Letters to the Editor
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Read the article "Redeemed! 10 Ways to Get Out of the Gay Life If You Want Out" written by Reverend Charlene E. Cothran

I confessed my lifestyle to my new Sunday School teacher
I'm an ex-lesbian.  When I started out I was a married woman.  I met my ex-lesbian friend at work.  I remain in the marriage but I would always slide back and forth meeting other women who were butches [masculine identified].  At that time I was also struggling with church and being with [women] at the same time.   One day I was on the phone with her.  The conversation was good but when I hung up the phone, [I was led to pick up] my Bible.  I opened it and the Lord took me to Romans 1:28.  He told me if I didn't leave that lifestyle He would give me over to a reprobate mind [a thought pattern that firmly believes that wrong is right.]  However, I still desired the lifestyle.  Thank God, I started going to a new church.  On the first Sunday I felt His presence.  ... The following Sunday the Lord asked me to fast that day.  I confessed my lifestyle to my new Sunday School teacher.  On that day she asked me if I wanted to be free really.  I was comfortable the way I was, but deeper inside I knew that [being a lesbian] was wrong.   I went up to the alter and she laid hands on me and by the power of God I was not the same again.  ... I could never have been free if it were not for the blood of Jesus.  He washed away my sins.  I just want to say that people are really being deceived by the devil into believing that this lifestyle is comfortable and right but please remember God is a holy and clean God.  Turn away from your sins and submit yourself to Him and be washed by His blood.  That's the only way.  
God Bless,
Angela S.
Brooklyn, NY 

Publisher's Note: I confessed my lifestyle to my Sunday School teacher
Angela, I just want to normalize your experience of having someone lay hands on you and your receiving corrected spiritual vision.  I am writing because so many Believers try to act as though this is some bizarre occurrence, like Jesus himself never laid hands on a person for deliverance.  He did.  He also charged his disciples [they weren't even Apostles yet] to do the same.  Thank God your Sunday School teacher understands that there are many workings of the Holy Spirit. Laying hands is certainly one of the ways He works through us and others.  Thank God for your deliverance!  Live for Jesus!
-Charlene

Publisher's Note:Damned if you do, damned if you don’t
My dear Cristina, I'm filled with joy that you have found hope in Jesus Christ anew!  That's what you see in me--Jesus!  Cristina, you see that the old Charlene who was trapped in sin, was crucified with Christ, however I'm still naturally alive. But the image you see is not really me, it's Him living inside of me!  The life I now live, I live THROUGH Him.  Galations 2:20  I want you to GET this because you're going to need it!  You must now begin the journey toward forgiving others or yourself for things that happened in the past and learning how to trust again. I couldn't forgive all those men who hurt me, BUT Christ forgave them THROUGH me!  Who hurt you?  Who is it that you can't trust?  Who are you angry with? God wants to HEAL your relationships so you won't try to live your new life so isolated.  It's GREAT that you're seeking a support group.  Make sure that your Helper [counselor] is a Bible-based Christian.  Now that your mind is open to change and deliverance, you need to be led through the Word of God by a Christ-centered counselor.  Never delay to contact this person for help should you ever feel hopeless again, however I believe that your season of hopelessness is OVER!  God has turned the page and now expects you to get yourself into a place where you can grow and be a blessing to others!  I love you. Stay in touch.  I want to know how you're doing.

Your Sister in Christ,
-Charlene

I hope you temper your remarks
First of all, I want to commend you for coming back to the Christian faith. I was listening to KCBC 770 AM Sacramento/Stockton. I'm glad I continued to listen because I almost turned you off when you said you wanted to make it clear that it was a choice, not that you were born that way.

That is true for your case, I'm sure, but I hope you temper your remarks to include the fact that some people ARE born that way. My brother is gay, and I hope he comes out of that lifestyle which is almost never a happy one. But I knew he was gay even when he was 3 or 4. He was different. He was always like a little girl, wanting to paint his nails and wear girly clothes/costumes. I've known other gay people who are obviously different and were born that way. One man said to me, "Do you think I would CHOOSE to be different and ostracized? That doesn't even make sense." You are attracted to men or women. In your case, you were turned off by men always "wanting one thing". And you are correct. Although I am white, most of my friends in high school were black, and I lived in a predominantly black community and have known, intimately, black families. I've seen that, at least in lower economic neighborhoods, young black males are trying (and succeeding) to have sex at a very young age, (9 or 10) and even start to be obsessed with it by 7 or 8. So I can see why you were turned off by men only wanting one thing.

But a lot of people won't listen to you, won't get help to get out of this lifestyle, if you say they weren't born that way, because a lot of them are. Of course, some people choose to be gay for one reason or another. But it would be a lot harder for someone who was born that way, to change. So, please don't stand on that statement that "it is a choice". Because it isn't always a choice. Some people really feel like they are born in the wrong body, and I feel for them deeply.

Come on, surely, you know of people who are obviously gay and born that way. If someone feels he was born that way, if he or she has any hope of getting out of that lifestyle, their hopes will be dashed as soon as they hear you say that your adamant that it is a choice. For you maybe, not for everyone.

Please reconsider your words. I wish you lots of luck and favor with the Lord for what you are doing.

I know a lot of Christians who, for some reason, won't admit/believe that gay people are born that way. I don't understand this. They somehow think it would be a betrayal by God, I guess, but that is not the case. We are all born with different crosses to bear. A gay person doesn't have to have homosexual sex, just like an alcoholic doesn't have to drink.

Think about it, and thank you for your time.

Publisher's Note: I hope you temper your words
Thank you for your letter concerning my conversion to Christianity. I'm not sure if you are a Christian or just curious but I'd like to address some of the thoughts you raise. I notice that your only reference to prove that gays are 'born this way' is your own observation. Human observation is enough to convince the thinker but the Christian is instructed by Christ not to trust in his own thoughts, if those thoughts and conclusions are not subject to God's Holy word. I Corinthian 10:3-5. There is no basis in scripture that gays are born that way; absolutely none.

I have also seen boys who were very feminine at 4 and 5 and I had no explanation for their tenderness until it was revealed to me in scripture:

1. God made them male and female period. Gen. 1:27. Then in Matthew 19:4,5 Christ himself answered and said unto them, 'Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female? For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife."  So clearly in old and new Testament scripture men were made for women only and vice versa.  Same sex attraction was not created by God.  If you mean by 'born this way' that they were born into sin and that the sin of sexual perversion shaped them in some very early way, I can agree with that.

2. Boys who are born tender and delicate need NOT allow society to label them as gay! Even when men are 'tender and very delicate' in nature as described in Deut. 28:54, they are still expected to take a woman as a wife, and bare children as commanded in Matt. 19:5; not marry a man and adopt or raise children they fathered with surrogates outside of the covenant that God created for family. I have personally looked into the eyes of hundreds of children being raised in gay households. Those were the saddest eyes I've ever seen. It haunts me to this day to have been a supporter of their shame. Yes, they love their parents but something innate to them KNOWS that what they are experiencing is wrong; thus the inner shame that shows in their eyes.

We also know that some women are born naturally as strong as men in build and temperance, like the prophetess and judge Deborah, but they are still expected to obey the commands of God and live holy, coupling with a man as husband should they desire to couple. Again, there is nothing in scripture supporting the 'born that way' theory.

3. Lastly, to gays who say 'Would I 'choose' persecution and hardship as a way of life?' the answer is YES you would. You choose, over and over, to satisfy your flesh, even after weighing the consequences. [damage to family relationships, possible damage to your health, hindrance of your true destiny, etc.] Any hardship or persecution is a by product of the choices you continuously make to walk as a gay person. [Actually 'gay persecution' is somewhat of an oxymoron in US culture. Anyone opposing homosexuality is instantly and consistently persecuted.] Your question is the same as a smoker asking 'Would I choose to get cancer?' Just because you've been smoking since 9 doesn't mean you were 'born a smoker.' What is clear is that you can't quit smoking on your own. So it is with same-sex addiction. But our Lord is so loving and merciful that for ANY man or woman sincerely desiring to be free, Jesus Christ can and will loose you by the power in His blood [redemption through forgiveness of sin] and the power in His Word [cleansing and strength through obedience to the Word and fellowship with other mature Christians.] This is how millions of others who were trapped in gay life have walked free and stayed free after many years.
-Charlene

Every point you made pierced my heart like a dagger 
No words can describe what this article has done to me. I seriously can not express how much you've helped me. Thank you so much for being God's servant for being so bold to not only say what you said but to post it to the Internet for all to see. You have no idea the profound impact this has had on me. It's 2:00 in the morning but I had to finish reading your article and then I couldn't help myself I had to e-mail you. Every point you made pierced my heart like a dagger. I've been dealing with homosexuality since I was 8 when my God Father molested me. I got saved at 15 and I've always felt like there's something holding me back.  This last year I just gave up and let homosexuality have its way with me and it just made my life a spiraling vortex of depression and sexual sin. I contemplated suicide a few times. So I can honestly say you saved my life today. You saved me from myself. I wish there was some way I could thank you in person. You're an amazing person God can do such profound things through you. That's one of my gifts. I can see people's potential but I could never see my own, but you've shown me that I can be used by God and in such a big way. How can I ever thank you for that?! I bet God just looks at you and is just overwhelmed with happiness He cries out in pure joy. You've saved a life tonight and for that I am eternally grateful.

People have been deceived
I write you to tell you that I too am homosexual and I am trying to get out of this, but it is somewhat difficult. [After reading] the testimony of Charlene Cothran, [and how she] changed and ceased to be a lesbian, I feel the call of God, and [I feel] good as well! I felt the call of God one day, when I woke up and [He] made me see all of the lies of the gay scene; everything superficial [and how] you live just for sex. I included myself because I was a prisoner of the lie and the evil. Along with me, [so many] people have been deceived. Many of the things that Charlene Cothran said in her testimonies are all truths. The devil wants [people] to believe, and me also at the time, that you can be Christian and homosexual at the same time but it is not [true] for God set up an order. I would like to save the order of God our Father. For those, I am writing to see how I can help. The temptation is strong, sometimes I fall and I am disappointed [because I feel that I have failed] Jesus in my promise to exit.

Being homosexual, I felt deep emptiness in my life. It [became emptier and emptier] until you reach [the point of being] sick. I [thought] I was not welcome to God. I did not know how to get out. I [even] tried to avoid people [so I would not feel] same sex-attraction. The only thing that I ask Jesus for is to help me quit. I would like [to fall in] love with a girl and that my love would be reciprocated as God [designed] since the beginning of the time. Now from outside God gave me the opportunity to see so many lies of homosexuality and the great vacuum that would be [in my life if I remain] living there. All prisoners of the flesh, the sex, drugs, orgies, and so many vain things. I got to see [the evil] and pass [truth] on [and] I have no regrets. I was in the biggest void in my life, but today I would like to leave all this behind and exit that life. That is why I write, for anyone to give me help from this already. Thank you. 

Greetings, M.

Publisher's Note: People have been deceived
My son, I want you, first of all, to rejoice because your eyes have been opened! You can now see things as they truly are, in the spirit world, while many others are seeing the same things and calling them ‘fabulous’.  What was meant to destroy you no longer has any power over you, as long as you continue to speak and walk in the Spirit of truth.  Here is a question for you. Do you have a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus? Have you ever really asked Him to forgive you of all your sins and come into your heart and live in you forever? You can’t skip this. It's good that you don’t want to be gay, and that you want fulfillment in life and love but you can only achieve perfect peace [which is what you are really looking for] in Jesus. 

You don’t want to leave gay life, only to turn to a life of sin with a girl.  If this happens and your heart is betrayed, then you will run back to your own vomit like a sick dog.  A relationship with a girl is not the answer right now.  A love relationship with JESUS is what you must seek. It’s not hard. Once you have prayerfully and earnestly asked for forgiveness, then get to know Him just like you would do in a love relationship. Call Him all the time! Tell Him how much you love to hear His words, and always want to be around Him! Give Him many gifts! Get cleaned up for Him; smell good for Him, and so on. [Praise from an obedient servant is a 'sweet smelling savor' to God!]  But, do it all in the Spirit! 

As far as temptation goes, my son, I want to first declare that you don’t have to fall ever again! I promise that if you would discipline yourself to stay in God’s presence for 1 hour a day, in prayer, devotion [singing love songs to Jesus] and Bible study you will NOT be nearly as weak or tempted to fall. You will build spiritual strength like a tree planted by the water. Attractions that used to easily upset your flesh, will go unnoticed. Yes, you can live without being constantly tempted. You will be occasionally tempted as a test of your spiritual strength but you can and will pass your next test in order to move to the next level in your spiritual walk. 

Lastly, I want you to memorize 1 John 1:9 “If we sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” As a Christian, you must know your rights! NEVER allow the devil to condemn you, as if you have no rights! When you truly repent from any fall or sin, God wipes your slate clean and never looks at that sin again. So do not hold guilt and do not allow others to make you feel guilty either. Move on and LIVE HOLY!! 

Love, Charlene

I have real peace
First, l want to let you know that I and my fellow pastors, we appreciate your message, "REDEEMED! 10 Ways to Get Out of the Gay Life, If You Want Out".  I received it [ ] in 2008. Since that time it has helped me a lot.  I was the first to find the way out, even though I was a pastor.  My church was not able to give me a way out from homosexuality.  From that time until now I have a real peace of mind.  We appreciate your work.  I have enjoyed reading and using your articles because of the fact that they don't get side tracked into denominational issues or theological opinions, but stick pretty well to the scriptures. ...  I think sometimes that churches and pastors develop the belief that their job is to win converts to a denomination and they loose sight of the fact that in reality [their job] is to make disciples of Christ.  May the Lord God bless you abundantly for your message because many have come to know God and our Savior Jesus Christ.  Your message is still alive.  Because many are coming out of the trap of lesbianism and homosexuality.


I am a 21 year old female who is engaged to another female.
First I want to apologize if this letter is all over the place, but quiet honestly so am I.  I've been in the homosexual lifestyle since I was very young.  I know that God is tugging on the strings of my heart and begging me to come back to him.  I know that the lifestyle I live is wrong but letting go is where my issue truly lies; letting go of her and the relationship I have; letting go of the lifestyle I'm so comfortable with.  I have come to terms with the fact that I am a co-dependent.  I've come to terms with the fact that I have trust issues and terrible self esteem as well.  ...

I guess I feel as though this transformation is hard to go through alone. But then again there goes my co-dependency issues. I want to be happy and I want to live right. I want the fulfillment. I don't want to live my life co-dependant on a female to tell me how I look or who I am. I need some prayer and support.

-Rachael

Publisher's Note: I am a 21 year old female who is engaged to another female.Rachael, Rachael, Let's go to God.  
Father in the name of Jesus, we come to you now and ask for your divine guidance for my sister.  Father you said in your word that when we acknowledge you in ALL our WAYS that you would direct our paths.  Lord we know that this means even in our wrong WAYS, when we acknowledge sin in our lives and ask for forgiveness and help  that you are FAITHFUL to perform your promises.  

Father, we are asking for your anointing to destroy the yoke of emotional bondage so that co-dependency and low self esteem can never again reattach themselves to Rachael's thought life.  Lord you said in your word that there are angels in heaven waiting to be dispatched according to  the prayers of your saints.  We pray now for angels [people who you use to deliver divine messages of grace and encouragement] to be placed in her path to constantly remind her of your presence and that you are working in her life.  Lord you said in your word that you have thoughts and plans for Rachael; thoughts of peace and not of evil to bring her to your expected end.  Now God, we pray that you will reveal your precious thoughts to her.  Give her a glimpse, in the Spirit, of what you have planned for her life as she brings this sinful chapter of her life to a close.  Let her know, Lord Jesus, that if she will make a decision to trust you and obey and endure some time alone with you that her future in you is bright and filled with love, a wonderful family, a business, and a mission assignment.  Show her your plans Lord, then equip her to run toward them.  

Lord, we pray that you will now strengthen her with might in her inner person.  We cancel the attack of the enemy that will come against her new walk with you.  Father, cover her under the shadow of your protection and let her know that her past is now under the blood of Jesus.  Nothing from the past can harm her.  We now release her Ex [the person to whom Rachael had been emotionally tied] into your loving hands.   Lord, cause her and her Ex to LET GO and move into their own spiritual places where you can minister directly to them separately.  Father draw her Ex to the cross of redemption with your loving kindness and tender mercy the same way you did us.  We now seal this pray in the powerful and matchless name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Rachael, be encouraged.  Visit us here often and we'll continue to keep you lifted in prayer!  I love you with the love of Jesus Christ.

-Charlene

Perhaps God has stopped me
salve io ho bisogno di aiuto. sono un ragazzo di 22 anni e da poco mi è stato detto che ho un disturbo di identità di genere. stavo per cominciare a prendere ormoni per diventare donna ma forse è stato Dio che mi ha fermato o la mia paura. Sono profondamente in crisi perchè io non mi accetto come persona e da un pò di tempo non riesco piu a legarmi con nessuno. ho scarsissima autostima di me e non riesco più ad entrare in contatto con nessuno. mi sento solo a questo mondo. sono cristiano e cerco di praticare, ma ho il cuore chiuso e sembra che Dio non stia facendo niente per me. come devo fare per vivere la vita in pienezza e gioia? vi prego rispondetemi.

in più voglio chiedere se conoscete qualche comunità cristiana di accoglienza che si occupa di un percorso terapeutico per omosessuali. 
Grazie, Matteo

Perhaps God has stopped me
Hello I need help. I am a 22-year-old boy and [ever since I was very] little [it has] been said that I have a type of identity trouble. I was about to begin to take hormones to become [a] woman but perhaps God [has] stopped me or my fears. I am deeply in crisis because [people do not welcome a person like me]. I am very shy and I do not socialize with people much. I feel [all] alone to this world. [I want to become a] Christian and I want to put [my Christian beliefs] into practice, but [my] heart [is] closed and [it] seems God [is not] doing anything for me. [What should I do] to live life in fullness and delight? I pray for your response.
Thanks, Matteo

Publisher's Note: Perhaps God has stopped me
My dear son Matteo, You are not alone in this world. The Lord Jesus hears your heart crying and has sent me and others to pray with you and for you. I know that you feel that there is no way out but that is a lie! The way out is to say YES to Jesus Christ with your WHOLE heart. He will come in and change your life. I want you to read in the Bible the book of Luke 17:11-16. It is the story of men who were outcast in their community, they were lepers. They cried to Jesus with a loud voice saying 'Master, have mercy on us!' It was illegal for them to speak to Jesus because He was of another race but they were desperate! I can feel that you are desperate to be free of your anguish and confusion.

Pay attention to what happens next. As soon as He saw them He said to them, 'GO! And show yourselves unto the priests.' Only people who had already been healed were required to go to the priest to show proof of their healing and to pay a sacrifice to the church. But Jesus commanded them to Go, JUST LIKE THEY WERE! Then look at what happens!!! The Bible says they were cleansed AS THEY WENT!!!! My Brother, if you will only recognize that Jesus is now saying to you GO! Believing that His power is healing you! GO on with your life, keeping His commandments and He will heal you AS YOU GO! Keep close to God in prayer and study His Word. You will begin to notice changes in the way you feel, the way you dress, the way you walk and the way you talk. It happened that way for me too! I was very masculine. When I got saved I hated the way I looked and my mannerisms were not very lady like. But I would not let that make me think that God was not IN me working His power of change. I didn't care who rejected me because I found that Jesus never rejected me.

I finally asked Him to remove the last residue of my old life since He could see that my heart was pure. He did just that! Now I look and feel so different that my old friend would probably not recognize me on the street. I am ALL woman, and I LOVE my femininity! I am repulsed by the memory of the way I surrendered myself to gay life. However, I don't condemn others. I know that God can heal them in an instant -OR- heal them as they go! For me, it was not even about becoming feminine. It was about surrendering to Jesus completely in exchange for the peace and the guarantee of everlasting life. You must Surrender your whole heart to Him today.

Matteo, KNOW that Jesus loves you and has mercy on you, right where you are. Go on with your life loving and obeying Him, with all your heart. Soon, everyone around you will notice the CHANGE! Lastly, know that you are never alone. We are always here for you! 

Love, Charlene

I will not die this way
I just wanted to let you know that I am an ordained preacher. I have been in the church all my life. I am recently separated from my wife after 9 years of marriage because of my hidden life style. I read the article and I really appreciate reading this testimony which offers hope and true deliverance for those that are actively seeking for it. I have resolved in my heart that I will not die this way though many days prior to this day it seemed to have been the thing to do; just throw my life away and die. Forget the promises God made as he did to the children of Israel and die. No!!!, I refuse to because God made me a promise. Thanks again and you be encouraged in your ministry.

I am not going to be gay
Me chamo Lucas, tenho 18 anos, sou virgem e nunca beijei na boca. Luto contra a atração pelo mesmo sexo, não quero ser gay. Preciso de ajuda.

[I call myself Lucas, I am 18 old years, I am a virgin and never I kissed in the mouth. I fight against the appeal by the same sex, I am not going to be gay. I need of help.]

Publisher's Note: I am not going to be gay
My son, you are NOT going to be gay.  Know that you can reject any gay thought as soon as it comes to you. When any unclean thought comes to your mind, speak out loud, "I do NOT accept this thought as my own.  I return it to the sender! That is NOT my thought, I do NOT receive it!"  Your body must do what your thoughts command. 

I want you to begin to pay much closer attention to what you are choosing to allow into your eyes, ears, mouth, and touch.  These are the enemy's gateway into your subconscious thinking. These senses bring the world's culture into your body IF YOU LET THEM IN.  Don't!   Be more careful of the types of music you listen to, the images you watch on TV or online, and the magazines and books you read.  Ephesians 6 says to put on the "helmet of salvation". A helmet protects your head! Protect your thought life, my son, and you will never be gay! 

Love you! -Charlene

About to jump 
I'm really tired right now. So I can't say all I need to right now. But I will send a follow up letter.  I just want to say do not be discouraged and do not quit.  You may be the only lifeline for some of us.  Satan is trying to throw me down a long awful path I do and don't want at the same time.  I know the end is death and so I don't want to even start down it.  But I feel that something needs to be identified and healed inside of me that is making me struggle this way. I t is so painful and tormenting.  There are some things I'd like to get your opinion on, but I am worn out reading and listening to all the internet articles and videos that led me to you.  I would just start over tomorrow, but I needed to make the commitment to this before I went to sleep, and I thought you may need the encouragement now in case it takes me a while to get back in touch.  Please DON'T quit because I think I may need your ministry to get to the other side of this. 

Is it possible to be with a woman and still fulfill God's mission for me on earth?
I came across your post... I've been struggling confused and lost... I am a bisexual female and I am currently in a relationship with a girl.... however I recently moved to Virginia and started going to this church.  I have cried many nights. I have been talking to God. Waiting patiently to receive my answers.... is it possible to be with a woman and still fulfill God's mission for me on earth? I've shared this with my girlfriend and she is heart broken.  But I'm NOT really sure if God will accept me into the gate of heaven if I continue to live this way.  I know He loves us no matter what but we can only continue to do the same sin before He gets tired of it.  Please respond with words of wisdom encouragement and help....

Publisher's Note: Is it possible to be with a woman and still fulfill God's mission for me on earth?    My sister, it sounds like you already KNOW the truth in your heart of hearts. Now you need the strength to obey a loving God. He LOVES you and her but obedience is the only way to live in the will of God.  DO NOT allow gay culture to lie to you and convince you that one can be both an unrepented gay person and a devout Christian at the same time.  HELL is enlarging her mouth to accommodate all who find that lie 'convenient'.

People say "I prayed and God didn't answer, God didn't take my gay desires away." Well, guess what? It takes more than prayer alone.  We must watch as well as pray. Once you get up from giving God your heart felt petition, then the Bible says to watch, which means to guard your own soul.  When you really mean it, 'YES Lord I want out of this. I want to live freely and abundantly in YOU. I don't want to struggle all my life with this'; YOU then must show God that you mean business. I walked away from my job, a 10 year relationship, my influence and gay friends in exchange for total peace. AND HE HAS REWARDED ME ACCORDING TO MY FAITH. He'll do the same for you.  
I'm free and you can be free too.
-Charlene

RE: Is it possible to be with a woman and still fulfill God's mission for me on earth? 
thank you.. people always say God will love you no matter what. as long as you repent of your sins. but i don't think He'll keep forgiving me if I keep making the same mistake.  This is very hard for me cause I never wanted to hurt anyone but realized I'm hurting God even more by not listening nor following His word.  I know that this isn't the lifestyle for me now.  At first I was like 'it doesn't matter what the people say as long as I know that God is on my side. But how can He be on my side all the time if I'm going against His word?  I know it's not going to happen over night but its going to happen. I'm going to pray about giving Him my all and let her go.

Feeling rejected [in church] almost crushed the seeds that were implanted
All I can say is Wow!  When I first read Charlene's testimony my eye's widened like a child who just got a treat or something, then my nosy nature took hold and - had to see what was going on. I've been in and out of church for a while and I lived a great part of my life as a lesbian.  It's crazy Because I share the same part of sister Dawn's testimony when she talked about (playing house). I started playing when I was six. - had a boyfriend throughout elementary school and i did not desire girls, however I was very promiscuous. 

I won't go through my life history but I walked out on lesbianism in 2005-6. I went to church to sort of make it official with God but - was treated harshly - came home took off those (girly clothes) and told myself I wasn't going to try [that] again.  The anger and resentment I felt for being treated harshly and feeling rejected almost crushed the seeds that were implanted in me. You see when I was 18 I heard a voice telling me I was chosen.  He told me... if I followed Him,  He would make me a leader.  I told no one but my mom because she knew about the Lord. - was running from the calling practically all my life. 

Right now I feel empty because I don't feel like I am being used for God's ministry. It's sort of like I'm just abstaining.  I sometimes have dreams about one of my ex. I wake up feeling guilty as if I'm fronting about not practicing being a lesbian, like in my subconscious mind it is still there. I will share periodically with you because I feel a close connection to this ministry. I haven't fully felt the surrender because I haven't been to a church I feel comfortable in. I have been to one that I was able to worship in and I feel greatly appreciated by it but I know it's not going to take me to the heights that I feel God has for me. I want to belong to some part of the family of the body of Christ and I wasn't feeling it.  Now to hear sister Dawn's testimony about the evil that is present in the church makes me shy away.  

See I made a fast and a petition to the Lord recently, this time instead of turning my plate over i asked Him what I should fast for, he answered clear as day FILTHY LANGUAGE. I started laughing because when I get angry. I curse like a sailor. Get this too, I was told to NOT BE ASHAMED OF THE CROSS, and I was told to READ PAUL.  BUT before God told me to read Paul He asked me why I didn't go to worship at the temple. I answered I was being treated unfairly. 

I was wondering why God wanted me to read Paul and [it was revealed to me] that I will have to face persecution. I want all the benefits of Christ but I am not willing to be shipwrecked and beaten. 

I pray that you make some contact with me by posting a response I can read.  It would really lift me up. Plus I ask that you pray for my son and myself!  It is funny that you made the pledge about 'Proud to be no longer gay' and made JUNE the official month for the pledge. An old friend of mine that I used to follow saw my son and told him to ask me if I was going to gay pride this was like 08. I knew better than that and was like no way! I am good. I honestly felt good that I had the power of choice to say no. I love Jesus too much to insult Him that way! I too PLEDGE PROUD TO NO LONGER BE GAY!  There are other things that I am dealing with but the Bible says the prayers of the righteous availeth much! 

-GOD BLESS

Publisher's Note: Feeling rejected [in church] almost crushed the seeds that were implanted     My daughter, I want you to know how Godly proud I am of you!  What an awesome revelation God has shown you.  We must be just as willing to suffer when we return to God's way as we were when we stepped into the gay life.  As a lesbian, I was totally willing to suffer all kinds of persecution, just to satisfy my flesh and my pride.  When I came to Christ and back into the church, I surely faced what you so perfectly describe as rejection from God's people.  I've learned over the years that these are indeed God's people but they have been molded in their thinking that a person cannot be fully delivered from sexual sin.  Any other sin, Yes, but not from homosexuality.  So there's a lot of isolation at first.  

I assure you that if you will maintain your joy during that time, God will cause your suffering to add to your character and ripen the fruit of the Spirit in you.  During this time, your praise is even sweeter to Him!  The Bible says it's like 'a sweet smelling savior gone up into His nostrils.'   In Matthew 5th chapter Jesus instructs us to 'REJOICE when men revile you and persecute you and say all manner of evil against you falsely for Christ's sake.'  Note: Make certain that your suffering is for Christ's sake.  And that you're not simply isolating YOURSELF from others, then blaming them.  

Lastly, this 'rejection' is preparing you for what God has for you NEXT!  This is HIs 'quality control' test for you.  He needs to make sure that you are stronger, less sensitive, more humble [all those years of gay 'PRIDE' have to be brought low] than when you started this walk with Him.  Work out your soul's salvation, right where you are among the people of God.  In God's perfect timing He will change your season!  Then the people at church will care less about your past!  They'll just want the Word that lives in your mouth!
-Charlene

We are so much closer now
Last June I started a support group for parents of children with same-sex-attraction. You encouraged me and gave me advice as to telling my daughter. Well, the Lord has provided for my church to support me in establishing the group as a part of our support ministry.  Right from the start they have been very supportive especially in advertising it.  We started last fall but did not hear from anyone until December.  My husband and I have been meeting with a sweet couple at least once a month for lunch after church. Then two weeks ago we got an email from another mother and one week ago another mother.  I meet with them individually first and then we will all get together soon.

I did not tell my daughter until recently and she seemed very positive about it.  We are so much closer now even though she knows I do not affirm her lifestyle, (not a term she acknowledges). The Lord has grown me in a lot of ways and taught me so much in these past several years.  And I know it is all preparing me for even more.  

Thank you for your time, I just wanted to keep you informed. Please let me know if you are going to be (in the Greensboro) area anytime.  I would love to meet you in person! 

In His Care, 
Judy Schoolfield

Publisher's Note: We are so much closer now
Judy, thank God for the patience He has developed in you and your husband.  You are so right that all this is for something more.  Jeremiah 29:11 say 'He knows the thoughts and plans He has for you, thoughts of peace and not of evil to bring you to an expected end.  Another translations says 'to give a hope and a future.'   God is using all your preparation to launch your ministry to the thousands of parents who are being devastated right now by the news of a gay child coming out or an 'out' child getting 'married'.  They will seek you out, then organizations will seek you out, then nations will seek your advice.  Parents in China have the same terrible grief and concerns for their gay children as parents in Greensboro and they want to hear from YOU!  Keep learning, sharing and growing.

I am considering an invitation to visit Greensboro again in early Fall 2011. Once I have the details I'll send an email blast to everyone.  Please make sure to join our email list or update your email address there.  Know that our list is strictly private.  You will never receive emails from anyone else except The Evidence Ministry, Inc. 

Until we meet, 
-Charlene

Do you still struggle with same-sex attraction?
I have just read your article and as I have for many years struggled with the other side of the issue, i.e. homophobia, I'd like to ask this question, as I feel that it is very important. Do you still struggle with same-sex attraction?  I don't ask this to in any way judge or condemn but I know that we can all be tempted with one sin or another and it is what we do with that temptation that makes it sin. I also know of friends of mine who have now repented.

-Yours in Christ and with the utmost respect.

Publisher's Note: Do you still struggle with same-sex attraction?
Thanks for allowing our website to minister to you. To answer your question, NO, I do not struggle with gay thoughts or desires.  I DO struggle with other issues.  I struggle with my weight although I don't 'dislike' my body image. [I think I look good at any size! smile]  I struggle with controlling my tongue!  I'm very passionate and when I feel I'm right, I broadcast it, sometimes before allowing the Holy Ghost to shut me up!  Our hearts can deceive us Christians into believing we're right when we are dead wrong about a thing.  I have to control my tongue long enough for God to say 'sit down and keep that to yourself.'

But concerning same-sex attraction, I've never looked back at women since I got saved.  Some don't believe that but there are many who have been similarly delivered from sexual addiction, drug addiction, alcohol addition and NEVER since the day they met Jesus, desired to touch it again!  I'm one of those testimonies. 

You must learn, as I did, how to use the word of God to control our thoughts. The enemy is able to deceive many by planting a thought, linked to a gay memory, in you mind. Then he tells you that YOU desire this; you are still subconsciously wanting this. NOT SO!  Just because the devil planted the thought, you do NOT have to ACCEPT it. In fact, in I Corinthians. 10:3-9, the we are commanded to 'cast down every imagination that exalts itself against the word of God,' and to 'bring EVERY THOUGHT into the obedience of God.'

So when a gay thought, a call, or any opportunity to sin in your flesh or otherwise is 'presented' to you, say out loud:

"Satan, the Lord rebukes you! Take that thought back to HELL where it came from!  That is NOT my desire. That is YOUR presentation and I REJECT it!  Thank you Jesus for freeing me and giving me the power, through your Spirit, to walk in the Spirit and for teaching me how to use the weapon of the Word of God!"

This is spiritual warfare 101.  Every Christian must learn to use the Word as a weapon when we need.

-Charlene

I was searching for something totally different
I am an African-American and last week I had a cousin to “come out of the closet.”  It doesn’t matter that I am 32-years-old and gave my life to Christ some 17 years ago because we are faced with new challenges everyday of our lives.  I won’t say I have been troubled, but I have been bothered, because my family is from a very small town and the churches there haven’t equipped themselves for these types of fights.  I have been praying about how and what to pray for with him, because it seems they have a counter-attack waiting for you when you approach them with this issue.  

I praise God for finding this article titled Redeemed! 10 Ways to Get Out of the Gay Life, If You Want Out.  The Holy Spirit lead me right to that article, because I was searching for something totally different.  After reading this, I realized the deliverance and salvation of our homosexual and bi-sexual loved ones and associates will come just the same as everything else God does.  He puts you in it and delivers you from it to anoint you for others.  As children of God, we have to know and understand that most of what we fight, isn’t necessarily for us, but for someone else.  It could be for someone on the other side of the world, but that’s just how BIG our God is.

Thanks for this awesome work, which is now for the kingdom of God.

I'm 17 and I've been involved in the bisexual lifestyle for 4 years 
It all started with pornography, gay pornography to be exact. I thought I could fight it by running away from it, but it turned out, I was just lying to myself.  My Junior yr. of high school (which was last year) was a battle for me because I was confused. 

Not that long ago, I fell down on my knees in front of God, broke down in agony, asking for God to take over my life and redeem me, deliver me and cast out this demon that took control of me. 

From then on I've been an "EX-Bisexual" and an "EX-Masturbator".  I always remember the verse in Proverbs that says "Guard Your Heart, for it is the Wellspring of LIFE." and the devil has tried to tempt me but I'm fighting it each step of the way by resisting it and keeping myself in the Word on a daily basis.  I just needed your advice on how to keep myself strong in the Word and how to meditate on the word and in GOD. I'm praying for God to give me strength each day. What is the best way to stay grounded and rooted in the Word???

Sue

Publisher's Note: I've been involved in the bisexual lifestyle for 4 years 

Sue,  the best way to stay grounded in the Word is get a few verses into your memory so that they spring up inside whenever you happen to find yourself in dangerous territory of loneliness, depression or temptation.  The Word will FIGHT for you if its IN you!  

Also, be sure to not contaminate your 'YES' by holding on to things like gifts from old lovers, old messages in your inbox, etc..  Be obedient to the Word and clean them out, throw them away!  Even if you feel like there is little harm to keep them because you don't read them or use the gifts, but God REWARDS complete surrender!  God will release liberty to you when you obey the command to get rid of the old 'stuff'.  It works!  Try it, then once you have been impacted by this truth,  SHARE it with your high school and college buddies.  Be strong and be bold. YOU ARE GOD's WORD in your school!  

Love Ya!  Mean It!  

-Charlene

Parents, don't  let shame keep you away
Thank you so much for your note of encouragement about starting a parent Support Group at my church.  The idea was well received there and preparations are underway now. Looking back I understand why it has taken me over a year to know God’s timing in this.  There were some things he needed to teach me.  I needed to also realize how much I needed to depend on Him totally for this, the same with my daughter and how I approach her. Since all this came to light two years ago He has provided me with wonderful devotionals of hope, comfort, and faith: and above all, Love Never Fails.  That will be my constant theme at every meeting.  Again, thank you and please send anything my way that will help me to encourage my group. Also pray that these parents will not let shame keep them from coming.

In God’s care, Judy 
Greensboro NC

I've been struggling 
I'm 17 years old and I've been struggling with being very involved with my church while I was dating a girl.  I felt bad the whole time because I knew it was wrong and I led her down the wrong path.  But since I saw your page it gave me hope that I can give it all to God.  Last night I broke up with the girl but I just need your advice.  How did you stay so strong and not give up?

Publisher's Note: I've been struggling
My dearest daughter, You are stronger than you think!  Your obedience is the way to the reward of strength you seek. You do NOT have to struggle with this.

Here are a few things to do. 
1. Make sure you're not trying to make an under-the-table 'deal' with God. 
He wants your whole heart, not just your desire to stay free from gay life. Understand? Some pray 'Lord take the gay away', but if God did only that, they might then go out and be whorish with a person of the opposite sex. God doesn't make under the table deals. He wants to deliver ALL of your habits, not just the ones you're willing to offer up. Make sure your 'YES' is whole and real!

2. Get intimate with Jesus. 
Since you don't know how yet, get started like this: Treat your relationship with Jesus like you did when you met your ex. Literally! Call Him several times a day! Tell Him how thankful you are to have met Him; how you want to get to know Him; how you'd like to spend more time with Him, then do it!

3. Get in the habit of REDIRECTING your thoughts! 
When you are trying to get into the presence of God through prayer and meditation, your thoughts will naturally distract you. Redirect you thoughts by praying aloud or by memorizing a few scriptures that keep your thoughts/flesh in check. Also memorize scriptures that keep His promises to you assured!

4. Trust Him. TRUST through faith is how we relate and REST in Him. 
Learn to Trust God by trying Him, obeying what the Word says to do about your situation. Trust in God means when there is nothing else to lean on, you still obey Him!  He will NEVER fail you and you will have that victory as a major building block for the next time you face a similar situation. Soon your faith and trust in Him will be so strong, you will laugh when the devil attempts to frighten, threaten, or tempt you. Trust in God comes from knowing His Word. There is No way around it. Get in the book or in a bible study or join The Evidence Ministry Discipleship group.  More to come from my upcoming book!

Father In the Name of Jesus, 
I thank you for my daughter who has made a decision to stand for holiness and to live in accordance to your will. Lord, I ask that you strengthen her in her inner being according Ephesians 3:14-20, so she will know the depth, width and height of your love for her. Cause my daughter to be rooted and grounded in your love for her.  Teach her that loving you intimately brings deep joy! Reveal to her that THIS is where her strength lives!  Fill her with ALL the fullness of your Spirit. 
Lord Jesus, because she has obeyed you, reward her with the same strength and boldness you gave to Peter and John in Acts 4!  Give her a hunger for your Word and a thirst for seeking your presence, early each day.  Direct her ways in truth as you promised in Isaiah 61. Teach her how to trust you and walk with you. Teach her how to speak your Words from her mouth to fight the enemy of her soul.  I cancel the assignment of the enemy against her and rebuke every distraction that carries a curse-specifically certain T.V., movies, Internet, calls, email, texts, tweets that are aimed to pull her away from you.  I cursed them and declare them dead to her senses.  I stand in this gap for her until my daughter learns to die daily for herself.  I curse all words and weapons of condemnation assigned to stunt her growth and boldness.  Teach my daughter that ANY man, woman in Christ Jesus is a new creature! Old things are passed away! Behold all things are become new! 2Corn. 5:17.  Bless her and reveal to her the thoughts and plans you have for her according to Jeremiah 29:11.

In Jesus Name I pray, 
Amen and it IS SO!

-Charlene

Wow! They look very happy
I wanted to give you a update. I was watching a reality T.V. show and there is a woman who is out at her job, and she has a partner and they are married.  This past week I watch it and it showed her and her partner renew there vows in front of their family and friends.  In that amount of time I'm thinking ''Wow! They look very happy, and I entertained the thought...maybe one more time.  I couldn't of been in my right mind after all I have been through. Especially with God coming to get me out of my mess.  I started looking at profiles online, and put one up.  God stated that if you go back or continue to give this an option I will lift my hand over you.  I couldn't sleep.  I was anxious, I had lost my Peace. The next day I watched Joyce Meyer's spiritual show. She was interviewing a Pastor. He stated something that changed everything for me. He stated .'Direction not Intentions determines your Destination".  I cried, and asked God to forgive me for thinking of walking out on him again.  I immediately removed my profile and started praying in the area of [strength] not making a choice  to go back. I know I'm rambling on and on.  I'm back on track. Please keep me in your prayers.

M

Found freedom from the great Deceiver
I am 54 years old, and like you, spent most of my adult life as a lesbian. I, too, through much prayer from a most loving group and a most gracious Lord, have found freedom from the great Deceiver. I won't go into my testimony now, but just wanted you to know that I just found your website yesterday--Praise God!
     
     I have been on a mission to plant seeds with my brother and sister, and countless friends who insist they were created by God to be who they are; have asked God to change them if gay is so wrong; that if there were some "magic" pill they could take and be straight, they would; God hasn't changed me so it can't be wrong; do not see homosexuality as a sin because the Bible was written by man; and of course don't believe one can be ex-gay. I've been praying that God would lead me to people who could help me with the right words to plant the good seeds, to help them see what took me oh, so many years...I could go on and on about all their justifications--I understand, for I was once there, too.

     I wanted to write you yesterday as soon as I found you, but decided to sleep on it. I will be in contact with you again, soon, and on next payday begin to contribute to your ministry. 

      I thank my Lord and Savior for giving you the strength and courage to do what you're doing. I pray that He continues to uplift us and encourage us to fight the good fight, to run the good race, and that as you say in your "Ten Ways"--that the Gay Agenda will be exposed for what it is, and that God is preparing to bring millions of gays and lesbians back to His feet.

     God Bless you, precious one. You're in my prayers and thoughts.

     Sincerely,
     Deb Tapscott
     One of your Proud Sisters in Christ

There was this emptiness that I thought would disappear
First off, I THANK GOD for showing you to me! You are truly a gift from God.  I am a 24 year old male and for the last several years, I have identified as gay.  Ironically, I not only grew up in a Christian household, but both my grandfathers were ministers. My father is also now a minister. Growing up, my mother and my father didn't get along and that kept me from visiting his house often.  I didn't have that strong male figure to guide me when I needed one and we slowly drifted apart. Along with that, I was very shy and overweight and so most of my childhood and early adolescence, I was the last picked for sports and didn't really have any real friends.  I craved acceptance on some level in my life.  I knew I was not born gay, I remember liking girls in grade school. One would think that with God all around me, I wouldn't have strayed the way I did. Nevertheless, at about 14, I started seeking love from men.

When I was 17, I began going to online chat rooms looking for men for anonymous sexual encounters. After each encounter, there was this emptiness that I thought would disappear the more I took part in the anonymous encounters. There was always this nagging feeling that what I was doing was not right.  I couldn't tell anyone, I felt the need to hide, and to live this double life. About 5 years ago, I started to think about all the men I had been with and that I had not protected myself any of those times. Every time someone would mention HIV/AIDS, I would tense up because I knew I had opened up myself to that possibility. About a year ago, I had started having health problems and was increasingly concerned about the possibility of having contracted HIV.  I mustered up the courage to get tested and by the Glory of God, it was Negative.  I vowed from that day to never take life for granted, because it is not promised. I still continued in the homosexual lifestyle, but told myself I would eventually find a lasting relationship.

My life slowly deteriorated from there. I had no friends, and I was increasingly lonely. About 2 days ago, I had a terrifying dream of being seduced by a man in the beginning and the dream ended with a screaming man in all black coming after me and I couldn't escape. I awoke and immediately opened the bible and the first scripture I opened to ( Proverbs 6:9-11 ) was about sleeping and right then i knew it was a message from God that I need to wake up, not only in the physical but in the spiritual. I then went searching online for others like me and your article on Black Gospel not only touched me, but reaffirmed the message God had given me. Later that day all I could do was cry out to God for saving my soul and caring enough about me to rescue me from the grasp of the enemy.  In one day, I disconnected from a longtime gay friend of mine completely, deleted all the secular music I had and asked God to forgive me for straying so far from him. He has shown me this lifestyle was not for me in so many ways but I was stubborn and was convinced that was who I was. NO MORE. I am now on a journey to only uplift my lord Jesus Christ, who saw the good in me enough to wake me up out of my sin and set me on the right path. For that, I am eternally grateful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for what you did for me and what you are continuing to do for people struggling to see the truth of God.

Amen and God Bless. -Anthony

I refuse to respond, period.
I'm the woman who wrote you over 4 months ago after walking away from my relationship, and being nervous about breaking a lease, and going to court. Please let me give you a brief update. I wrote the manager and told him of my health, and I had missed so much work, and how sorry I was for breaking the lease.  I sent it with delivery confirmation.  He hasn't written me back, nor has he called.  
     Also I have stayed in the Word.  I had this overwhelming sense of loneliness and as I was thinking of calling someone. I was beginning to lose my peace [BUT] I haven't looked back since! 
     I don't have to worry of taking care of someone and sacrifice myself and keeping a roof over my head.  I have completely stopped gambling. God is good!  My ex has tried to get in contact with me through e-mails, letters, calls at work over the past 4 months.  I refuse to respond, period.  I'm actually planning to do nice things for myself.  I have a long way to go. With God I can make it!

-M.

Publisher's Note: I refuse to respond, period.
Praise God!  I can feel the power of God in your words because you're in the Word! You have grown so much in such a short time!  Your beautiful new life is LIMITLESS!  I'm so proud of you!  As long as you keep your focus on Jesus, and your thoughts WORD-centered, God is going to do EXCEEDING, abundantly, above all that you can ask or think! [Ephesians 3:20] Also, God promised that you WILL recover ALL the enemy has taken from you.

I love your updates so please do not apologize for your long emails. God is working on you as you  pour out your heart to Him. David said in Psalms 34, "...I prayed to the Lord and He answered me and freed me from all my fears!" You and David  have something in common!!! Your email 4 months ago came out of the groaning of your heart and the Lord heard it like a pray and answered you! Now BLESS the Lord at all times! just as David declares!

Stay strong my sister and stay in Touch!  Love your updates!!!

-Charlene

Jesus Is LORD!!
Praise GOD for his wonderful love and salvation.  I am 25 from Nazareth, Israel.  Jesus has set me free from homosexuality and nowadays I am [ ] a servant of the Lord!  I thank Him everyday for His mercy and Love and how he came to me and set me free!!
    I want to encourage you to continue to fight the good fight of faith while Jesus is Glad to see you bringing more people to Him and to be set free from homosexuality!

Blessings IN HIM, 
Greetings from Nazareth in Galilee
-M. S.

"And it shall come to pass in that day, that his burden shall be taken away
from off thy shoulder, and his yoke from off thy neck, and the yoke shall be
destroyed because of the anointing." Isaiah 10:27

God saved me out of lesbianism-sin last week 
I am a Christian but my faith for HIM was only maybe 60%? Even though I know [lesbianism] is sin I still continue to do it.. but I hear God's calling.  HE wants me to minister for HIM!!! Please help me to choose the right theological school for pastoral counseling... and help me to minister to more people to let people know of HIS glory. 
     Evil temptation is so strong now. But with HIM I will overcome. Please pray for my faith to be stronger... and HE will give me strength and not succumb to temptation anymore. And that I could tell my lesbian friends of HIS wonderfulness and they would accept Christ:) THANK YOU!!! GOD LOVES ALL OF YOU AND BLESSES YOU!!!:)

-K from Indonesia

Publisher's Note: God saved me out of lesbianism-sin last week
My dearest Sister, 
I am rejoicing along with the angels in heaven that you have come to that place of conviction and repentance and asked God to forgive you for all your sins.  Praise of God!  I do know how excited you are to have light in your heart after so much darkness.  
   Please let me share with you about many things you have stated.  You mentioned that God has saved you but it sounds like you are still in need of deliverance from the desire for lesbianism in your flesh.  YES, YOU CAN BE fully free through obedience to the Word of God and by walking very carefully while the Word cleanses and transform you.  I have no doubt that God intends to use you but the bible teaches us to wait on our ministry until He has done a work that others can believe through you.  If you are still 'doing it', then let's work the Word and submit completely to it and give it time to prune or cut away the things in you that are not according to His will, or ministry for His people.  
     I know from your letters that you are still in very close contact with all your lesbian friends and your ex.  That's part of the reason for your great temptation.  My sister, you must be willing to forsake ALL others for Christ.  Have you forsaken anything, anyone for His sake?  You cannot remain inside your old environment and consistently walk in the Spirit.  When we are not walking in the spirit, we are in the flesh and the flesh has it's own mind, it's own desire and it's own agenda; as you have discovered.  But don't despair!   If you are willing, for Christ's sake, to give up your old world, old friends and old hang outs, just for a while, God will reward you by removing the 'desire' from you flesh forever and by giving you new friends and a life that draws your old friends closer to the path you're on; the path of righteous living.  I am your evidence!  People will gravitate toward light. 
     MANY of my former gay friends and colleagues have COME OUT of homosexuality!  I do communicate with gays and some former friends but I do so prayerfully and only as they reach out to me for counsel and genuine caring connection.  Many of my old friends and associates came close enough to my path to watch what God is doing in me [and others] and stayed long enough to not want to return to the darkness of their old paths.  Thank you Jesus!  I admit, in the beginning it's a lonely walk, but every great servant of God has had to walk alone with God.  If you are truly called to serve Him, it'll be the same for you.  My dear, it costs, but it pays!!!

Father in the Name of Jesus, 
I thank you for the work that you have begun in my sister.  I praise your Holy name for another soul committed to turning away from sin and to serving you with her whole heart.  I ask now that you strengthen her and build her up in faith.  Lord I cancel the assignment of the enemy who has already set out to confuse her and cause temptation and stumbling blocks in her way.  Satan the Lord rebuke you!  The blood of Jesus Christ covers my sister.  You have no rule over her mind, body or soul.  Father, I pray that you instill an insatiable hunger for your Word in my sister.  Give her a desire to obey your voice even when she does not understand why you are directing her in such a way. Lord Jesus, satisfy the thirsting still within her as you did for the woman at the well.  Allow her now to drop her water bucket and receive your Living water!  Lord Jesus, teach her what it means to die to self and grant her full deliverance from immoral desires in mind and in her flesh.  Father, I pray that you will lead her to a true fellowship of believers who can teach her according to grace and truth, and support her new journey.  I pray Lord that you will FILL her until her cup overflows leaving no room for unbelief, no room for flesh or fantasy but only room for more of you.  Bless her home.  Provide for her every need both naturally and spiritually as you have done for me.  In Jesus' name we pray! Amen.

-Charlene 

Our two sons
Our only children are both living a gay lifestyle. Our oldest now 38 told me several years ago that he had a talk with God and came to an arrangement about his lifestyle. Our youngest son now 33 has been in the lifestyle for about 15 years.  He broke a wonderful girl's heart, who we thought was to be our daughter-in-law.  With that all being said, I was at Sunday School this morning watching Tony Evans daughter.  I love her.  She mentioned your article about how you came to faith in Jesus Christ.  She had your magazine with her with this article. I cried tears of joy for my Precious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ had given me hope.  Hope to see our two sons living the life that we know God has for them.  I just finished sending this article via e-mail to both of our sons. May the Lord continue to bless you and your ministry richly as you life for HIM.  Praise His Name that He remembered mine. 
Blessings to you sister Charlene.

I was so wrong
I am so glad that you overcame this darkness and told your story publicly.  I was a lesbian for 13 years and believed with all my heart that it was right.  I was so wrong.  As the bible say the truth which is the word of God will set you free.  I feel the same way you do about being called to minister his words to save lives.  My mind is being renewed everyday and I have never had so much peace.  I would like to meet you one day because after reading your testimony I feel that we are suppose to cross path to do something big for God.  

Thank You so much,
Jeanette Sewell, Garland, TX

If the Nation only knew
I just wanted to write and touch base with you. I am currently a licensed minister at Christ Church Nashville in Tennessee who stepped away from the lesbian lifestyle 10 years ago. I ran across your testimony many years ago and have followed your story and ministry growth in the Lord for years. I praise God for what He has done in your life and how He is using you in ministry.

I am thrilled about your "Proud to be No Longer Gay" proclamation!  I have felt for years that if the nation only knew of those who live successful lives through Jesus Christ it would make a huge impact on the media, the church and our government.  I stand with you!  I will pray for you and would also appreciate your prayers as I step out into full time ministry to the lesbian population. For more info about the ministry that God has placed in my heart log on to www.comeouttogod.org

Blessings, Martie Rader 
Come Out To God Ministries, Inc.

Hearing the whispers
I am a Christian man, rescued by the grace of God after over 20 years in the gay lifestyle, fully embracing my identity as a gay man. While I am involved in a great Biblical church that has been incredibly supportive and loving through this journey the last 2 1/2 years, I have been somewhat concerned lately, hearing the whispers of the enemy that people involved in the lifestyle as long 
as I was, simply don't change. 

I know of many who have come out ( been redeemed ) after a brief excursion into or even a few years in, the lifestyle, but none who were involved as long as I was. I decided to do a search on the internet for such a story as my own. I was elated to find this testimony of Charlene, who had been redeemed after an even longer time than myself. Like myself, she had been an outspoken advocate of gay rights and politically active. Like myself, she is determined to be as outspoken in her new life as she was in her pre transformation days. Charlene, thanks for sharing this story (yours and His). 

With His love,
Tad 


Obedient to the Spirit
I once lived a life of lesbianism for 7 years and I am grateful that I was obedient to the Spirit. God bless you sister and many blessings to you and the works God will have you do.

Blessings,
Mahogany

100 percent convinced 
I currently represent K.K. Hofeling the author of a book that will be out in the summer months of 2010.  K.K. Hofeling who succumbed (gave in to) to the perverse spirit in the latter part of 1996, at which time he began living and working as a female.  He began hormone therapy, permanent hair removal, attended transsexual therapy groups and in early August of 2000, had sexual re-assignment surgery in Brussels Belgium. Brother K.K. believes to this day that the bastard curse, generational curse and transference of spirits led him down a path of many hurtful lusts ruining two marriages, hurting those he loved and destroying his testimony in the Lord before God and man.  Some would say that he was never really saved.  Read the book and you decide.

In late November of 2000, Brother K.K. had a dream about going to hell.  He awoke and heard the Lord say, “If you do not repent, I have no choice, but to send you there”.  Within a few days he repented, began attending prayer meetings and church services.  After much contemplation, through “scripture, dreams and visions”, Brother K.K. became 100 percent convinced that the Lord wanted him to revert back into Brother K.K, thus; the journey back begins... 
The Book is called " Transsexual Transformed by the Power of God". 
Respectfully in Christ Jesus Anna Marie Rosenberg

Publisher's Note: 100 percent convinced 
Thank you Jesus!  I am so thankful for a witness to the transsexual!  My heart was in such grief just the other day as I watched a man, now living as 'Donna' on CNN news, testifying a lie over the souls of many who will now think this is a normal and logical transformation.  I began to ask God why this lie gets such great publicity? God, where is your witness with the truth?   And here you are!  An answer to prayer!  I pray the blessing of the Lord over your book. I know it will stand as the Evidence that God is still able, even AFTER surgery, to create a NEW MAN of anyone who has taken this dark path.  I do hope to meet you one day.   Praise God for you, Brother K.K.!!

-Charlene


I walked away from my relationship
I wrote a few months ago after I walked away from my relationship, lease of apartment. I haven't gone back but it truly is a struggle.  I wrote the apt. manager and explained and apologized for breaking the lease.  I feel a sense of release and freedom and peace of mind. The enemy has me worried about the lease, court  etc. I try to stay positive. I found myself gambling trying to make up for all the money I have lost in my relationship. I have nothing to show for 36 years in the lifestyle. Please keep me in your prayers.

Publisher's Note:  I walked away from my relationship
You have gained an EXCELLENT knowledge: that when we confess our sins, and obey God's Word, there is true freedom & peace.  Do not be distracted by the enemy's threats concerning breaking the lease and court.  Read and memorize Isaiah 41:10. Get it down in your spirit so you can rest in it. Fear not, for I am with you, Be not dismayed for I AM you God.  I will strengthen you, Yea, I will help you! I will uphold you with my mighty right arm of justice.  Even if you must go to court, I promise you that God will fight for you.  I'm telling what I KNOW, not what I've heard! 

The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:8   I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ.    You have made it out of the wilderness with your mind in tact, with a reasonable portion of health & strength and with a roof over your head.  Many did not.  I know you can think of others who died in the wilderness.  But the Lord has blessed you with a new beginning.  Stop gambling.  When you do this you are saying 'Lord I don't trust YOU to take care of my debts.'   You do NOT need to make up for loss.  Count that as dung. What you perceive as loss is NOTHING compared to the peace and full joy you now access, for the rest of your life in Christ.  Trust in the Lord. Show Him that you trust Him!  Finally, my sister, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might!

-Charlene

I also lived in this lifestyle
I just want to say thanks for what you are doing, I also lived in this lifestyle but was able to break free thanks to the Grace of God. My heart goes out to those who are involved and blind to the truth, so many friends refuse to listen.
Thank you, 
Verna

My own pastor was preaching in an openly gay church
A dear friend and pastor of mine advised me to leave the church I once attended, after I took a S.T.A.N.D for God and finally admitted out of love, that it is against the word of God to live in a homosexual lifestyle.  I received my deliverance 1 day prior to my exile, while my own pastor was preaching in an openly gay church...as I sat listening, she handed the microphone to a man whose name I do not know, but who said in authority these words..."When someone is truly anointed - they can say (NO) to the devil!" That prophet unknowingly said the words that liberated my spirit over my flesh, and broke me out of "my sin" from captivity and bondage... I pray that one day, God will show her and the sheep she tends the light - the truth, as HE showed me... by his word and HIS word alone.

Which is Worse? 
You know the truth 
And yet still, you deny it 
How can you live a lie - live in lie... 
And die void of truth? How long will you settle, 
And remain warm? Is it just that good? 
The sin you choose... 
You say one thing - but do another 
Like the Pharisees and Sadducees' 
Who saw, heard, and witnessed the living Christ... 
Which is Worse? 
Seeing and not believing, 
Or... Seeing and believing, but not living? 
Which is worse?

by Survive - From my Book: Poetry For You...

I want to thank you... 
For having the courage to obey God.  I'm a man of God who Loves those who are and have been ship wrecked by the "Church " Soon I hope as the LORD Leads I'll be leading a flock, but I digress. Many folks and I know cause I've witnessed it on my own and have had close friends that are and where gay and have unfortunately passed on.  The Truth to what you say is currently happening on campuses around the world and yes God is turning the hearts of the children back to the Father and fathers.  He is going to BLESS you! Do you READ ME? BLESS you !!!!  

So many of our so call institutions of higher learning are sabotaging our children - black, yellow, white, brown, red to RELIGION and not reality.  Further more, and I pray you print this, the coaches especially in the women's basketball arena around the U.S. are supporting and perpetuating the culture and extreme and leading it. 

I was in the mall in Detroit, MI and in that particular mall it was rampant. As a father I was sickened because [I realize that] it's some of us men in the industry and sin stricken mindsets who won't father their children and won't get delivered and set free; nor take the time to father some one else's child.  This is not just a women/man issue. You're right that sin is the fault line, however we must get back to doing what God's Word said.

Minister Lynn E. Du Bose, Jr.

Unanswered questions
I have been reading your website about your victory over lesbianism. I am proud to say that I have conquered SSA.  Of course the devil still comes at me with temptations. Nevertheless, I'm still a conqueror.  But there are some unanswered questions that I have about my previous battle with SSA.  There was this girl that I was attracted to. And I believe the feeling was mutual because she would stare at me when I stared at her. During class, she would stare at me the whole time. But she told others that I stared at her, but she was the one that was staring. Why did she do that? Why did she try to make me look bad but she was doing the same thing? I know you know a lot about this area and I feel comfortable asking you.

Publisher's Note: Unanswered questions
The answers you seek are not necessary for your NEW life.  The fact that she has some type of personal character flaw that requires she take the light off herself and throw it on you as the seducer is not relevant. The devil wants you to be distracted from what you SHOULD be focused on now, the WORD of God! 

Don't waste time with old stuff!  God has so much to deposit in you that the enemy is trying to derail your thought life. 

Satan the Lord rebuke you! Take your filthy hands off my sister's thought patterns and imagination. I command you to return to Hell from whence you came and to lose her mind right now.

Sister, you need to WALK in your new found favor!  REDIRECT your own thoughts when the 'why did she stare at me, then tell', thought comes. PURPOSE in your mind that every time this happens you will think on II Corinthians 5:17, each and EVERY TIME!  Say it out loud if you can in that very moment!  'Any man/woman in Christ Jesus is a NEW creature. OLD things have passed away, behold, ALL THINGS are become new!' Thank you Jesus for a NEW mind, New thoughts, New power over my own thoughts. Thank you Jesus for this victory. Amen. 

I don't care if you have to do this 30 times a day!  REDIRECT your OWN mind. Romans 12:2 says it this way, 'be transformed by the renewing of your mind.'

Peace and Blessings

-Charlene

I have a close relationship with two transsexual males 
Both want me to call them, treat, and refer to and about them as woman. I don't feel comfortable doing that so I avoided to get closer and more open with them to avoid the situation. I am their good friend, Christian, and a minister leading them to Jesus. I don't want to close the opportunity to help their way to heaven but I don't want to confuse the message, scandalize somebody, or participate in a deception. At the same time I don't want to hurt them or expose them. I need counseling from a converted perspective...

Publisher's Note: I have a close relationship with two transsexual males 
I know exactly what you are feeling.  When I was in gay life I had a close friend for many years who eventually gave himself completely to a female persona.  He eventually dressed in women's clothes and wanted to be called by his alter ego name 'Whitney' all the time.  I refused even then.  It caused a great riff in our friendship.   I think of him often. Although I have not tried in a couple of years to reach him, I love him and still miss him a great deal.  But he refuses to respond to me because I won't recognize him as a woman.

I know his family history and he knows all of mine.  We met when we were both 18 Years old.  We're now in our fifties.  He made a great living anywhere he was in the world as an exceptional waiter.  High-end restaurant owners often hired him to train their wait staff.  He once traveled as a professional [think Dancing With the Stars] dancer. He once followed me home to New Jersey and moved into my old bedroom at my mother's house  [I had my own place]. He raved over Mom's cooking. My Mother LOVED him!  Very masculine, macho, very personable gay guy.  He even took my elderly aunts out dancing on the weekends!  Anyway, we were extremely close before 'Whitney'.

Now I know that Satan presented this alternate personality as a complete escape from the ugly realities of his past hurts and from being a responsible grown man. When I pray for him now, I curse this growth at it root.  It grew from a funny Halloween idea, to a weekend drag show fantasy, to an everyday life. But it will NEVER bare anything fruitful. He has all the years of brokenness and heartache to prove that this life is no good but he won't admit it.

Also, somewhere inside he has been convinced that he can't UNDO what he has done to 'the man' in him; that he's gone too far, and that his mannerism will never revert to masculinity. Satan is a liar!
II Corinthians 5:17 will make a new creation of anyone who feels they have gone too far.  God has  REALLY long arms!

I'll finish the story about me and my friend in a book.
-Charlene

My wife left me about a year ago  
I been praying for her since day one.  She called me recently. We were married 7 years and we still are.  Last year she told me that she was a lesbian or felt like she was.  She moved in with her partner for a few months but left her.  Now she is in California.  My question is should I divorce or should I wait.

-Carlos, TX

Publisher's Note: My wife left me about a year ago
Carlos, I cannot answer your question.  The only thing I can offer you is hope.  Not, 'I hope she comes home to you', but rather I hope that she will soon arrive at a place where she will commit her life to Jesus Christ, the Hope of glory.  If she is able to commit to what is higher than your relationship, God-the creator of marriage, then all things will flow according to the will of God.

I'm reminded of the story of the Prodigal son, Luke 15:11-32.   The bible says in verse 17 that one day he 'came to himself' and realized that he needed to humble himself and return home to those who truly loved him.  My prayer is that a prophet be sent to speak a Word of life to your wife and that she will come to herself before you decide to move on.  And IF you decide to move on, KNOW that you have done so within the will of God.

-Charlene

Found this ministry to be a BIG blessing 
I've been in a lesbian lifestyle since I was 18yo.  I'm now 40.  I was born again and received Christ when I was 15yo.  Been in and out of relationships/encounters and just this last month rededicated myself to Christ.  There has always been a struggle in my spirit; know it wasn't God's will for my life or anybody else's to be a homosexual; that this would surely damn me to hell.  

I'm doing the best I can now to stay on God's plan for my life.  Started going back to church, reading my bible and praying for strength.  I can do all things through Christ!  I feel lonely a lot of times and I'm learning to recognize that "that" might be an "In road" for enemy to pull me back in. 

I can't go back!  It doesn't work. I want peace and contentment and God has never let me go anyhow! Christ was always on my mind in my heart so complete acceptance of the gay life was not possible. Would you happen to have a book out about your testimony?

Thanks for being a blessing!

Lynn Calderon 
Round Rock, TX

Publisher's Note: Found this ministry to be a BIG blessing
Lynn, I want you to know that you are never alone.  You can't see them but you've got thousands of brothers and sisters via this site and more importantly angels dispatched from heaven who are WITH you at every turn.  I'm asking everyone who is reading this right now to come into agreement with me that Lynn will literally FEEL our love and support and FEEL the arms of heaven's angels wrapped around her.  

We bind any and every attempt by the enemy to attack you and others with being overtaken by loneliness.  We rename this time of being separated from the old and walking alone with God as a Silent Retreat!  What a wonderful time in your lives!!!  People pay thousands of dollars to get what God has given us from obedience.  The opportunity to start again. All that is required is time alone in His presence [the Word of God] to be Remade, Reevaluated, Redirected, Respirited, Redeemed!   Thank You Jesus for our Silent Retreat!

-Charlene
P.S. Yes, I'm working to complete my first book.  Keep me in your prayers that God will impact a life with every stroke of the keyboard.

We all have to be aware of temptation
I wrote once before and had not completely extracted myself from a relationship but, praise God, I have been free and full of the spirit for over a year!  And you know the enemy is always outside waiting to knock on our doors.  There was someone I was interested in when I was in college and tried to add this person to my facebook page a long time ago.  She did not accept my invitation. Then I seriously took the Lord's words into my heart and made this decision.  Well doesn't a facebook message come in right after that asking me to be her friend!  Well had I not been convicted I might have thought something but you know, I just laughed because I knew exactly what was behind it!  We all have to be aware of temptation because the enemy knows our weaknesses. 

I have never been able to truly reconcile my actions with my beliefs.  I really do feel like a burden has been lifted.  And I pray for others who have not made this decision.  I have been in chat rooms with desperate people.  They are desperate for attention, they latch on to strangers and put themselves in danger, they move across the country over and over looking for the love that only Jesus Christ can give them.  It's sad.  And it's sad that they have been deceived into thinking that living that way is what was meant for them and that they were born this way and they have no choice but to live this way. 

I was socialized into thinking that was who I was.  I looked for the things I was missing in other people and when I found it wasn't there I was lost again.  That was not a happy life and I know many, many people who are living in such misery defending something someone told them was true about themselves.  Thank you Jesus for saving a wretched soul like me and bringing us all together in fellowship on this site.

-An Evidence Ministry Follower

I just packed up all of my things and walked away
I truly admire your courage to speak out about how God has changed your life. I too am in the beginning stages of the same transformation that salvation brought to you. I get nervous at times because I just packed up all of my things and walked away from the only life I really knew. I come from an awesome family that wouldn't think of not accepting their "prodigal [daughter]" back home with open arms of love. My father is a preacher and I grew up in the church. I had never really made a personal commitment to God until this past September. I was involved in a great relationship with few problems but I felt the tug of the Lord on my heart. 

I wanted to know if my lifestyle was one that was pleasing to Him. I asked the question and without fail he revealed the truth of His word to me. I cried and thanked God for not giving up on me. I had an enormous decision to make at that point. I made the choice to follow God completely, the same way I was 100% when I was a part of the world.  My mother calls me Pauline sometimes because she said that it was a "road of Damascus" experience like Paul had. Coincidentally he is my favorite biblical author, go figure. I was really feeling the tug of the enemy on my life for some reason today and I began to read your story. I read your article and perused your website. I was tremendously blessed by you today and just had to say thank you. 

I am still a work in progress because often times I find myself crying and I am not sure why but I pray and ask God to please pull me out of my slump and he does. Today your story was the provision that God made to pull me out.  I love my family and they are very supportive (my father is a pastor here in NJ) but at times I feel like they just don't understand the most intimate concerns I have because they were never really a major part of my life while I was in the life. I pushed them away so that I could "do me" and not have to worry about being given suggestions about what I should be doing instead.  Sometimes I have fear that I will always be alone.  

I also am not sure how to deal with my friends because most of them are in the life. Do I stay in touch from NJ to Florida where they are or do I just sever all ties? I don't know if my most recent ex-girlfriend and I can even be friends because she still does not understand. It just gets me down sometimes because I honestly feel like I have no one that really understands where I am coming from and what I am dealing with.  Your story is my story, almost to the letter so I know that you understand. I would love to hear back from you and if you happen to have time to give a little encouragement from time to time and I would love to stay in touch. 

I am alone here in NJ as far as friends go.  My mother is my best friend but I am kind of handling this one alone because even though she tries, she doesn't really get it. Thank you very much for taking the time out of your schedule to read this email and I hope that I will speak back with you soon. Keep up the good work that you are doing to further the kingdom here on earth.  

Brittani Union, NJ

Publisher's Note: I just packed up all of my things and walked away
I thank God for you and send encouragement to your heart, you anointed woman of God! God is saying to tell you that He is preparing you for a profound Kingdom ministry. THAT'S WHY the enemy is trying to discourage you with feelings of isolation and loneliness. He tried the same thing with me but thanks be to God the WORD inside me came to my rescue daily. Brittani, you are heavily anointed of God and therefore much more is required of you during this time of preparation. Some of the prep is NOT comfortable.

1. NO, you cannot be friends with your Ex or old friends right now. Don't let the enemy out-wit you. He is such a liar. He'll tell you, 'Oh its just a call from her...no harm in talking to her!' Then the old feelings enter the silent moments.  And then He lies again, 'Its just dinner and a movie, that's all!'  then you're trading accidental touches. NO! Don't be hoodwinked by a lying demon.  You cannot be friends with your Ex, not right now.  Give the Word time to Work IN you. 

Brittani, you must PROTECT your anointing. ENDURE the alone time.  Every great person who is or ever was used by God has spent time alone in His presence. This is essential for what He has in store for you. 

Father in the name of Jesus, I thank you for my sister Brittani. I bless your name for your promises are true, if we would train up our children in the way they should go, as they grow older, they will not depart from it!  Thank you Lord for her parents who planted the Word of life in this daughter. Thank you that the Word has kept her and convicted her and SAVED and delivered her!  I pray that you strengthen my sister and give her the same courage you commanded of Joshua; to fearlessly enter a new place that you have prepared for her. A holy place where there are new relationships, new friends, and new experiences. Make her journey full of joy and liberty. Send saints of all ages to offer encouragement as you did for me. Open doors and give Britanni the opportunity to share her awesome story and to speak the Words you have already placed in her mouth; that YOU ALONE are ABLE to make NEW creations of any man or woman who says YES to You Lord!  Pour out your oil of joy on Brittani. Give her perfect peace as she learns to keep her mind on You. Amen.

Brit, God says for me to give you two scriptures to memorize immediately.  II Corinthians 5:17 and II Corinthians 10:3-6.  Once you've gotten them down well, touch base with me again. We're working on a ministry project for 2010 but you've GOT to have the Word living in your bones to be involved.

Love, You're Big Sister in Christ!

-Charlene

I need your help and prayer 
I have been dating a guy, he is 22 I am 24.  We broke up, because he is Christian and I am so too.  We both know that what we were doing was wrong, but we never spoke it out to each other.  It was until we talked about that we decided to break up, because we felt too bad in our mind and soul and we wanted to be OK with God.  We broke up, but we are still friends.  We don't see but we still call each other.  It is really hard, because I still have strong feelings for him, and I get jealous.  I still treat him like he was my boyfriend sometimes I insult him for things he does, but it's really because I am jealous and frustrated because I can't be with him.  It is really painful Charlene.  Last night I couldn't sleep because he told me he saw his ex and they are now friends, and I get so angry.  He told me nothing happened between them, but I feel so jealous and full of resentment.  I really don't know what to do, because I appreciate him and I want to be his friend but it is hurting me so bad to try to be just friends. Can you please tell me something Charlene, give your advice please, I am in pain.
Luis Delgado from Venezuela

Publisher's Note: I need your help and prayer
Father, in Jesus' name, you said whatever we bind on earth shall be bound from heaven and whatever we loose on earth shall be loosed from heave. I BIND the spirit of perversion that causes Luis' heart to ache.  I bind the spirit of confusion that causes Luis and his friend to doubt your power to change.  I bind every attack by Satan to destroy the work that you have begun in them.

I loose the spirit of PEACE over Luis right now. Father, I dispatch healing and comforting and guiding angels to Luis right now to be with him in this hour.  Father, cause a Saint of God to come into Luis' path who will personally counsel him and be a HOLY friend in Christ. Cause this person, this man of GOD, to not harm him, but to be worthy of Luis' trust and to teach him and disciple him in your Word.  In Jesus' name Amen.

Luis, I want you to first teach you how to overcome a heavy heart.  I want you to begin to praise God like never before!  Really!   Read Isaiah 61 where God says he will trade your ashes for beauty! And HE will take away your heaviness of heart when you 'put on the garment of praise'. When you where a garment, everyone sees you in it.  That means to not be ashamed to praise your God openly and not feel crazy to praise your God OUT LOUD when you are praising Him privately!  

If you will Praise the Lord that way every time you feel that heaviness I PROMISE you it will lift.

Thank you Jesus!  I praise Your Holy Name!  I worship You!  You are great and mighty! Lord Jesus, there is none like you!  I will lift up your name everywhere I go!  I will sing of your glory!  I will cry out loud how wonderful you are to me!  You alone have kept me when I could not keep myself! Your grace, is my undeserved favor!  Your love is purely amazing!  Your mercy has kept me from harm! Thank you Jesus!!!  YOU are my best friend!  YOU are the love of my life!  Thank You Jesus!!! 

This is an example of praising God but it must come, not just from your lips, but from your heart!  Until your 'Praise' matures, you might feel funny at first or a bit dry in spirit but DON'T STOP!  Don't allow the enemy to block your praise!  The devil knows what praise can do, [lift the heaviness in your heart] and this is the last thing he wants you to learn to do.  The devil wants you to become depressed and suicidal but VICTORY over all emotional disturbance, including 'breaking up',  IS IN YOUR PRAISE!!!!    

Lastly, Luis, I know that you and your friend had 'the talk' about sin, and I know that conviction fell on you both and it brought you to a place where you made a decision to pull back from sin but it sounds like you stopped short of the most important step; True repentance.  You must be willing to not just pull back from sin but to TURN from it.  Complete surrender to Jesus Christ means your willingness to release all that you believed is a treasure, even your desire for friendship with your ex.  Not right now.  You must allow the spirit of the living God to wash you, cleanse you, teach you and strengthen you before you can even think of becoming friends with him or anyone else who triggers temptation in you.  

I'm no different than you in that sense.  I asked God to make Himself real to me and if He would save me from mySELF, this SELF that I had created over the years and was now trapped in, that if He would do this in me that I would give up anyone and anything in my life He ask me to and He DID ask me to give up my lover and old friends.  He asked me to start from scratch, walking with Him alone.  I admit that I felt lonesome sometimes, but our Father KNOWS what our needs are.  Each time I experienced a bout with feeling isolated He would send a FLOOD of encouragement from Saints of God or He would have a person call me out of no where to say, ' I gave God my heart last night after reading your story!'  What  loving God we serve!

He was teaching me that if I would go through the thing I believed to be 'suffering' that there is great reward for it, according to HIS will and timing.  I was so used to being surrounded by loads of people that I thought that being alone was 'suffering'.   As my Praise began to mature, I learned to LOVE my alone time with God!  [Which of course means I had grown to a new level in HIM which introduces a NEW kind of suffering.]  Luis, the one thing I regret is not giving up sooner!  Walking with Jesus is a WONDERFUL thing and best of all, an eternal thing!   

My question for you, Luis, is are now you willing to give up ALL for God KNOWING that the BEST is yet to come?

I'll write more soon. I love you. 
Your sister in Christ, -Charlene

HIS PROVISIONS are perfect and best
Although I am not gay, I just wanted you to know your article was read and enjoyed and I wanted to encourage you today to continue to just grow in your precious walk with the Lord!!

I am a mom of six kids, homeschool, and just yesterday sat in on a class at our "co-op" in which the high schoolers were having an official debate on homosexuality. After the debate, I thought of your article that my hairdresser had randomly told me about.  I told the students I would look up your article and forward it to them.  I will be forwarding your article to them.

Thank you for being bold!!  Thank you for being willing to LOSE IT ALL if it came to that because you KNOW the great PEACE of God and you know HIS PROVISIONS are perfect and best, and that LIVING HIS WAY are the most joyful of all.

Interestingly (at least to me), I taught school years ago and one of my former 2nd grade students found me on Facebook. She is now 30 years old. She came last night and I had a great time catching up with her. Precious!! She mentioned a student in my class that year who is gay. Who knows, maybe I will have a chance to use YOUR article and YOUR testimony in sharing Christ with him. His name is Quantez. Please pray for him.  Isn't God good.

Praying for YOU and YOUR ministry right now.

Rhonda 

My relationship with God had become superficial
Greetings in the name of Jesus Christ! My name is Brian in Washington State. I just came across your website and made a renewed commitment to follow Jesus. I received Christ in my early 20s when I was at the point of suicide (the delayed effect of a deeply traumatic childhood). But for years afterwards I battled strong homosexual feelings. Eventually I stopped trying to resist and just gave in. Reading your testimony gives me hope that God has not abandoned me and the change IS possible.

I had still been attending church but my relationship with God had become superficial. I felt totally hopeless. I knew I was living a lie but I couldn't seem to do anything about it. About a year ago a guest speaker (a pastor of an African-American church) visited my church. I was sitting on the end of a row of about 9 other men. In the middle of the speaker's message, he stopped talking, walked up to me in front of everyone, and said "Brother, Satan is doing everything he can to destroy you. He hates you so much that he'd pass by every man on this row just to get to you." He repeated it at least twice more before he went on with his message.

I don't know what that really meant but I've never forgotten it. I'm determined from this day on to live for Christ with all I have, no matter where He leads me. I've always had a strong interest in evangelism, especially in other countries. Since I'm of Mexican and Irish parentage, and a dual citizen (Ireland and USA), that could be where God wants me focused. But no matter what, I wanted to let someone know that I've renewed my covenant with Jesus Christ. I'm so glad I found your website!

-Brian

Publisher's Note: My relationship with God had become superficial
Praise God Brian!  Angels are dancing in heaven over your renewed commitment to Jesus. We're all having a spirit-filled party just because you said YES to the Lord!! My soul is rejoicing!  I want you to know that I HEARD you with my spirit's ear.  I KNOW your commitment is real because I felt the EXACT same way on the day I surrendered to Christ. I just HAD to immediately tell someone that I had given all to Jesus Christ and not only that, I had to tell someone whom I KNEW understood what committing to Christ meant.  So I drove to the home of an elderly mother of the church where I grew up.  I KNEW this women understood what being sold-out to Christ was about. She HEARD me and we celebrated that day, right there in her back yard! God is so good.

Brian, get in the Word of God like never before. You need to be discipled; taught the Word through memorization, study w/ prayer and meditation in order for it to sink into the very marrow of your bones. Then, once you've [suffered] enough God can use you greatly on the platform He is showing you. He will not release you until you have shown yourself approved unto Him. So get to work! 

Love, Your Sister in Christ 
Charlene

I am a mature Christian single... 
...who loves the Lord and has remained sexually pure despite quite prolonged seasons of being attracted to specific women. I kept the struggle to myself and finally shared it with my sister (also a Christian) and a deacon's wife in Scotland where I once lived.  I was in a Bible Study this evening called 'Anointed, Transformed and Redeemed' and Priscilla Shirer mentioned your story so I took a look at your website.  I have never acted on my feelings or made them known (thankfully) to the women in question and at one point I found my mind would just be focused too much on them and not enough on Jesus.  I feel as is this last cycle on being infatuated with the wrong person is over and the Lord has set me free.  Just 3 months ago I wondered if I had somehow missed out on not expressing my feelings and reading your story of how lonely active gay women are made me realize that was also a lie!

I want to thank you for your web-site and may the Lord continue to give you His grace and anointing to bring many to Him!!   I do believe that marriage is something I can hope for and yet am very content just now just me and the Lord - being busy sharing about Him to all I know!

God Bless and thanks!

Something was lacking in their teaching
I'm a Christian art student from Scandinavia. Today I was tempted once again to compromise on the gay way, when I came across to your website through a Finnish TV channel via the Internet. (I NEVER watch TV, so this was quite a surprise) It has been too easy to sink into the lie of 'christian lesbianism', though it has never given me true joy, the kind of pure happiness only Jesus may give us.

I guess someone has been praying for me, for I've started to read the Bible and to pray more seriously than I have ever done. I suddenly feel a strong reluctance toward 'the World', and I've found a joy I have not felt for a long time.  I also find I have a NEED to spend time with God and his word. A renewal is starting to take place within!

I come from a devoted Christian home, but there was a time I wanted to search for my own God on my own. I let go of my parents' teachings and had a look at the world for myself.. and so doing I made a wreck of myself.  My student years have been a search for something Greater, but I wanted to believe the World had the power to ease my pain, only if I searched hard enough. One day a few years ago I came happily out and discovered that all my miseries were actually caused by not accepting my true sexual identity.  I'd had some difficult relationships with men, including my father, so I was relieved to understand that I could leave men behind.  I have actually had an eye for women as from quite an early age, so I assumed... 

It felt it very pleasing to find a community of gay christians, and I even attended a church here in Helsinki.  Yet something was lacking in their teaching.  It seemed as if they weren't filled with happiness and the peace of God which I longed for.  They seemed somehow angry or frightened deep down somewhere.  This might be a result of not having given everything to God and choosing the way of obedience to His word.  To cut a long story short, it took years of loneliness, years of therapy and self hatred [before I found] Christ again.  Why hadn't I found him before?  I didn't have the courage to give all of myself to him, including my sins, my guilt and sicknesses.  I listened to all sorts of doubts (lies), but was never contented; 'you haven't yet met the lady of [your] dreams', and that 'maybe it's better not to give everything you have to Christ, at least not yet..' 'If you follow Christ, you'll just end up a miserable self-denier in the world full of happy gay christians'.

I'm in the middle of some spiritual war, so I believe.  It seems as though time is running out and some spirit has a terrible hurry to mislead all young people, especially Christians, AWAY from the truth of the Bible.  There's no other way than that of Christ, and that is my joy and my burden, for it is not easy to follow Christ, even though He pours joy and love into my heart.  I am tempted to think, that I might not endure, and might end up living as other 'Christians' do.  I need help in this battle!

.... so this is why I wanted to send a message to thank you for the important work you do.  You gave hope and new strength to me, and just in the right timing!  I must admit that I had almost lost all hope.  I thought Satan will just gobble us up, and that no-one cares to fight for sexual purity. Thank you for being faithful to Christ!  Christ gives us hope, he gives us life.  We must help one another keep faith ...and to endlessly pray for one another!

--Mirjami

For the first time in my life
I´m from Germany and here we don't have much support for those who wanna leave the lifestyle, first i have to apologize my English isn't the best but i hope you can understand me.
I'm 23 and i had a rough past my father wasn't there and my mother was abusive and mental ill, that destroyed me, i was so broken inside and alone. I never was a believer in god but i wanted to leave my homosexual feelings behind. No matter where i searched everywhere people teached me that i was born this way and a change was impossible. Then i found organizations about change but i don't know, i didn't believed this people either and then somehow i found your story and for the first time in my life i felt free, i thought this women is real she was there she was proud of it but she changed your story is a blessing for me, maybe you heard that a thousand times before but i just wanna thank you, thanks for having the courage to step up and be who you were meant to be and to help others like me. Through your words i found God, the greatest love i ever felt. For the first time in my life i have the courage to change because i know it's possible. there is a strong woman out there who was once at my place.

God Bless Your Work

Judgmental
A friend of mine is 17 years old and has been in a relationship with a female for 2 years now. She says that she wants to marry this girl.  She's also a Christian who says that she believes in Gods Word, but doesn't believe that she will go to Hell for being gay.  Her mom is also a Christian and has been praying for her daughter ever since she came out to her.  I just feel for my friend.  She's been in past relationships with guys and they've never worked out, but when she met this girl it's like she's met her soul mate.  She just doesn't want to give her up.  I really believe that she is looking for love and she feels as if she's found it through her girlfriend.  She and I have gotten into arguments over homosexuality; I said that if she continues to live that lifestyle she'll end up in Hell. Since then she and I haven't been as close as we were.  All she says is that I'm judging her for being gay, and maybe what I said did come off as judgmental, but the Lord knows that I didn't mean for it to come off that way.  I also believe that I was in the wrong because at the time I wasn't living a Christian lifestyle, so I had no right to tell her about [herself].  Right now I'm trying to get my life on track and I would love for her to also.  

Publisher's Note: Judgmental
Your friend is confused. She is experiencing co-dependency which only feels like love. Something important went missing within her emotional makeup and now she seeks to fill that space with the extreme loving attention she receives from this relationship. It feels great but it is definitely outside of the will and design of God. And guess what, she KNOWS this. Thank you for being brave enough to share the truth about heaven and hell with your friend.

We all have areas in our lives that need to be covered by the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ. But the fact that you were able to share the truth with her, you did that out of love for her. You are not judging her, the WORD of God is judging her.  Hebrews 4:12 says that the WORD of God is sharper than a double edged sword. God used you and what you spoke made her feel uncomfortable because the Word cut into the lie she is telling herself.

Fear not.  Please share with her mother that no matter what behavior she sees in her daughter, truth will prevail. The truth in me would not die, would not let me sleep good at night, would not let me even have sex in peace. I don't care how happy your friend seems, there is emptiness within her.  Her seemingly great joy will turn into agony when reality sets in: 'my lover cannot satisfy the longing in my soul.'  For me, this silent agony came during a 10 year, supposedly 'happy', relationship with my 'soul mate'.

-Charlene E. Cothran

May many respond to the revelation and truth you have received. 
I, myself, am not gay, nor have ever been, but have had many gay people in my life. I've seen the heartache that seems to surround them. I pray that they will come to know the Lord Jesus as Savior one day and be delivered from their lifestyle. May God bless you richly as you minister to the gay community. May you be encouraged daily by the Presence of our Lord and Savior, by His Word and by other Christians coming around you with love and support. I will uphold you in prayer as the Lord prompts my spirit to do so. I am grateful for you. 

Be of good courage, 
Sandy Shaub (PA)

Let’s reason together
We have 3 children, a 20 yr old girl, 18 yr old boy and 16 yr old girl. Both my wife and I are Christians and have been from before being married to now. We recently discovered that our 16 yr old is stating she is gay and has been going out with other girls.

We have a normal family life, and there has been no sexual abuse that we are aware of. Our kids have been raised to voice their opinions and to push the envelope as it were so I am pretty confident that nothing has happened to any of my kids as they would certainly voice it, but who knows there is always the possibility.

In addition we have taken guardianship of a 15 yr old boy into our home recently (Feb/09) who is gay and very outwardly obvious. My daughter had these relationships/desires before he arrived so he is not the initial influencer, I just provide this family dynamic for your information. However being very much settled in his lifestyle I am certain he is pushing his agenda and lending strong support to her. Also their circle of friends are gay or gay supportive at high school.

My daughter is extremely intelligent and a talented artist, recently away at an animation college summer program where this lifestyle would also get an easy endorsement.

All that being said, my wife and I plan to shortly address this with her and obviously want to deal with this in the correct way, certainly not in a legalistic/fundamentalist way however in a bible based, prayer focused, God example “let’s reason together” way. However this is completely foreign to us and we are in uncharted water. My daughter being extremely intelligent poses somewhat of a challenge but it is also a benefit. She does have a heart that is soft to God, but obviously has made this type of decision in her life. How should we approach this, what advice can you give.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

They deserve better
Charlene, Really enjoyed your satirical interview about the Gay Agenda. You've got a great future as a comedienne. (actually you are one already).

As long as you realize that no one takes the nonsense or lies you spew seriously, knock yourself out.   Just don't hurt our Black Lesbian and Gay sisters and brothers. 

They deserve better from you.

Rev. Mark

Publisher's Note: They deserve better
Rev. Mark, I'm actually flattered that you think I'm a fine comedienne. It's an art to be able to deliver a line effectively, in the right timing.  In my case, its a calling and this is my perfectly timed season.

If you truly believed that no one takes this ministry seriously you wouldn't be writing me, nor would you consider the message we share as 'hurtful' to gays and lesbians.

Lastly, our brothers and sister deserve the TRUTH about what God intended, about what God can do to change their lives and about the consequences involved in ignoring God's commands. 

Rev. Mark, they deserve better from YOU. We're praying, now, that God will open your eyes.

If God were to call you today, can you honestly say that you are ready to give an account for the souls you've led? Their blood is required on your hands. Rev. Mark, I thought I was living out my calling back then but that was not my real life, my eternal life.  I was a walking dead person and a mouth piece for a foul and perverse spirit.  Now Christ lives within and I'm alive only because of HIM!   I am now living my real life!  How can I not share this wonderful transforming power with the people I love? [...We love.]

Rev. Mark, He's got such plans for YOUR real life and ministry. YOU are in a greater position than I am, if you would simply change direction, 180.  It's not too late. Obedience is key. God wants to get such glory out of YOUR life, your skills, your training, your influence and use YOU to lead our brothers and sisters OUT of anything that doesn't please Him.

Still your sister,
-Charlene

When God delivered me it was a done deal
I was in the Life for a few years. I am 30 now & God has totally set me free! I am not ashamed... [but] the sad part is [that] I was in the church and still doing what I knew was wrong… But I had a praying mother [who] did not pray for me to be straight but she prayed for me to be delivered, and when God delivered me it was a done deal! Every soul tie, every ungodly thought was taken away… Just wanted to share a piece of my testimony.

Brother J.  

Some days are better than others
This is such a battle. I need your prayers. I finally walked out (2) weeks ago, and haven't look back. I have asked her not to call me. She called in any event. I just have to realize that I'm better than this, and I have a purpose in God's eyes. There has to be more to living than this lifestyle. It has been 35 years with nothing to show but broken promises and a broken heart. I have lost so much, and I'm trying to hold on to the last bit of me. Please keep me in your prayers.

Publisher's Note: Some days are better than others
Father in the Name of Jesus, I ask you to strengthen my sister right now.  Increase her faith.  Let her know that she is NEVER alone.  Allow my sister to truly understand how much you love her. Let her feel your presence all around her.  Heal her broken heart and lift up her head.  Lord fill her with all the fullness of your Word as she searches the scriptures.  Speak words of wisdom and knowledge through people you have placed in her path to help her to see you more clearly.  Let her know that there is no need to struggle in her flesh; because you have already nailed her 'struggle' to the cross.  Thank you for salvation.  Now show my sister that you are a KEEPER of all who stay focused on obeying your Word.  Lord, only you know that thoughts and the plans you have for her.  Reveal your purpose to my sister as she seeks your face worship and prayer.  Teach her that she must release that last bit of herself to YOU.  As she surrenders completely to your will, reward her with your promises!

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
-Charlene

He too has since been set free
The power of Jesus to redeem the worst of sinners is real!  I know because it happened to me. For quite a while I felt that I must be one of the very few to have experienced this awesome transformation.  Then one day a gay friend of mine that still spoke to me gave me a copy of some information that he found on your website.  Even though he felt my new life was just "all in my head" and that no actual transformation had occurred he too has since been set free from bondage and the lies of the adversary!  I believe the Lord Jesus has a plan for me to go back to the place that I came from with a message of real love, freedom and life...the life, freedom and love only He can give.  Thank you for faithfully proclaiming the truth in love. I hope and pray that our Lord Jesus will open the blind eyes and heal the deaf ears of those who are receiving your message but still clinging to their gay lifestyle.  It simply is not worth missing out on a real eternal relationship with the King of Kings.  God bless you.
Your sister in Christ,
Debbie Beck 
Maui, Hawaii

I made Him the Lord of my life
I don't know how I ran across your announcement, but the fact of the matter is - I did!.. I was NOT expecting the text to go in the direction it went in!  You made the same choice I made 20 years ago!  God began hunting me down when I was about 30 years old and I tried to run and hide but He wanted me bad! He made me so miserable living as a lesbian.... before long I gave in and accepted that Jesus Christ had died for my sins and I made Him the Lord of my life and dedicated myself and my life to advancing His Kingdom.
-Stacy

Publisher's Note: I made Him the Lord of my life
Making Him Lord of our lives is what healed us!  Keep on lifting Jesus up!
-Charlene

I was living a lie 
Please ..pls. place me amongst your top friends.. I intend to use my testimony of how God redeemed me.. Saved me..and Freed me from the dark world of homosexuality.. ex-drag queen, prostitute, drug addiction.. perversity and immorality.. Yayyy!.. been back to serving our Lord for about 8 or 9 years now.. 'I was living a lie.. God opened my eyes.. to see with brand new eyes.. no more suicide attempts on my part.. God intervened ea. and every time ( in a devine way ).. :*-) Blessed be the name of Our Lord!!.. 'Jesus is Lord!.. GBY, my wonderful sister Charlene.. Jeffry

P.S. I am of Puerto Rican desent.. tho, I look like I am Anglo.. hahahahahahahaa.. 

Publisher's Note: I was living a lie
You're the EVIDENCE of God's changing power!  Any friend of God's is a friend of mine!!!  I speak blessings over your every move, my FREEeur Rican brother!

-Charlene

I get so lonely 
I'm emailing to ask for prayer that God would help me to come out of lesbianism completely.  I'm not looking for judgment, just prayer.  God has been really patient with me and he's bringing me out, but I'm still having problems with possessiveness and attachments (co-dependency) at times.  I have no more gay friends and left all the online gay groups that I was in.  It's just me and God now but at times I get so lonely and think, "If only I could have just one more woman to show how much she cares."  I have met a few straight friends but felt like I sabotaged the relationship because of this problem.  I hurt and the pain runs deep.  Please remember me in your prayers.
 
Thank you,
Sherise

Publisher's Note: I get so lonely
Father in the name of Jesus, I come into agreement with my sister Sherise as she seeks you for her complete deliverance.  Father I ask you to speak, by your Word, into her spirit and curse the spirit of perversion at the very root of her psyche where it lives.  Dry it up as you did the fig tree that bore no fruit.  I ask that you enlarge Sherise's faith in you and that you increase her hunger for your Word.  Lord, when she seeks you in the Word and in prayer, Father I pray that you manifest yourself to her in such a REAL way that she can actually feel change taking place. Allow her to KNOW that co-dependency leaves as her dependency on YOU alone increases.  Teach her how to trust you.  Teach her how to lean on you and rest in you during this alone time, as you did for me.  Teach her that this time of walking alone is just a season and that she will not be alone always.  Teach her that every great man and woman of God walked alone for a season once they met you, my Savior.  Reassure her heart and let her know that she is exactly where should should be, but she must trust you.  Teach her how to use the weapons of spiritual warfare; your Word to FIGHT the enemy of her soul.  Teach my sister's heart to REBUKE Satan each time he speaks to her spirit.

"Satan, the LORD rebuke you!  The blood of Jesus Christ stands against you!  I am a new creature in Christ.  Old things have passed away.  All things have become new!" [II Cor. 5:17]

Allow a peace to flood her soul as she rests in being alone with you. When she feels overwhelmed, send saints of God to minister to her needs as you did for me.  Give her glimpses of her true purpose in your kingdom; that you have thoughts and plans for her life, Jeremiah 29:11, thoughts of peaces, not of evil, to bring her to an expected end.  Give her a glimpse of this beautiful place that you expect for her to reach in you.  

In Jesus' Name we pray, Amen.

-Charlene

My heart is broken
My son was struggling with how to tell us he was gay. He had become distant and unhappy. On the way home from a weekend trip I asked him what was bothering him. I could tell he wanted to talk but then didn't, so I told him what I thought it was, his sexuality. That opened up the door for him to talk and I could tell he was relieved to have his secret out in the open.

He grew up as a Christian and recommitted his childhood commitment as an adult. He has prayed countless nights God would remove these desires, but He didn't. Now Charlene he is in New York City and has decided if his sexuality is normal and not a sin, then God's word has to be flawed. He told me on our last trip in an Astoria restaurant that he didn't think Jesus was the way.

I know this is caused by his need to reconcile the way he feels with the truth he had known all of his life. I pray every day God will change his heart. I don't know what to do as a mother. I feel a tremendous need to protect my son, but I don't know how. He's not a little boy any longer and he lives in a world where everything wrong is now right.

I first heard about you and your magazine when I was sitting in a Sunday School room on a Tuesday afternoon going through a bible study about David. We were watching a video led by Priscilla Shirer and she told us about your story. My heart immediately thought there is hope. Please help me. Tell me what to do, what to say. Do you have any contacts in the New York area that could help him? If I were just talking about a lifestyle that would cause my son pain I could deal with the consequences of his decision, but now I feel I am talking about his soul.

My heart is broken. Please pray about this. If God is not leading you to help then it wouldn't be the right thing if you did, but God has impressed on my heart to send this email. Please help if you can.


Publisher's Note: My heart is broken
I received your letter this morning and feel the pain you are carrying. I want to share a word of encouragement with you. It is no accident that you came upon my story. God is saying to you to rest in HIM.  Hope is present, even in this very moment. Know that God is in control of the situation. My own mother nearly gave up all hope as she looked at me for the last time and said, 'I don't believe I will ever see you again.' That the last time I saw her alive. BUT GOD answered her prayers even after she had gone to heaven. I now stand as the evidence that a mother's prayers are precious to God. God is telling me to let you know HE HEARS you and your son cannot escape the loving protection of our God even as he trays. HE WILL RETURN to the cross of Jesus Christ and proclaim that Jesus is the one and only true and living God. We will pray that this happens sooner rather than later.

You mentioned that your son prayed for God to take the gay away but He didn't. This is an error in understanding how God operates. We must submit ourselves to His WORD. Once we're done praying, we must DO the Word of God. The Word living in us is what makes change happen.  The prayer for complete repentance is heard instantly because that person is giving their complete selves over to God for His use. That's what happened in me. I was instantly delivered. I was NOT praying for God is simply remove the lesbianism [so that I could then go on with my sinful ways, but now doing it with men.] Do you understand? I prayed for God to forgive me of all my sins and promised Him that I would serve Him completely, no sex with anyone outside of marriage. I submit my every thought to Him. The enemy of my soul would try to tear apart my testimony if he could but I daily cast down every thought unlike God. If your son had not made that level of commitment, how could he expect to see change from God? Obedience brings change. Not just prayer.

What I want to say to you is to keep loving your son. Keep in close contact with him. This is going to be somewhat painful for you because your son will want to share all kinds of new experiences with you, hoping for you to be happy for him. Its perfectly OK for you to let him know that you LOVE him however you cannot support his choices. Be kind and loving to his friends. They may never have met anyone who is a true believer. God will use YOU in the most unexpected ways to minister to them at times. Then one day, when God has prepared the ground of his heart, your son will hear the voice of Lord say 'come home my son.' Until then, we will keep him covered in prayer. Pray the Psalms 91 that God will protect your son while he wanders.

As far as help in NY, I no longer refer to psychological agencies offering reparative therapy. I believe that a person MUST make Jesus their LORD in order for change to happen. Then once Christ has been firmly established, therapy is a wonderful addition to a Christian's walk, but it should NEVER take 1st place or center stage in the life of a believer or anyone's life for that matter. What I would look for is support for yourself in a parent group in NC. Many parents have experienced the same and are willing to share with you in a group setting.  If you can't find one, start one.

Father in the Name of Jesus touch this loving mother. Let something that we've said uplift and strengthen her. We pray the prayer of protection over her son, that your wings would cover him. You said in your Word that there is no creature hidden from your sight. You know exactly where he is at all times. You know exactly what has entered into his belief system. We curse the lie that her son has believed and command that it dry up at the root. We pray that you would open his blinded eyes and cause him to come to himself. Lord when he returns we will welcome him with open arms and have such a grand party, knowing that you will use this experience in his life to lead others to you Lord, just as you've done in me. Let this mother rest in you knowing that all things work together for your good. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen and God bless.

Allow the Holy Spirit the freedom to work in their lives
Thank you for the wonderful article you wrote in your magazine about what God has done in your life!  My heart jumped in me and I was greatly encouraged, because at this time my daughter is living the gay lifestyle. She was raised in a Christian home, albeit one without a dad, as my husband left when my children were 2, 4 and 8 years old. I remember agonizing through the kids’ growing up years about what I should do to keep my boys from turning toward a homosexual lifestyle…but not once did I think to give thought to my daughter leaning that way. It was something seemingly not even a reality thirty years ago.

I believe a girl needs her daddy’s adoration, attention and approval…and that without the presence of those in her life, her opinion of herself as a woman is affected and damaged. Also, my daughter tended to be on the shy side, and coupled with a weight struggle, I believe she found it easier to shift to the media’s endorsement of the gay lifestyle as both acceptable and simply her “choice”.

My daughter is currently “married”, although she understands and respects that I cannot accept her relationship as a true marriage. However, I realize that my responsibility is not to preach to them, or to send them things to read or watch or listen to that would preach to them (as she already well knows what God feels/says about her lifestyle). My responsibility is simply to pray for them and love them, and allow the Holy Spirit the freedom to work in their lives and hearts as He sees fit. My daughter and I have a precious and loving relationship; and in fact, I also adore her partner and recognize that she too has experienced hurt and disappointment that led her into that lifestyle.

I strongly believe that God yearns to do a redeeming work in their lives, and I pray that they will allow Him the access and freedom to do so. But as things in the world careen toward what can only be the imminent return of the Lord, my heart aches to think of her spending eternity in hell. Hearing about and then reading your story give me much encouragement. All the days are not yet in…and God is not yet finished with His little daughter. My heart’s cry is that someday she will be able to claim that she too has been redeemed!!

I’m sure your decision to become a Christ-follower brought about much derision and “grief” in your life…I respect and honor you for the courage and commitment you showed in doing so! Please be assured that God is using you not only to bring encouragement to parents like me, but more important, to speak into the lives of women who have been and will become changed for the Kingdom and for eternity!

God bless you, and continue to make you a blessing!
-A Loving Parent.

Publisher's Note: Allow the Holy Spirit the freedom to work in their lives
Your response to your daughter and her partner is so Christ like I had to publish your loving letter to the benefit of the many parents who are looking for direction and hope.  By loving your daughter and being warm and open to her partner, you are preparing to win them BOTH!  God is using you, mother, to show that the light and power that you have within is a more brilliant light than they have ever seen before.  They may not acknowledge it yet but they do notice that the peace/joy/love/patience you have is different than what they call peace.   

I do want you to pray for an opportunity to witness to the both of them about their lives.  Fear of losing the quality of your relationship may cause you to shrink from open opportunities to share a Word with one or both of them about eternal life.  SOMEONE has got to tell them the truth, even though they may have heard it before.  Pray that someone will cross their path, or that God will give YOU an open door at a time when the ground [their heart] has been prepared.  Many things happen to prep the heart for a God's truth.  Look for the open door.  I do remember a time when I really did hope for some Christian to share with me about turning from sin, but I guess everyone wanted to not preach at me because they thought I was truly happy inside.  I was not.
I'm praying with you.

-Charlene

I repented and decided to follow Jesus - Heather's Testimony!
I have to say that I was very blessed by your testimony.  My Aunt brought your web site to my attention because I have a heart and passion for serving the LGBT community and have been looking for a ministry that served that community. I have gone to a couple of other well known ministries that worked with them but they are really based on psychology. They either have never contacted me back or they have told me that when I was “healed” then maybe someday I can come and be a part of their ministry. I often walked away very confused. Mainly because I believed that I was new creation in Christ and that old things had passed away once I repented and decided to follow Jesus. Anyway, please excuse my rambling; I originally wanted to write to you because I wanted to share my testimony/miracle with you. 

It is hard to know where to begin but I will just start off by saying Jesus is so GOOD!!!! When I was 20 I enlisted in to the United States Navy. In February 2000, I met a man in my squadron and in November 2000 we decided to get married. I soon learned that we were going to be deployed in March of 2001 and that we could not go together. I was more of an asset, so the Navy decided that he would be staying home on home guard. To make a long story short, while I was away he decided that he wasn't finished "playing the field". He wrote me an email 3 weeks before we were to arrive back home and asked me to call him. When I was finally able to call him he told me that he had been unfaithful and that he wanted to tell me himself because he didn’t want me to find out from someone else. I was absolutely furious! I had so many feelings going through me at times I wasn’t sure what was up and what was down.

After about a week had passed I started regretting ever marrying him. In my mind I was telling myself I should have just gone with the feelings that I had always had for women. I knew that one of my co-workers was a lesbian and I decided to pursue her. Our relationship had grown and in the midst of getting a divorce, finding a new place to live, telling my family I was no longer going to be with men, we maintained a relationship for over a year. I lived in the homosexual lifestyle for about 6 years. Most of that time consisted of A LOT of heart ache. I wasn’t happy but I thought that’s who I was. About four years after I had been in the lifestyle I got in contact with an Aunt and uncle that I hadn’t talked to since I was in 9th grade. They are bible believing Christians and they worked with me for over 2 years. They talked to me about scripture, they prayed for me but most importantly, they asked me questions. Questions as to why I believed I was a homosexual. In the beginning I was able to answer them with what I thought, but the more we talked about it and talked about what God’s Word says the less I was able to answer that particular question. There is NOTHING in God’s Word that supports homosexuality. 

In the midst of talking to my aunt and uncle I was also taking what I was learning to a woman that I was dating at the time. She would tell me that she believed that what she was doing was against God and it was sin but that there was nothing we could do about it. We couldn’t help the way we feel. The more we talked the more I realized that it wasn’t what we felt that mattered it was whether we were obedient to the God of the Bible. So on the evening of October 17th, 2006 my uncle prayed with me and I became a born-again believer and follower of Jesus Christ. And that was the beginning of the real battle/victory…I told the woman that I was dating that we couldn’t hav e that kind of relationship anymore because I was a Christian. She was incredibly upset with me and we didn’t talk for about a week. Finally she called me and told me that she stood behind me in my decision and that she still wanted to be friends and continue to talk. I agreed and was filled with joy that God was giving me someone that I could minister to. When I was talking with her, Holy Spirit was with me at every moment. I didn’t know my bible all that well yet, but from all the talks that I had with my aunt and uncle I knew what I wanted to tell her. Holy Spirit would guide my fingers through scripture so I was able to find the exact addresses! It was so exciting! 

About 2 months later after talking to her she asked me to pray with her so that she could repent and make things right with our Lord. I was so excited and so nervous I hardly knew what to do! I had never prayed with anyone before and I didn’t know how to pray that kind of prayer. But again my unfailing Savior was there with me that night and I was able to lead her through a prayer of repentance and faith. So also in that time when I first became a Christian and I was ministering to my friend I was also struggling with thoughts. It was horrible! I would be in church and I would start to think about sex and images of naked women would pop into my head. I would get really angry and there were times where I just wanted to walk out of church because I hated that I was having these thoughts enter into my head. I couldn’t even pay attention to what my pastor was saying on the pulpit. It was very aggravating. 

Then I came across a verse in the bible that talked about meditating in the Word. It is: Psalms 4:3-5 'But know that the Lord has set apart for Himself him who is godly; The Lord will hear when I call to Him. Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And put your trust in the Lord.'  From then on whenever those thought s or feelings came I would pray and read God’s Word to push out the sinful thoughts. Scripture says to keep every thought captive and honestly there is no better way than God’s written word. I want to say that it took about 3-5 months to be fully free from those thoughts and feelings and I am so thankful to Jesus for helping me through it and giving me that miracle. I couldn’t have done it without Him.

I pray for my friends and all those that are in that lifestyle, that the Lord opens their eyes and especially their hearts to hear Him calling to them and also to those that have left the gay lifestyle, that they continue to seek God for all their strength. I am thankful for the people that He has brought into my life that have supported me and I hope that you will be able to use my testimony in your ministry and I will be praying for your ministry daily, I thank God for your strength. 

God Bless! Heather

Publisher's Note: I repented and decided to follow Jesus
The truth in your words rings like a bell!  Keep letting your light shine my sister.  I don't normally post long testimonies here but your testimony is going to bless so many people who come here daily searching for what you and I have found; peace through repentance, obedience to God's Word and learning how to USE GOD'S WORD to fight when we come under spiritual attack!

Your Sister in Christ
-Charlene E. Cothran

Close to despair
i think only 2 days ago i discovered your magazine and i felt truly unraveled. i must say i am 19 years old and that since i was 14 i considered myself bisexual. i was very religious, i actually wanted to be a nun when i was younger, but every since i have these temptations i have this terrible feeling of  unworthiness. i can't pray. there is this writer born in my country who says that hell is when you can't pray. i really have no clue of what i should do. pray for me cause i am very close to despair. 

Publisher's Note: Close to despair
That unworthy feeling is separation from God. Sin keeps us separated like that but God loves you so much, He allowed you to find our website and story to show you the light and the way out of your dark despair.  God is saying come toward the light. Walk out of the darkness.

You can do that by A. Admitting that you were wrong. That's called confession! God is pleased when we are willing to admit we had it all wrong. He can't forgive until you admit and ask for forgiveness of all you've done that did not please Him. B. You must believe that Jesus' death and resurrection actually happened AND that His blood shed was the perfect sacrifice. The bible says that while we were still sinners Jesus gave up His blood, His life for all future generations [that means for you] so that once we ask forgiveness and repent [turn away from sin] we are free! Free to pray directly to God in Jesus' Name, on our own, without a priest or any other representative.

Let's pray now!

Father in the Name of Jesus, I pray for my sister, that your loving and powerful Word will convict her heart until she is compelled to ask for your forgiveness. I ask you to strengthen her and guide her. I ask that you open her spiritual eyes so she can see the brightness of our shining. I pray that you will speak directly into her heart and mind so she will have no doubt that you Lord are her source of light and life. Lord, restore her completely.

The Lord taught His disciples to pray saying these words: ... forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever, Amen.

In this prayer you ask God to forgive you of your sins against Him, you also ask God to help you stay away/run away from temptations and to save you from all that is evil. Bisexuality is tempting and socially acceptable in this generation but is EVIL in God's sight. He surely will deliver you from the temptation once you DECIDE to give Jesus full control of your life, soul, mind spirit, emotions. He surely can take away the burn for it in your flesh. I'm the evident of this! Will you decide, with your whole heart to let God deliver you? Will you pray this prayer out loud right now?

Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever, Amen.

If you have said this prayer, and mean what it says, you have asked for forgiveness! You are talking to God! If you meant it, you are God's child and You can pray ANY time, Anywhere about Anything! The bible says we should ALWAYS pray! Don't let any voice tell you not to pray. The bible teaches us to stay away from those things that make it so easy to fall into sin. But if you sin, don't stop praying! That's the enemy's trick--to make you feel so guilty that you stop communicating with God!  If you sin, ASK GOD TO FORGIVE YOU IMMEDIATELY. The bible says that He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. Pray always! Stay in touch with us!

God Bless!
Charlene E. Cothran

I'm going to get hurt
I was reading your article on your site and I think its great. I am writing about a friend of mine. She is lesbian. She says she wants to change but doesn't know if she can because she is afraid she can't do it.  We talked about God for a little bit. She lives in another state by the way and I asked her if she'd attend Easter services with me.  She said she would but its easy to say living in another state. I want to try and help her but I know I can't change her and I don't want to seem like I'm trying to, Lots of men think they can, physically, but I know I can't.  I do pray for her a lot.  We talk everyday.  We get along great, its like we've known each other forever. I admit that I'm developing feelings for her and she knows it BUT, I expected her to already get rid of me but she hasn't which has me confused.  Besides praying for her I don't know what to do, but I do know there's hope. I just think I'm going to get hurt in the long run though, but you keep up the good work spreading the word.
T

Publisher's Note:I'm going to get hurt
Our team of Intercessors is already praying for you and your friend that God will grant her complete deliverance.  It is absolutely possible for her to be free.  She is sticking by you because she senses something real in you [the light of Christ] and she is starving for it.  Real love. We will pray for you to be led by the Holy Spirit with regard to your heart and feelings for her.  Please encourage her to come to our website and read the 'letters' and encourage her to listen to our weekly radio broadcast. It is designed especially for her.  It streams live via WAPN.net every Thurs 9:45 AM Eastern.  God bless and keep you!

I was at a crossroad
As a 22 year old female, I can truly say that God has shielded me from more than I can ever imagine.  Even when I decided to be disobedient to Him by engaging in homosexual behaviors while still attending church and ministering through music (which many do). God's mercy has been shown to me through his CONFIDENTIALITY of my countless sins. You have been an extreme encouragement because of your transparency.  At one point, I was at a crossroad trying to figure out if I was going to live this life that wasn't giving me joy or return to LIFE with Christ (with the struggle and leave him to work it out of me).  Many times I decided to leave the life alone, but fell back into it.  Many living the gay lifestyle without the grounding/stability of church/Christ end up in situations way too undesirable.  I say all this to say, that you are a true testimony to someone like myself who has DECIDED to live for God.  Now its for me to stay on track and keep grounded in the WORD.  Thank you for visiting my church! God Bless! 
Continue to be a Light to this dark world.
J.

I lived a lesbian life style all my life
I was so deeply blessed by your testimony early this morning around 4 A. M. During this time I Just happened to have my Christian TV station on and woke up to you telling your story. The Lord delivered me also, several years ago. I lived a lesbian life style all my life, and felt in all my heart that I was born that way.  Until one day the Holy Spirit touched my heart and turned me completely around.  And since than I've been walking, seeking the Lord and loving Him more each day!  By the grace of God, I'm an ordained Minster of the gospel. When the Lord God called me in 1994, it was a call of an urgency.  Today, I live in and for Christ, and cry out in my heart and intercede for all persons caught up in the life that is completing contrary to the will of God. Many times I questioned God as to why I left the Church at an early age and went astray? And I would always hear the Spirit say "for such a time as this." So, it blesses my heart to see how God is raising his people, those who are truly able and willing to stand in the gap!  May we all continue to pray each day. 
 Yours truly, because of Christ! 

Only God himself has anointed this day for me 
At this point and time in my life I have found myself in search for an open door to get out of the lifestyle.  I'm a young man that has grown up in the church as a Pastor's child, a Pastor's grandchild,... with that I have a call on my life to preach the gospel. But the room that my life has entered stop me from answering the call because of my lifestyle.  Being raised in the church I've seen a lot of things and I've witnessed preachers, deacons, ministers of music, choir directors live ungodly life's, and be headed straight to hell and taking folks with them.  I read [your] article, [had] never known of this website and it is helping me because so many church folk can't help me for judging me and slaying me instead of loving me and praying me through.  [In] 2006 I came back to the church, but that has not been enough for me. Coming to the church only was part of the answer. The rest of the problem remained unsolved because I didn't know my up from down.  All I know is I was hurting and the articles I've read from your magazine has open a door for me and I claim the victory right now.  It [the anointed Word from God] is going to remove the hurt and set the captive free through obedience and I say thank you just for obeying the will of God.

Publisher's Note: Only God himself has anointed this day for me
Praise Our God! God has such great work for you to do. If you stay grounded in the Word and develop a prayer life, God is able to keep you in the midst of the foolishness around you. God is saying I need you to stand as my evidence of true change through the faith of Christ. People surely know of your past BUT that is the very thing that God plans to use! [the fact that they all know]. They know how you once were but now they see you truly living for Jesus 24/7. They will see the glory of the Lord on you. Don't be distracted one bit by those who do not fully embrace or believe your testimony of full deliverance is real. YOU STAND. By doing so you are ministering to them. In time they will come to WANT what you've got: REAL, true peace, no wishing-washy deliverance but the real thing! That's when others will begin to come to YOU and say 'will you help me to get what you've got?'  Your ministry is in great demand. The harvest is plenteous. Let's go!!! There is no time to waste. I believe it will strengthen you to listen to our weekly radio broadcast. You can hear it via the web each Thursday AM at 9:45PM.  God is speaking directly to YOU and others He has called out for such a time as this!

Stay Free!!
~Charlene
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

Publisher's Note: I can't thank you enough for the work you do
I am so excited that you have found a woman you love. I am thankful that you see the lies and deceit of the enemy.  However, I do not quite agree with your closing statement that God will not make it easy for your deliverance. God does not want to make it difficult for you. What He does require is great FAITH.  Once the enemy understood that I was determined to never go back to those thoughts, he had to flee! 

My prayer for you is that you find absolute delight in God's Word. Read Psalms 1. When you love His Word like this, walking according to everything in it seems easy and pleasurable. Don't struggle. Enjoy your deliverance!
God Bless 
~Charlene
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

I pretty much have left the lesbian life 
but I really need help from someone in terms of how do you move forward with a man with such a sinful past.  I need to find out how to deal with my past when trying to move forward....at what point do you tell potential male dates about your past? I have no idea of how to begin moving forward yet being honest about my past...can you tell me where I might be able to find help/support? 
I live in Michigan.

Publisher's Note: I pretty much have left the lesbian life
I can definitely relate. It seems difficult at first to strike a balance between moving forward with dating a man and being totally honest with him up front about the past. I discussed this very subject in detail with a senior woman visiting my church who recently remarried. I told her of my past and of my desire to be found by a God fearing man. I ask her at what point do I tell him about my past? She advised me to first of all ASK GOD for a mate and to be VERY specific because God will have the man you ask for begin to search for YOU. Then she said, once you meet someone you feel the Lord has sent, wait for a few dates to discern him. Once you discern that this man has been SPIRIT LED to YOU, then it is safe to tell him. He will not be frightened away by anything you present as 'the past'. He may be taken aback but not turned away. Then give him time to adjust. 

She spoke to me with great care and compassion and I believe our conversation was ordained. It turns out that she is sought out by many women of God and women ministers for her spiritual advice about marriage and how to move forward when asking the Lord for a mate and how holy couples date in this day and age! She shared a great deal more [girl talk] and I do plan to invite her and other men and women of God who were formerly gay/ lesbian and now married, our experts in matters of the heart, to our first EVIDENCE Ministry conference. We can all learn and share together!

God Bless 
~Charlene
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

I have been " in the life for 7 years" 
But from the first foray into this life, I knew it was wrong, no excuses. I just hoped that one day God would deliver me, but until then I just kept living in sin. During this summer I went on a short 3 day fast to get clarity on another issue, but God stretched it out to 11 days!

During that fast Jesus showed me that my walk into homosexuality was because I didn't trust men--husband cheated/divorced and dad left mom.  I thought being with women was the "easy, safe way to love and be loved".  That of course was a filthy lie!  I found your testimony on CBN and later enrolled in the bible study for people leaving "the life" called settingthecaptivesfree.com.

Jesus Christ actually changed the way I looked at women, from intimate partners to Godly friend. I could have never done that on my own, if I could have then I wouldn't have needed HIM.  I have been walking free for a few months, from all sexual sin including porn and self gratification.

Freedom is possible if we want it bad enough. During slavery days, slaves that wanted to be free did whatever they had to do to get free.  They risked whippings, being sold and death.  But their desire to be free, over road the fear and many thousands of them made it to freedom in the North.  Jesus is my NORTH and I am running to freedom North to Jesus with nothing but the bible in my hand/heart.

Angela Westerly
Rhode Island

I don't know if I will be able to live a "straight" life 
I read your article today about you being gay and coming out to the Lord and living to His word. It touched me so, because I am currently a gay man, living in Cape Town and also gave my heart to the Lord, but I know I can't be gay and serve God at the same time. I have and still am struggling with that!! I don't know what to do and your article was God send to give me some insight and answers.

To be honest I am scared!  I want to give my life fully to Jesus, but I don't know if I will be able to live a "straight" life, for lack of a better word. I am really confused and need help! I know that I am hurting God by being gay and not giving all of me to Him!

Please help!  Have a blessed day and week ahead!

Regards S.F.
Cape Town - South Africa

Publisher's Note: I don't know if I will be able to live a "straight" life 
I am happy that the Lord directed you to the article Redeemed 10 Ways to Get Out and that you have gotten some insight.  I want to get 'straight' to the point. The enemy of your soul is a LIAR! I wanted to be free years before giving Christ full control of my life. The BIG LIE was that I would not ever be able to break the desires in my flesh for a woman since this is all I had known for 30 years. The power in believing on Christ's name and submitting myself to the Word of God DID break the wanting in my flesh!! I believed a lie!! I am completely free!

YES YOU CAN live successfully as God intended, without being tortured in mind and without feeling tempted always. Christ wants to deliver you right now but it takes a full determination on your part to never turn back. Once you show the Lord your FAITH, He must reward you with the petition of your heart--to live for Him, free of the sins of the flesh. I am, and many others, are the EVIDENCE of change though Christ! We all felt the same way you feel right now but each of us has one thing in common. We can remember the moment when we DECIDED, come Hell or high water, I'm not turning back! God, then, began to change everything!

Seek the Lord! Ask, seek, and knock-- the Lord WILL deliver [break the fleshy desires] of those who DILIGENTLY seek him. You can't seek Him for full deliverance knowing in the back of your mind that you plan to meet some friends in a place where you know you may be tempted to sin. Deliberately walk a different path. Deliberately cut off old acquaintances in favor of spending much needed time alone with God. YOU have to want deliverance enough to do whatever God says to you. He speaks to you through His Word; written, preached and prophesied. His speaks to you in prayer when you first ask for forgiveness of sin, talk to Him, then LISTEN.

God LOVES you so much! He has purpose and great destiny already planned for YOU. I know it is hard for the human mind to conceive but God's divine plan for your life was already set before time began. Now heed His call and obey His Word. The freedom you seek is touching you right now. I want you to open you arms, palms up and stand to your feet. I want you to say out loud "I BELIEVE GOD! Lord, let your living and powerful Word search my heart. Cleanse me in those places that I don't even know exist. I will cast down every imagination that is not like you! I will toss out all my old thoughts and reasonings as if I am a new born! I will allow your Word to give me fresh, clean, creative and holy thoughts! I will claim these fresh, clean and holy thoughts as my NEW MIND! I will TRANSFORM MYSELF with this new mind that your Word daily speaks into me! I am completely delivered from this moment on because I claim my new life BY FAITH and I will now WALK as if I BELIEVE GOD! Now Give God thanks and praise for your deliverance!

I BLESS You Lord Jesus, for sending my brother to this your ministry of CHANGE. I pray that you will strengthen him with might in his inner man so that he will be able to say together with all the saints who have also been set free, what is the width, length, depth and height of your love for him. Lord, give him a glimpse in his spirit so that he will know how you love him. Then, Lord, he will know that he DOES NOT have to struggle. Because of the power in your blood and because we BELIEVE your Word we know that we can do exceeding, abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that works in US. Amen.  Now Let God's amazing power WORK in you!

Charlene E. Cothran
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

I prayed for 10 months every day
I live in Germany, Bremen.  i´m 19 years old and i´m homosexual. i hope you understand my english.  i write you this letter because of your magazine "venus".   i read an article of ...[how] your life [changed] from a homosexual life [to] a holy life with God, in the name of Jesus our Saviour and healer.  i believe in Jesus since 19 years.  He is the reason that  i´m alive. i love Him and i know He is the Christ, God´s son. i believe in the Holy bible, in His word, because He is the word.  when i was 14 years old my feelings changed to other guys and homosexual feelings. i know from beginning thats not right. this is not the way and life what Jesus have vote for me. but its hard to change. since 2 years i don´t want do anything homosexual. but it´s hard to live without. i prayed for 10 months every day that Jesus would change me, my feelings and dreams... i speak to my preacher and to other Christian people. i pray with them for me but nothing will change in my life. i know i can´t change myself but i know Jesus can do that! nothing is impossible for Him! it is taking too much time... i must wait too long.  what can i do?

be blessed 

Publisher's Note: I prayed for 10 months every day
The Lord has sent you to right place for deliverance. I have wonderful news for you, my brother! The deliverance you seek is so very near to you! Deliverance IS obedience to the WORD of God.  You have declared how much you love the Lord, if it were not for Him, you would not be alive. Yes, I feel the same. But we must go beyond our 'feelings' of being grateful for the times He has saved us. We must show and live our gratefulness by simply submitting to his Word. We make it much harder than it is. 
     In the gospel according to Luke, the 17th chapter, we learn of 10 men who were bound by a condition that they knew they could not change themselves. They didn't want to live this way, but what could they do? They expected to 'struggle' and be rejected and be identified as 'unchangeable' for the rest of their lives. They truly believed that all was lost. So, when they heard that Jesus was passing, they had just enough faith in what they had heard He could do, and they had absolutely NOTHING to lose by calling on him for mercy. Everything in religious society said that they should not even have spoken to Jesus. They were Samaritans and Jesus, a Jew. But they, by faith, pushed past all that to call on Him. When we get to a place where we no longer care what ANYONE thinks and begin to seek God in that place, He will answer.  It is obvious to me that you are seeking the Lord and you do not care who among Christians knows of your 'struggle', you want help to get out. This is good. It is not so obvious to me that you have arrived at that same place among your gay associates and friends. Are you at a place where you no longer care what THEY think of you? Are you willing to leave them behind to receive your deliverance--to no longer 'struggle' with gay thoughts and dreams? 
     The most important lesson in this text is that we must obey the Word spoken to us by the Lord to receive deliverance. In the case of the lepers, Jesus spoke the Word to them when he said 'GO, show yourselves to the priest.' That was it! He gave them a directive, a Word of action. Their deliverance was based on a CONDITION that they follow that action; GO! The Word says 'And it came to pass, that, AS THEY WENT, they were cleansed!' What an amazing God we serve! All we have to do is Call on Him [in prayer, but this is where most people stop!], seek Him [study His Word to get to know what God requires of us], then GO!-- follow His commands as written in His Word or spoken to your heart by the Holy Spirit.  So what if 'its hard'.  Perhaps it was hard for you to finally come out of the closet as a homosexual, yet you conditioned yourself to deal with that.  And, I recognize that, for some, it is hard to come under complete subjection to the Word at first but it gets easier.  The time it takes for complete deliverance is directly related to your level of commitment AFTER your praying ends.  Get up and GO as Christ commands.  Resolve not to turn back.  At some point we have to draw a line in the sand and say I will NOT go back.  I drew this line the day I said YES.  You must draw this line now!  As we GO, as we walk out, under His commands, we find that our natural desires, our mannerism, even our very dreams will change! I am God's EVIDENCE of this!  We must remain committed to the WORD of God, and daily apply the commands of Christ to our lives. 
     Now, let me minister to you in the area of your dreams.  In the first few months after my conversion, Satan began to attack my dreams.  It is my heart's desire to please God and Satan understood that my level of commitment is so high that he could not get my attention during my conscious hours. So Satan began to attack my unconscious hours, my dreams, to try to deceive me into believing that I wanted to do what he could not make me do when I was awake.  As a new Christian, I became very concerned about the dreams that I was having and sought the counsel of my pastor. What she shared with me absolutely defeated the enemy! She taught me by saying 'you must rebuke Satan, and then declare the Word of God before you sleep.'  
     And so I did! Before I went to sleep the next night, I declared out loud, "Satan the Lord Rebuke You! The blood of Jesus Christ stands against you. I declare that Jesus is LORD of my conscious mind AND He is LORD of my subconscious mind! I will not give place to homosexual thoughts or desires anywhere in my life, not even in my dreams!  Jesus rules! Even in my sleep!"  I was delivered that night from ever having a 'gay dream' again. In fact, I glorify God because as the LORD of my dreams, He is constantly showing me the beautiful, holy woman He intended for me to be from the beginning.  I love my dreams!  Can't wait to get to sleep at night! In fact, I am devoting an entire chapter about these dreams in my forthcoming book. 
     Finally, we must glorify God for the victory. The text says that one of the 10, while on the journey, saw that he was healed and returned to Jesus and fell down at His feet giving Him thanks. Giving thanks for every small change we see along the way, actually seals our victory!   
     My prayer for you is that you be strengthened with might by His Spirit in your inner man, and that you will come to understand, together with all of us saints who are now praying for you, what is the width, length, depth and height of God's love for you. And in that place that was once full of doubt that you could ever stop 'struggling', that you will be filled with all the fullness of God! Knowing that He is able to do exceeding, abundantly above all that we can ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Ephesians 3:14-20

Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

I am in the process of coming out.
My name is Clifford Berry and I am in the process of coming out. Well actually everyone knows but my parents. I am 21 and I have been an ordained minister since I was 15. I have a close relationship with God.  In fact I know this.  I am Holy Ghost filled, with signs and wonders. I love God more than anything.   
    U say people can't be born gay, but when I was a little boy I always found myself attracted 2 other guys. When I was just 7 or 8 I told my father I wanted 2 be a girl. I guess at that time I figured that if I liked little boys then I was supposed 2 be a girl, ya know.    
     I have been 2 counselors and nothing has "changed the way I feel". I think that would be denying who I really am. The bible says that if you think about doing something you might as well do it cause its just the same as actually doing it. Why should I get married to a female and still have feelings for another man. I'm lying. Putting up a facade. God knows my heart. He knows my desires. I can fool her, but I can't fool God.
     I was on the subway one day on my way 2 work (i'm a new york based actor) feeling kind of down and this lady whom I never met b4 came up 2 me and said "I know I don't know u, but God told me to tell u something. Do you mind?" I said no, go ahead. she said "he told me to tell u to stop worrying and stop fearing. He has not given u the spirit of fear. But of love and a SOUND mind. He wants you to know he Is pleased and that, yes, he loves you." "Thank you," I said. And that was it. It only lasted a second but I will never forget her words. No, she wasn't a prophet. No, she wasn't some great leader. I don't know who she was. But I know that God used her that day as my angel. To let his child know "let not your heart be troubled."
     I have found peace with God and I talk to him every day multiple times. This worship of God is not the worship of an idol as u speak of.  I am offended by idols. I worship the one and true God. He speaks to me. He guides me. He leads me. And if he wanted me to change or become someone else he would tell me and I would follow without question and he would equip me with everything I need to do his will.
     Being homosexual is not hiding behind words like family, decency, and Christianity. Its not fearing your body, or the pleasures that God made for it. Its not judging your neighbor, except when he's mean or unkind.
     Being homosexual has taught me tolerance, compassion and humility. It has shown me the limitless possibilities of living. It has given me people whose passion and kindness and sensitivity have provided a constant source of strength.
     I do applaud you however. You are speaking to people with love. Not only with a love of the people but a great love of God. And you came out because you feel God called you to a new level in life and who am I to deny that. Unlike most Christians who preach out of hate I can truly say that my spirit leaps with your spirit. I know you are a true child of God. God bless you.

Please keep in touch, if you can. Reply to this, if you can. Thank you and God Bless.    
Your brother in Christ, 
Clifford Ray Berry

Publisher’s Note: I'm in the process of coming out

Good morning Cliff, Wow, you've said so much, I don't know where to begin.  Well, how about we begin with prayer.  

Father in the Name of Jesus, I thank you for my brother Cliff.  Thank you for the zeal he has and thank you for the gifts you placed in him for your use.  Help me now Lord to illuminate your truths to him and others who may read this and identify with his walk.  Get the glory out of our lives.  Amen.

1. What do you truly believe?
Cliff, you say that you have been an ordained minister for several years.  My first question to you is what do you truly believe?  Do you believe that homosexuality is sin?  I think the answer is yes.  You may not want to admit this but it is clear to me that there is something about your life that you have felt  necessary to keep in the dark or hide from others.   Cliff, God's Word in this moment speaks directly to this where He says 
     1 John 1: 5,6 - This is the message which we have heard from Him, and declare unto you,            that God is light, and  in Him is no darkness at all.  If we say we have fellowship with Him and         walk in darkness, we lie, and do not practice the truth.

Cliff, I lied to myself for many years.  I knew in my heart it was wrong, but I felt that I was a good person and that was going to count for something in the end.  That's the kind of lie that Satan wants us to believe.

2.  You were NOT 'born gay'.
Why are you trying to convince yourself that you were born gay?  If you believe the scriptures, then you cannot point out one Word that supports this argument.  I was taught in a gay church once that gays should understand from scripture that all gays are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' in the image of God.  Well if that were true and the true context of the Word, could not an unrepented prostitute or a gossiping back-biter claim the same scripture as their reason that no repentance is necessary?    

     Romans 3:23 says - All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.  
We were all born IN sin, however for those of us who chose to walk out our worldly pleasures as homosexuals, we are STILL required to REPENT.

Finally, to those who have convinced themselves that they were born this way, the scriptures clearly instruct that we must be BORN AGAIN!  

     John 3:3 - Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be   born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

     John 3:7 - Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.

     1Peter 1:23 - Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God,  which liveth and abideth for ever.

3. You say that after being encouraged by an angel, you have found peace with God.

I am so thankful for the woman of God who obeyed when God spoke.  I do pray that more Christians would do this.  The woman spoke words of compassion to you.  The Christ living in her saw the condition of worry and the heaviness that was apparently upon you that morning.  However be reminded by the Word in 

      Romans 5:8 - But God commended His love toward us that while we were yet sinners, Christ   died for us.   

Cliff, God's love for us, His concern for what we go through is real.  Yes, He sends His angels to encourage and keep us safe many times, even when we are not reconciled to Him.  In fact, this is how He draws the unsaved!  I can think of so many times that God literally saved my life, even though I was clearly an unrepented sinner.  That's why I love Him so.

4. You say that being homosexual is not fearing your body, or the pleasures that God made for it.

As a clergyman, certainly you have studied the 8th chapter of Romans.  As Christians we understand that our 'flesh' [whatever part of us that wants what it wants when it wants it] will cause us to miss heaven if we do not deny it the things that it demands.  Pleasure is indeed made for the body but God placed clear conditions for enjoying sexual pleasures--marriage between one man and one woman.

I have added your name to my prayer list.  I pray that you will study these passages and ask God to examine you heart.  He will guide you to truth and make you whole, if you let Him.   God has a tremendous work for your life as a repented man who once was gay.

In Him, -Charlene

Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

I Couldn't Stop 
You don't have any idea of what a blessing you are in my life. For the short time I've known about you, and how Jesus Christ is working with you, seems that my life has now another WAY TO BE FOLLOWED.  I thank God for it!  I accepted Jesus Christ last year in the place where I live, but still, I couldn't control my gay feelings. I was about 15-years-old, but I had had these strange feelings since 12 years old probably because I was abused when a child.  Even though I had Jesus in my Christ, I couldn't get myself rid of the gay stuff.  I didn't know why, because I always sinned to God by seeing gay videos and stuff and after asked for Him to forgive me.  But I was tired of it, because the Word of God was upon me and was showing me I was totally wrong. Still, I passed days crying, did not know how to get rid of it. I couldn't stop watching those videos (I did it like by instinct, always).

But then, it's now been more than a month that I've been praying to God to put people in the way of my life to help me.  People who'd know to teach me to get out of this situation. And now Charlene, after I read your wonderful article about your salvation and the end of your lesbian life, I feel totally free!  Totally free of it, aware that I CAN STOP WITH THIS LIFE AND WALK WITH JESUS CHRIST!  Next year I'm moving to the U.S. to study in a Christian University.   I just hope that someday, I can marry, have my wonderful children, and once remember it just as a terrible and bad dream.  Charlene, THANK YOU for your wonderful testimony. Without it, I don't know if I'd be as happy as I'm now.  Please, pray for me, that my life be a blessing for the Lord, and that he uses me as he uses you to his glory."

Thanks!!  Phillip

Publisher’s Note: I Couldn't Stop
Phillip, My soul is rejoicing with you today! I know that God is going to use YOU greatly! 

I want to pray with you now:

Father in the mighty name of Jesus, 
I ask your blessing over the life of my brother, who has given you a complete and total YES with his whole heart.  I ask you Lord to BLESS his coming and his going from this time forward.  I ask you Lord to now release every promise to him and manifest yourself to him to let him know deep down in his spirit that you HAVE released your promises to him, the promise of a God fearing wife, and the promise of the children they will have together.  Prepare him for the promise as you have done for so many others! BLESS this young man so that everyone who sees him will KNOW that he is indeed the seed that you have blessed. 

Strengthen him to withstand the trials of the evil one who will now come to TEST his testimony. Cover him with your feathers Lord and hide him until he learns to use the weapons of spiritual warfare. Teach him how to fight the enemy of his soul [videos, etc.] and show him with each victory won [every time you say NO! I WILL obey the Word], how you Lord will release a new and more powerful anointing on his life, his testimony, his ministry.  Lord, get the GLORY out of this young life! Use him for your glory!  Provide his every need as you have done for me and walk and talk with him every hour. Teach him to trust in YOU and not lean toward his own understanding. Lord, bring this young man into a place where he HEARS YOU, BELIEVES YOU, and in every situation OBEYS YOU as Abraham did, for we know this is the true definition of 'righteousness'. Keep your hand on his life and make him a TREE of righteousness.

In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen!
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

Don’t Get Your Hopes up
I tried it for almost a year [to get free from homosexuality]. I attended group at Exhange Ministries in Orlando and spent a lot of money in faith based reparative therapy.   I don't mean to burst your bubble but....Don't get your hopes up.  You CAN be a gay Christian. 
To say that you can't is judgmental.
James :-)
 
Publisher’s Note: Don’t Get Your Hopes up
My only hope is in Christ. I agree that reparative therapy is not the answer to deliverance from homosexuality. That’s why that community shuns me. CHRIST is the only answer. James, the truth is, NO we can not be a CHRISTIAN if we have not recognized homosexuality as sin, asked God to forgive us, and willfully turned away from sin. Most importantly we must invoke the power of the Holy Ghost, through prayer and study of scripture, to KEEP us free. I am God’s EVIDENCE that this works! James, I am not judging you. The Word of God judges us ALL. Neither am I without compassion.
 
When the woman who was caught in the act of adultery was brought to Jesus, He showed great compassion and love toward her YET commanded her to 'go and SIN NO MORE!' It is wrong to believe that you can continue to walk in what you KNOW is sin ad still have right relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Anyone who has ever truly met Jesus, not just studied Him or heard about Him, but MET HIM, they experienced a great change in their lives: Every single one! So, if you have not experienced CHANGE in the sinful areas of your life, you simply do not know Him. I know this sounds harsh but the truth must be upheld.
 
Read Roman 8, the whole chapter.
 
It begins by teaching "There is therefore now, no condemnation in Christ Jesus to those who WALK NOT after the flesh but after the spirit. If we choose to continue in our fleshly walk, knowing the acts of our will [homosexual life] are not in the will of God, then there IS condemnation in Christ Jesus, by the Word, not by man.
 
Please James, I beg you to consider your ways. You are saying to God with your actions that the pleasures of having sex with a man is greater than your desire to serve and obey Him, the one who created you, has mercy upon you, protects you and provides for you and is yet waiting for you to come out of darkness. He wants to use you James. God wants to raise up a generation who will obey Him no matter what, who will turn from sin, and speak the truth proving to others that He is still the same God through the ages.
 
He changed Saul to Paul, He changed lesbian Charlene to free Charlene and He can change you too, if you let Him. But it seems that you do not WANT to change.
Many people in sin feel that way. The Word says that sin is pleasurable for a season, so in that season they want to have all the fun they can. But please don't be deceived into believing that the ‘sin season’ is NOT sin or that you are in right standing with God while still holding dear your pleasures.
 
James, time is winding down. You do not have as long as you may think. Come to Jesus now for FULL repentance. Yes, there will be a period of time where you will walk with Christ alone, apart from your old friends as He teaches you His truths. When He set me apart, or sanctified me, I spent many days alone in His presence. I would not trade those times for anything. Now I have new family and friends and responsibilities and He is yet teaching me to hold dear my alone time with Him. I will continue to spend these times writing, praying, reading. I know that God has sent you to this ministry for a purpose.
 
Father In the Name of Jesus, Thank you for my brother James. I ask that you manifest your transforming power to Him. Show him that you will come in and do a wondrous work in a REPENTED heart. Lord, thank you for loving us and dying for us while we were yet in our sins.
 
Lord, I ask that you open the eyes of James’ understanding to SEE the work you did at the cross. That you did not die in agony so that he would have the right to continue in sin, but rather that James would accept YOUR righteousness simply by saying YES with his whole heart. Lord, touch him right now with your mighty hand.
 
Lord, open his eyes, Lord open his eyes, open James’ eyes.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
 
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.
 
I am choking in this [translated from Spanish]
My name is M. and looking at this page helps my problem. I am homosexual but not very convinced in it. This has not brought a lot of happiness to my life, on the contrary, after committing this sin, now the idea of the suicide is in my head.  Please I am choking in this
and I have not shared it with anybody. I would like to find help before it is too late.
 
Publisher’s Note: I am choking in this
M., Please do not give another thought to harming yourself because God has come to deliver you. You can brake free of this feeling of not having any control of your own emotions and body. God did the same one for me and He WILL do it for you. I want that you pray with me right now. Father in the name Jesus Christ, I pray for the protection over the life of my brother. I ask you to cover him with your feathers as you said in Psalms 91. Father I ask you to hide M. under the shadow of your wings, even if you must hide him from himself. Do not allow any harm to come near the housing of his soul, his heart or his mind. Lord please reveal to M. that secret
place inside of himself where YOU want to live and heal him. Amen.
 
M., if you say this aloud God will come in and FILL that secret place in your longing soul: Lord I BELIEVE that you alone have the power to forgive and heal.  Please forgive me for all my sins. Lord cleanse me with your blood and strengthen me.  Lord, I need you now to enter my heart and live in me. Please direct my feet in yours ways and heal my mind. Please help me to learn to fight against the enemy of my soul and to bring into captivity EVERY thought to the obedience of Christ. Thank you Jesus, for saving my soul and my life. Amen.
 
M., I want to teach you how to use the only weapon that the enemy of your soul fears; THE NAME OF JESUS. There is POWER in the name alone. You MUST learn to speak back to the enemy whenever he places a negative thought into your mind. I don't care how silly you feel,
when the enemy says, 'you don't want to live, why don’t you just end this', I want you to say this OUT LOUD, "Satan the LORD REBUKE you! The BLOOD of JESUS Christ stands against you! I will NOT die. I will LIVE and declare the works of the Lord!"
 
What you are doing here is transforming your life by the renewing of YOUR MIND.
The moment you become a BELIEVER this WORKS!

1. Use the NAME OF JESUS to rebuke Satan. This backs him up!
2. REPLACE the thought from Satan with the LIVING WORD of God!
3. Repeat this process until Satan flees, [the negative thought does not return.]
4. Give God praise for the victory! [“Thank you, Jesus for allowing me to overcome the world!!”]
 
You must do this with EVERY negative thought. When Satan says, 'You are not 'saved' nor are you Christian. You are the same homosexual you were yesterday." YOU SAY: "Satan the LORD REBUKES you!  The BLOOD of JESUS stands against you. I am NOT the man I was yesterday. II Corinthians 5:17 says that if ANY man be in Christ Jesus he is a new creature, old things have passed away, behold ALL THINGS, everything about me, has become new!" Thank you God for making me a NEW Man!!
 
M, if the negative thoughts persist, I want you to seek the counsel of a professional therapist. This is perfectly O.K. They can help you to understand how these thoughts developed from a secular view, but ONLY God can fully DELIVER you from them and bring the PEACE and comfort your soul longs for. I love you and GOD loves you. Trust in HIM and know that everything is going to be alright!

-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

 
Seeking answers
I read your testimony but still have to ask a question pertaining to people not being
born with gay genes.  How would you or biologist conclude people being born as 
hermaphrodites? Obviously this is not a choice so why would being gay be a choice
to all people. I do know some choose it but not all! I also know some Gay people who
follow God, their sexuality has nothing to do with their spirit. I know some gay people
who have tried to pray their gayness away and also have gone to ex-gay ministries which
only suppress their true identity until they became real with themselves and stopped suppressing it.
 
I applaud you for being the activist that you are/were but do you truly believe your case is
everyone’s case? I'm truly seeking answers to this.
 
Publisher’s Note: Seeking answers
A person born an hermaphrodite is NOT born a homosexual. This is a MEDICAL condition, in need
of a medical remedy. Gender confusion is an expected psychological disorder for hermaphrodites.
Homosexuality, on the other hand, is a condition that begins in a person's thought life, NOT in their
genes or medical profile. It has NEVER been proven and never will be that a person is born homosexual.
 
I know people don't like bible verses quoted at them but I must present the truth about gays who claim to follow God. 1 John 1:6 says 'If we say that we have fellowship with Him and walk in darkness, we LIE and do not practice the truth.' The people you speak of are NOT following the true and living God. They are following an 'idol' god that they have created in their own minds so that they do not have to turn away from sin. The bible speaks in many passages about people having 'itching ears' and seeking false prophets to tell them what they WANT to hear. They want to hear and believe their very real desire to love/marry/date/sleep with a person of the same sex is blessed by God.
 
I was there. I loved many women over the years but the last and longest relationship lasted for10 years. She is indeed a wonderful person. By all other standards she is the model of charity and goodness. But here in lies the deception by Satan. He does not care about your being a great person, feeding the hungry, living an upstanding and clean life in every other way, as long as he can keep you believing a LIE [that God will allow my soul to enter His kingdom even though I live as an unrepentant homosexual or lesbian--in direct opposition to His Word].
 
As long as he can have us believe this to the end, he wins, you lose---eternally.   DO NOT allow the enemy of your soul to do the same thing he's done since EVE. All Satan does is suggest that God didn't REALLY mean what He said, did He? He insists that you [man or woman] are JUST as 'intelligent' as God and can make up what is right and wrong for yourself. But that would make YOU God, wouldn't it? We are NOT Gods.
We do not belong to ourselves. We didn't create ourselves. We belong to God and He created an order. Like it or not, homosexuality is outside of His divine order. BUT, God is so loving and longsuffering, He will forgive and forget the sins of ANY willing heart. He will bring clarity of spirit to anyone who seeks His face in spirit
and in TRUTH.
 
Try this--push away everything you've learned from the gay community AND everything you've learned in churches too. GO DIRECTLY TO GOD and begin to study what His Word says ON YOUR OWN without the old junk. Let HIM speak
directly to you.
 
Pray this prayer with me now.
God, I know you are listening to me. I need confirmation in my spirit that you love me. Please come near to me right now as I seek your face and seek understanding about how you created me. I need you Lord and I don't want to hear from anyone but you. Please come into my heart right now and forgive me of ALL of my sins. Lead me in your Word, and reveal the truth about how you created me and show me the error of my ways so that I may walk in your light.
Thank you for loving me just as I am. Amen.
 
I challenge you to pray this prayer for 21 days in a row, then get up and read His Word. It’s a first step and I am praying for you to stay the course with simply SEEKING Him. The Word says that He is a rewarder to those who DILIGENTLY seek Him. Spend time each day talking to Him about this. Don't stop. You WILL get clarity in spirit
AND claim your reward--eternal life! Stay in touch.

-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.
 
My Only Fear
i am a 26 year old woman…the daughter of a pastor and actively involved in church…and I know the word… I know whats right..and whats wrong. But I’m stuck. i can’t get out. i’m tired..mentally tired..and scared.. i want Christ to deliver me, as well as my partner...i want to seek God’s face ...and I want to start living for Christ.  But my only fear is that once Christ delivers me, i may ease back into the clubs…or start back drinking..or even find me a man and start shacking up with him..etc. see, that’s my fear..i know that as humans, its impossible to be sin-less..in this crazy sinful world..but I yearn to stop everything!..cause I am aware that sin is sin. No big
sin..no lilttle sin. And Christ hates all sin no matter what it is!..i am also aware that the gates to heaven are very narrow…doesn’t matter if ya gay or straight. if one does not except Christ, then, they will not enter heaven. So really, i'm writing you this email, not to only be free from this life, but I want to be free from all of my stuggles..and live for Christ!!

Publisher’s Note: My only fear
I want you to know that I got your message and God hears your heart's cry. I understand exactly what you are feeling. The first thing I want to do is assure you that you can be free and NOT fall! The devil is lying to you, and using the SAME lie he trapped me with for years. Not this time! Not another young life! When you come out of this and discover how wrong these lies are, you will be amazed, strengthened and ready to run on and help somebody else.
 
Fear of temptation and falling is the grand lie that Satan has sold to us ‘churched’ children who know that truth. He knows that we won't 'play' church so he suggests that we can't make it for long giving our ALL to God so why even try. The devil is a liar! I have been saved for two years and have had NO desire to turn back or go whoring with men. I had the SAME fears you spoke of BEFORE I got saved. Don't get me wrong, once you get saved, your testimony MUST by tried or tested.
God wants to know if you are TRUE to Him.
 
When you say YES to God with your whole heart, you are enlisting in His army and spiritual warfare begins immediately. Your weapon is the Word of God IN you which will STAND against whatever, whoever, and whenever temptation comes. We must also build a consistent PRAYER LIFE. This is especially important for those coming out of sexual sin. Satan cannot turn your head or thoughts to the left or right when you pray like your life depends on it. It may feel like a chore at first,
to pray often and long but this builds a strong and disciplined prayer life.  
 
I look forward to my time alone with God. We talk and commune. I seek Him, cry, lay before Him for at least 30 minute or more EVERYDAY. There is a DEEPNESS about praying now that was not manifest at THIS level even 6 months ago. For this reason, the devil tried but didn't stand a chance when some woman decided to ‘try’ me. I was too sensitive to the fact that God was
allowing me to be tested. I understood exactly what was happening IN THE SPIRIT and WANTED to pass my test. I knew that by passing my test, God would allow my testimony to be STRENGTHENED that it might help someone else, like YOU, who needs to KNOW that you CAN stand and NOT fall when coming out of homosexuality. If you fall, He is faithful and just to forgive
you but the Word says that He is able to KEEP us from falling!
 
The Holy Ghost kept me and preserved me. Everything the devil threw at me was countered by thoughts like 'What does the Word say' or 'IT IS WRITTEN...' This is the SAME way Jesus stood under the temptation that He went through after he fasted for 40 days. God has ALREADY provided a way out for those moments, if you would pray, fast, and study the Word. If you do not know much Word yet, then seek the counsel of someone you trust WHO DOES. It takes more than walking down to the altar, joining the church or singing in the choir. We have to WORK out our own soul's salvation [pray/fast/study] if we expect to stand and stand we MUST in order to make it into the kingdom of God!
 
Strength, joy, new and exciting -holy- adventures are YOURS in Christ. Who would have ever thought that just by telling the truth, and lifting up Jesus, I would have been invited to share this simple message around the world and across the U.S.? Unsolicited, God opens doors for those whose hearts are loyal to Him. God is drawing you and your partner unto Himself right now. Is there any reason why you will not give your WHOLE heart and soul
to Jesus Christ right now?
 
-Charlene
 
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.
 

Surprised and Shocked
May God bless you and keep you in your deliverance. I respect what you're saying and
wish you well. Just found out this information and I am completely surprised and shocked.
I'll always remember you from the scene in the ATL. I was very impressed and pleased to
see the way you and the other sistahs came to Atlanta and gave lesbians a safe venue to
come together. For this I will always be grateful.
[Thank you for] The loving dedication and tribute to our dear friend Venus memorialized in
a magazine [and] for your contribution to the Gay/Lesbian Community in Atlanta and nothing
but the best for you in the future.
 
DJ Shan 
 
Publisher's Note: Surprised and Shocked
Thank you Shan,
God has a way of bringing us back to where we started in Him. If you were hanging out in ATL
with us back then, that means you're no 'spring chicken'! [smile] Time belongs to God and though
He is merciful and longsuffering, He won't wait forever. Change is possible and wonderful!
Come to Jesus WHILE YOU HAVE TIME.
Love You! Mean It!
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

 
God began working with me and revealing His truth to me
I am amazed about what God has been doing! He has done great things for me. Most importantly, last month (Dec. 07') I was delivered from homosexuality. There is nothing better than being washed clean of sin, and living for Jesus! I am so full of joy, and I know that there are so many other gays and lesbians out there that need Jesus, and I believe now is the time.
 
It is amazing how God works! I read your testimony in November. I remember thinking, "I'm so tired of hearing about ex-lesbians.  We are born this way, and that's that! She has not changed! She's just fooling herself." The devil is a liar!!!! Of course, the Holy Spirit had not taken me over yet, and I was stuck thinking in the natural ways. However, by the time December
rolled around, God began working with me and revealing His truth to me. I felt gay since I was a child, and I came out at 18.
Now, at age 23, God has shown His amazing grace and mercy upon my soul! I cried out to Him and I am forgiven. He has made my heart pure for Him. I am so thankful for the renewal of my faith! I was born and raised in the church, but Satan tried to deceive me, and keep me from living a true life! I am also thankful to God because I had a praying mother, who never gave up on my soul. God is so powerful and true. 
 
Praise be to our God!
C.C. in Orlando, FL
 
Doing a great thing
I'm 29 years old and I was in the lifestyle for over a decade. I'm not about to go into a long story just yet but I want you to know that you are doing a great thing. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. By the way, I saw your video on Youtube.
May God continue to bless and guide you,
K.
 
Don't need religion
One doesn’t have to ‘get religion’ to leave a homosexual lifestyle – I just decided that it wasn’t healthy. I had seen too many things to make me think that this was [not] normal. I just decided to stop. But for those who need religion to get them away, I have no problem with it.  

Publisher's Note: Don't need to religion
You are correct that we do not have to 'get religion' to leave homosexuality, but we DO have to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ in order to have access to God and to be forgiven for ALL our sins. My congratulations to you that you were able, in your own strength, to move past an ungodly, unhealthy lifestyle, but do you KNOW Jesus? There are plenty of people who were
never gay/lesbian who will miss heaven because they rejected Christ or never knew Him personally.

-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.


Thank you for accepting Jesus
and getting your life right with Him. Your article blessed my heart and encouraged me. I am a Christian who dealt with this issue in my own life, but God literally pulled me out of the fire several years ago.  I do feel that God is using your witness to speak to so many lost and hurting souls
and I am so excited for all He is doing and going to do.  He is such a loving God and knows how to stir our spirit for His truth. There are so many people that I pray for daily who just seem so far away…and just don’t know Him. I will pray for you and your ministry. I praise the Lord for what
He is doing in your life and the things He is accomplishing in these last days. Hallelujah!
Peaches Stevens
 
As of right now
I have been in the lesbian lifestyle for the last 11 years. I went to church today and I know just how great our God is and I also know that this life style is not of God. I am trying to figure out how to get my life back on track and leave this life alone. I know you have done this also. I just want a person's opinion who has been just where I am now.
 
Publisher's note: As of right now
First know that God is speaking to you and DRAWING you unto himself. You are hearing His
voice saying come unto me and rest. As you know I lived the gay life for 29 years and struggled
with knowing that God was looking on as I 'carried on'.  I had no peace but I have unbelievable peace right now. JOY fills my heart and house. I enjoy my new friends and my alone time with the Lord. I am learning how to lean on Jesus and trust in Him more each day. I am USING what I have learned in His word to keep my flesh under subjection.

Yes, I have been tempted by Satan but I have not fallen mainly because of four things:
1. Prayer and the prayers of the saints
2. Being accountable to my mentors
3. Studying and learning to USE the Word of God in my own defense
4. Sheer determination. I made a DECISION to let NOTHING separate me from the love of God.

The main thing I want you to know is that God loves you. He has purposed for you to accept Him as your savior and Lord and to have deliverance [WALK OUT OF LESBIANISM] through the ongoing support of this ministry or He would not have sent you. I want you to know that you CAN be free, right now, by praying the prayer of faith with me.

Say this out loud:
Father, I am coming to you just as I am asking for your forgiveness;
I know that I am a sinner just like every person born and I need you to help me break free of ALL my sins. I am asking that you cover my sins with the cleansing blood of your son Jesus Christ, that I might be reunited with you, Lord.  God, I promise that if you save me, transform me into the woman you intended for me to be, I will give you the glory, I will lift  up your name in praise and keep a testimony of change on my lips to share with others who will now look to me as a light.  Lord, I will study your word and use it to fight the enemy of my soul who will try to convince me that nothing has changed.  Lord, I know that this is a FAITH walk and that I will not always FEEL you, however I WILL always know and acknowledge  your presence by faith. I know that this, my demonstration of faith, PLEASES you!  Lord, I will seek out a congregation of true believers where your Word is being taught and where the people of God worship  you in SPIRIT and in TRUTH.
Thank you Jesus for saving me, I believe it and receive it right now, AMEN!

If you have prayed this prayer and meant it in your heart, God has thrown every sin you've ever committed into a sea of forgetfulness  never to remember them again! HE has forgiven you, so don't allow anyone else to condemn you because of your PAST. That is  where your sins are now, in the past. Let us keep them there by walking out together one careful, prayerful step at a time!

Keep in touch,
Your sister in Christ
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.


I read your article at PFOX website tonight 
I am a 53 year old man who has been freed from homosexuality by the power of Jesus Christ. I still struggle with temptations and the desires of the flesh, and have fallen a couple of times, but God has been faithful to be standing beside me to pick me up again, and get me back on the
path of his Righteousness! I was raised by true Godly parents and they and the rest of my family are so thankful to the true God who never gives up on his lost sheep and will go after them for MANY years to bring them back to Himself. I praise God for your ministry at Venus and the bold
stance you take on leaving the old lifestyle behind and walking with the Lord in the new direction he wants for us.
 
I would ask that you take a moment and share a prayer with and for me. Please pray for me to keep close to the Lord through daily Bible study, prayer and regular church attendance. (I am thankful that I attend a church with a pastor who takes a Biblical stance on what God says
about all sin in our lives. So many churches want to make us "feel good" and don't talk about sin and the consequences!)
 
Also, please pray for two friends of mine- Nathan and John.

Publisher's Note: I Read Your Article
Father in the name of Jesus I ask your blessing and divine guidance for my brother and his friends. I ask that you open blinded eyes and unstop
deaf ears so that your children can hear your voice. God I thank you for the anointing on Tom's life and I thank you for the strong
witness he has become. Strengthen him right now in the powerful name of Jesus. Let him know that you are in control of everything,
even the lives of his friends. Thank you Lord for the compassion he has, how he is willing to lay down his life for his friends to know the truth.
Save their souls and allow their testimonies to eventually go forth as a light in this dark world to save others. We will never fail to give you the honor,
the glory and the praise, in Jesus' name.
Now, unto Him who is able to keep us from falling, to the only wise God our father, be glory, majesty, dominion and power forever, AMEN!!

Your Sister in Christ,
Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

Your story has truly blessed me 
I give God all the honor and the glory for testimonies such as yours. After returning home from church I booted my laptop and uploaded CWN (Christian World News) and stumbled
across your story. I was surprised that I had not been exposed to it before now (11-10-07). Once I read the article I felt compelled to seek out more info on your miraculous experience. I found the Venus magazine website and proceeded to the 'Letters To The Editor's page.
I was moved by the letters, both for and against your transformation experience. I am a Bible believing Christian that has battled mightily with the unnatural desires of homosexuality for a great deal of my life. While I may be plagued by these un-Godly desires (as well as others), I have
made a conscious decision (choice) not to entertain those desires. I have made that choice because our heavenly Father has made it clear that the behavior is forbidden (sinful) and displeasing to Him. God has given mankind one of the greatest gifts a loving father can give. That gift is
he freedom of choice (a free will). I disagree with the "so-called scientific fact" that people are born gay/lesbian and cannot help themselves.

If this were true, God would be unjust in pronouncing judgment upon those who indulge in such behavior. While I do believe people are born with certain "desires", ultimately, it is a "conscious choice" which determines whether or not to indulge those desires. You can't stop a bird from
flying over your head but you can prevent it from making a nest in your hair. Violence, provoked by anger, is also an unnatural desire but it can only become murder if you make the conscious choice to kill as a result of that anger. No one in their right mind would set a murderer free with the excuse that they were born that way and couldn't help themselves. If that were the case, conviction would be unjust. For every blessed gift that God has given mankind, Satan has perverted it with a counterfeit. God has done a miraculous work in you and I pray that you will continue to abide in His presence and be a blessing to the countless number of others who struggle with this challenge. Til we meet in His kingdom, may  God Bless and keep you always.
 
A Brother In Christ
 
I have been married for 20 years
The marriage has not been smooth in that my spouse is very short fused and I have not been able to deal with it.  Over the years, I have been screamed at over the littlest mistakes made or for work done that did not meet my perfectionist husband’s standard.   The worst was when he slept with two domestic helpers. I felt that my world collapsed as he destroyed my position as the mistress of the house.  In the first case, he even requested that I let her finish her contract because it would not look odd that I sacked her in the midst of house moving.  I had to put up with their affair for a good eight months before I put my foot down to sack her.
A few years later he slept with yet another helper. That’s when my love for this person DIED.
I shared with my bible study friend and got myself into trouble. We ended up having a homosexual relationship. God has been merciful. He has time and time again rebuked us and told us to turn back. We have tried and we have decided that we love God and will obey.
Please pray with us and for us.

Publisher's Note: Father in the precious Name of Your Son Jesus
I ask for your grace and mercy to cover my sisters as they stand against the enemy of their souls.
Father strengthen them, as you have done for me. Touch and purify every secret place in their hearts where sin might hide itself. Give them the clarity of spirit they need to HEAR your voice and to continue to obey your commands knowing that you are a loving and forgiving Father. Give them the courage to place some distance and time between themselves so that you can CLEARLY speak the vision that you have for each to her heart. Speak Lord, so that there are no doubts that it is YOU, speak peace, speak OVER temptation, speak into their futures, speak healed hearts and speak NEW life, speak holy living, happiness and joy into their lives right now.

In Jesus' might name I pray, Amen.

-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

I'm quite desperate
I accepted Christ into my life a while ago, about 2 months. I want real repentance you know. I feel like I'm a gay kid. But I just can't accept it.
I know it's wrong. It is wrong. But it's so difficult to change and there are soo many forces that bring me back to square one whenever I try to change. I need help. I thought by writing this email you could somehow tell me to do stuff that will help me. I'm quite desperate.
Publisher's Note: I'm quite desperate
I'm elated to hear that you have accepted Christ. Real repentance means making a decision, no matter what, to move in a new direction. It is hard if you make it hard. It is easy if you do these things:
1. Discipline yourself toward prayer. Spend time in the presence of God each
day. Even if it feels awkward at first. Sometimes you don't know what to say
after you've said thank you God for all you've done. Don't worry! While you're
fumbling over your words, the Holy Spirit is making intercession for you
[praying the words you need to be praying]. This only happens when we humbly
place ourselves in God's presence. Carve out a certain time to DO THIS everyday.
    You've got to develop spiritual muscles that you have not been using in the
past. We can relate to going to the gym to workout. The goal is to have our
arms or mid-section look a certain way or to loose weight. The hardest part is
getting started. Also, once we start, we find that we get sore and tired at
first. But we know that only those who PUSH PAST that point are going to
achieve the outcome, a great looking body.
   So it is in the spirit. As new converts who truly want to please God, and
achieve a new life with all the satisfaction and deep happiness that living holy
brings, we have to PUSH PAST the initial 'soreness'.
2. Learn what God's Word says. Get it IN you. 
Join a good bible study group. Don't try to always study alone. Iron sharpens
iron. Its good to study with others who are studying the truth.
3. Redirect your thoughts USING God's word.
Write down three scripture phrases and post them on your frig or on a mirror.
These words will become the confirmation in your spirit reminding when you need
it most that 'you are a new creation, Old things have past away behold all
things have become new.' God's word will spring up like living water, if its IN
you.
4. Speak back to the enemy when he speaks to you.  Tell him he's a LIAR! I am
NOT the same. I will NOT call this one or that one. I WILL go to bible study
tonight. When you rebuke Satan in Jesus' name, this actually frightens him.
Its like saying to a criminal, 'the cops are right outside.' It sends a chill up
his back. He flees immediately, but will probably return when he thinks its
safe. Be ready to rebuke him again!
 
Hope this helps you. Keep in touch!
 
-Charlene
 
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.
www.VenusMagazine.org

I hope you remember me
I wrote you at the beginning of the year from Chile. I was first called by God at that time... I tried but I was not ready. God in his love gave me one more chance... he put a wonderful partner by my side, everything was wonderful. It was like if God was telling
me: OK, if you want to live a gay life... here's the best you can get... we will talk later.
I realized like many others that what I wanted was to be loved and not to be alone. Now I'm back to God again. He's nurturing me, holding me in his arms, and I will never leave him again. I'm not alone, not anymore. It's a blessing that your magazine keeps growing,
and it helped a lot of friends of mine, it's amazing the way that God help us out. I know I have a lot of work behind, but with God everything is possible. I need to heal mi soul, mi feelings and my past. But thank you for sharing your testimony and message with us.
If there's anything that I can do for you, let me know. We can continue to translate into Spanish and share some of the articles of your magazine... or anything you can think of.
Your brother in Christ.
Iván

Publisher's Note: I hope you remember me
Thank God for you and I am so thankful for His mercy toward us. When you mention 'he [God] put a wonderful partner by my side...'
I understand how you felt but It is important to discern that the spirit that presented itself as 'a wonderful partner' was not God. I will present proof of this in scripture when we talk later. God is faithful and just to forgive us and still offers us the best of His kingdom once He knows we mean it with our whole heart.  I am glad to hear your report that many are helped by our ministry. I will pray that you are strengthened and will grow in leaps toward perfection!
Love from your Sister,
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.

After spending roughly 20 years in it 
Yes, praise God through Jesus Christ our Lord who 'Saved' me and brought me out of the gay lifestyle after spending roughly 20 years in it!  Like the Prodigal Son, I finally reached the bottom of the barrel and needed someone who would pull me up out of this lifestyle and Praise Jesus, He pulled me up and out of the 'chosen' lifestyle and thru John 3:16, showed me the only way, which is thru Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
 
 
Restore and create the woman he intended me to be
I personally find God continually reveals His amazing work each day I continue my walk with Him. I myself have been given a rebirth in the life of Christ and the truth on my life as it was and what it is meant to be. Blessings to Charlene and I commend her on the impact and the magnitude that it will open a hurting and lost (for a lack of better words). Lost reminds me of the clueless but there is an abundance of those searching for God and acceptance without a clue of how to find it. I left a 13 year relationship of what I believed was true love for the search the true God our Father. I attended church of every religion even with my partner none to which fed my spirit. (We even said we where sisters just to not be shunned by religion.) The ache and hunger I have for Christ has led me to freedom inside and outside. Now I attend a Pure Love Ministry that has opened me to allow God to restore and create the woman he intended me to be. By the way I am not big on race or nationality. I am the whitest thing in my church of which is made up of every color, creed, and backgrounds known just about.
But through the Holy Spirit that is where we all become one. I will close by asking a blessing upon this magazine and each and every person to whom their hearts are affected, impacted, or shaken by the true gift Charlene has to offer.
     The church is rising up and He is bringing up His Kingdom so each and every heart (shattered, broken, wandering, or lost) will have a chance to hear His voice calling forth. To know that wherever we are and whatever the circumstance there is a loving God before you offering His truth and love. He is a healer, counselor, teacher, and Great Redeemer. Praise Him.
It took several years to break down the walls of pain, frustration, selfishness, free will, addictions (drugs),denial, wavering, and co-dependency before really receiving the Freedom in love, glory, and mercy.


After 32 years...
I have decided to come out of the lifestyle. I tried before but went back. Please keep me in your prayers. I have changed my phone number, and stay in the word. I visit your website everyday and read. Thanks for speaking out. 

Publisher's Note: After 32 years
Thank God for your strong stand for ETERNAL life. That's what its all about, isn't it? I will keep you in my prayers. You have said something that is VERY powerful that most don't understand. You said, I have DECIDED. Keeping your commitment to Christ is about making up your mind, making a DECISION to let nothing, not temptation, old thoughts and patterns--they will surface, but we have victory OVER Satan. DON'T let him think he has won just because he 'suggested' that you are no different, that you still look at women, NO! You do not have to struggle. Speak back to that lying spirit and say Satan, the Lord rebuke you!!! Satan MUST flee when you call on Jesus by NAME. Use this heavenly principle given to us by the Lord and watch how Satan will LEAVE YOU ALONE. Your mind is strong, your prayer life is active, He'll go find someone else to lie to. YOU are FREE! Keep me in your prayers.

Charlene E. Cothran 
The Evidence Ministry, Inc.
www.VenusMagazine.org
 
 
I wanted to let you know
that your article blessed me. I am African-American and was a lesbian for 25 years before the Lord saved me.  I stopped reading Venus back in 2004 but I am excited to pick it up again. I thank God for giving you the strength and courage to go forward in Him. I am grateful for your walk. Keep doing what your doing and know that God is using you in a mighty way to touch people
lives and change their hearts. Thank you for the encouragement and the honesty you share.
 
In Him,
Glendolyn Stallsworth
DFW, TX
 
"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I
do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those
things which are before."
 
I was so excited to read of your transformation!
I too, was set free my homosexuality (11 years ago) and have been experiencing the Freedom that only He can offer. He will use you in a mighty way. There are more and more of "us" being called out and called on....I too have a speaking ministry and am so humbled every time I read of another brother or sister "coming home".
 
Keep fighting the good fight!
Living in Freedom,
Heidi McLane
 
I left the life a long time ago
My name is Frenchie and I just finished reading your article10 Ways to get out of the life and wanted to thank you for telling it like it is. It took a lot of courage to be as passionate about your new life as you were about your old life. I do think the Lord called us out to do good for Him and let people see you can change your life and work for Him in a new way. Isn't it funny how He speaks to us when we don't even know He is talking to us. I left the life a long time ago and had to leave some friends behind because we are not on the same road anymore. I still love them, but I can't walk with them the way I use to do. I do pray for them and their salvation and that they come to know what an AWESOME GOD WE SERVE. May God richly bless and keep you using your talents to Glorify Him.
 
Your Sister in Christ
Frenchie Ocean, NJ


I find myself visiting your website 
as often as I feel impressed to do so and continue to pray for you and those that have recently made the decision to come to Christ. The testimonies and encouragements bless me to see that there are many who have made the decision to follow Christ and leave the homosexual lifestyle. I appreciate the words of encouragement and re-direction you offer your readers. I respect and rejoice that your foundation is God’s word.
     However, the testimonies I have read seem to illustrate getting from homosexuality to Christianity but do not mention the “in-between”, the mental and emotional struggles. Though I turned my life over to Christ 18 years ago, it took a couple of years for me to “let go” of the mentality I had adhered to. God had delivered me from the lust of wanting to be with women the instant I gave my heart to him, however my healing was a process. Though I wanted to go after my newfound freedom, I struggled with the emotions and the mentality that were attached to the old lifestyle. In other words, God had taken me out of Egypt, but He had yet to get Egypt out of me. “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.” Our struggles are a part of the process and I believe that is the part that is usually omitted from our testimonies.
     Throughout the years I have heard many a testimony of “arriving”, but seldom do people share the process. Now, I know that there are many who experience a “Damascus” experience, who never look back once they have been delivered. However, there are those that are like the people of Egypt who take the “long road home” and sometimes look back several times before they are completely healed from the Egypt they left behind. Many turn back to that Egypt because they feel disillusioned. I believe mainly because they are not forewarned that their new freedom is a process of knowledge and acceptance. As has been the case of many of my lesbian friends who have made the decision to accept Christ, but have returned to the lifestyle they felt most comfortable with. Once the challenge of renewing their minds came up and they were challenged with familiar thoughts and emotions, they found it easier to return to what they believed to be their origin. Though God delivers us there are actions we must take - we “must work out our own salvation”. We must cast down thoughts that exalt themselves against the word of God.” Deliverance and healing work hand in hand yet are very distinctive. In receiving my healing I had to be willing to allow God to help me confront the sin where it originated. In doing so, I had to ask God to reveal my heart and be willing to be brutally honest with God and myself. I would come to understand that my sexual preference was the affect not the cause. I had exchanged God’s truth for what I thought to be wise (cause) – He then gave me over to my lusts, henceforth lesbianism (affect). Conversion is more than just “praying about it”, there has to be a balance. There has to be submission, confrontation, acceptance, repentance, wisdom, knowledge, understanding and prayer – not to mention acknowledgment and awareness of process. Though our spirit is reborn, there is still the contention of our soul (will and emotions). Many exchange one extreme for another, as sinners we attend to our soul and leave our spirits unattended. As Christians we can sometimes attend to our spirits and leave our souls unattended. “May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1Thessolonians 5:23). God is a God of balance and we need to make sure that every part of us is attended to.
 
I guess I write because I am burdened for those who struggle with their newfound freedom - those that are challenged in their suffering in allowing God to bring healing to their brokenness. I would like to encourage them and assure them that the process is very much worth it. “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” I pray for those suffering through their struggles will persevere as their character is built and their hope is being extended (building is a process and hope is the extension of that process) – may they come to the acceptance that this journey is to be taken one day at a time, one step at a time. May they not loose hope, but persevere into their destiny.
-Liz

Is that all it takes...?
I must be doing something wrong. I really don't know what else to do, I've tried that, and I've believed with all my soul that it was true that it did happen, that it was all gone, but yet they keep coming back, and my tongue gets frozen into my mouth when they hit me. Yes I know
you're going to say "That Satan is trying to have you not have authority over him" I agree 100% in that... but I really don't know, when it hits me I feel like a completely different person, like I have two minds fighting for control of me.
In the interview I watched you on, ... you said that as soon as you gave your life to Christ all those lustful feelings towards the same sex went away immediately. That amazes me so, I've been fighting it for a little over 2 and half years so far. But I keep backsliding right to where I was when Christ got me, and I hate that, I desperately hate it.
One other person says I should tell my mother or someone in my church to confide in
about this. She says Satan uses that secrecy of this to hold me bondage, and I don't doubt that one bit at all, ...] but, people would never expect this problem to be in my life, and so many people look up to me in my church, so many of the youth my age look to me for guidance and like a role model. I don't wanna make them stumble and fall with me. I'm held to a high esteem in my church, especially for my age. And then my mother, I can't tell her simply because she's going through basically a life crisis right now, and I'm basically the only thing holding her together. I can't put my burdens on her when she needs me to help her with hers. This is so complicated I feel like I've been cornered with no where to go. I could probably type more and more about what I think caused my homosexuality to spring up in my life etc. Not sure how to end, but I need some more advice, something.

With much thanks

Publisher's Note: Is that all it takes?
When you first wrote me, I replied privately to you about the Apostle Paul and how he struggled after He was saved. Your heart's cry is the same as his cry in this passage of scripture: Romans 7:14-25. Paul absolutely hated the fact that he ended up wanting to do the very thing he was trying not to do. He concluded that it wasn't him [his new mind], but sin in him [his 'members' or flesh] that HAD to do these things. Paul went on to say that there is NO good thing in the flesh and to live for Christ we must KILL the flesh daily, so that it will not rule over us.
After praying over your second message to me, I feel led to ask you a series of questions and to share a bible story that resembles the mind set you now describe. Have you totally submitted yourself to the righteousness of God? In other words are you willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to be free and to stay free? Read Romans 10:1-3. I know you have a devotion towards God but are you trying to establish your own brand of righteousness? [I just want the gay thing gone, I'll KEEP the rest of my sins...ie. great sex with the opposite-sex!] You've got to Give God Everything.
You mentioned how astonished you are that I was fully delivered when I met Jesus that day. Many do not believe that instant healing from homosexuality can take place. I do not understand their doubts. Homosexuality is an unclean spirit. Jesus cast out unclean spirits throughout the bible and people were made whole 'that very hour'. I have never read in the bible where a person was delivered from their demons then Jesus gives them the business card of a therapist to finish the job. I am not saying that therapy is quackery. It is not. But things of the spirit can only be healed by He who is spirit. It is the testimony of many that they still struggle after coming to Christ and I cannot say that this is not true for them. This is NOT my testimony.
I am reminded in Luke 8:26-39 of a certain man that had unclean spirits in him for along time. People tried to contain him by chaining him up but he'd break the chains, so he was forced to live in the wilderness. The demons were in COMPLETE control of him. He wore no clothes. One day Jesus sees the man but the demons in him recognize Jesus and beg in a loud voice not to be cast out of the man. Then Jesus speaks directly to the demons, and casts them into a heard of swine. The people of the region were astonished to find the man 'clothed and in his right mind.' Verse 36 illuminates my point ..'he that was possessed of the devils was HEALED.' The man didn't 'struggle' any further after that day. He was so grateful for his healing that he wanted to follow Jesus. Jesus sent him back to his home to TESTIFY [the Word says 'publish'] throughout the city about the great things Jesus had done for him.
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.org

I saw a Youtube rebuttal of your 700 Club appearance
I  had never heard of your magazine before I saw a Youtube rebuttal of your 700 Club appearance. I now plan to subscribe. I am a white woman and obviously cannot say I have been through all of what you have been through in your life, but your lesbian story is also my lesbian story. Starting from your college experience...all of it. I am presently in a long distance "relationship" with someone that I have not yet ended. I have never been able to reconcile my feelings for the Lord with my lifestyle. The other day I started reading Valorie Burton's "Why Not You?" and got to the part about what is really holding me back from being what God intended for me to be. Well, this is not who I am or what God intended for me to do! It couldn't be any simpler but also could not be any harder to pry yourself out from under 30 years. I have never felt comfortable in this lifestyle and feel that I was not born this way but fell into this situation for many reasons. 
About 4 years ago I left this lifestyle and was happier than I had ever been in my life. Then Satan dropped a couple of lesbians right into my neighborhood. I became attracted to the lifestyle again out of sheer loneliness. When you leave 30 years of people, you have no support system. When no one else shows you attention, they will. When no one else is attracted to you, they are. I read my bible but did not go to church. I was afraid to go to church in a somewhat small town situation for fear that someone would know my history and cause me to be removed from the church. I have many questions to ask you but I will keep this short...how do you replace a lifetime of friends and how do you find a church? These are two overwhelming questions to me. I also pray that my long distance significant other, who is basically just a friend, finds someone so that I am off the hook. I'm sure you hear that all the time too :)
Do not be discouraged. Thanks for having the courage to step up and be who you were meant to be and to help others. I have long felt that this is my calling also, should God give me the strength to do it.
Kathy 

Publisher's Note: YouTube Rebuttal
Kathy, I'm really glad you stumbled across the YouTube rebuttal to my 700 Club appearance. I am not at all discouraged. In fact I rejoiced when I saw it. I knew once I viewed it that the attempt by my old colleagues to discredit my testimony would only serve to bring someone closer to the truth about homosexuality...it is sin, it is NOT what God intended for us.   
There are three things I want to minister to you:
1. The truth is you cannot replace those old friends BUT friendship can begin anew with those who God will also call out of homosexuality. This has happened for me. Of the many gay friends and associates I had of the 30 years, God gave me a good friend in one of my freelance writers who also received true conversion 3 years ago. Now, we enjoy discussing the goodness of the Lord together. We understand and know many of the same people, events, organizations. We talk about how God is moving over us and others to present the truth to the church and to the world concerning homosexuality. Having this ONE [old] friend in Jesus is very rich.
God will also give you new friends. Be patient, be watchful and be a good friend yourself, expecting nothing in return.
2. How to find a church...ASK GOD TO LEAD YOU. This is so important. Are you developing an ACTIVE prayer life? If you are, then place this request on your altar. I have moved to a new city and am now asking God to lead me to a new bible-believing fellowship where I can serve and grow. I ASK God, then I listen and watch with my spirit to see where God will lead me. The results so far have been incredible! I have not yet joined a fellowship, I've only been here 3 weeks but I have met some wonderful, Holy Ghost filled people who I would not have met had I not been following God's lead.
3. You are already 'off the hook' with regard to your long distance relationship. Your 'other' doesn't need to find someone else first before you can declare yourself free. YOU must declare yourself free by declaring the truth in heart and with your mouth that YOU are free. Then witness to her the same good news.

God Bless you!
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.org

 I struggle and toggled back and forth for years
I read your article Redeemed! 10 Ways to Get Out of the Gay Life, If You Want Out. In watching your podcast interview on CNBC.com I agree with your statement that there are a lot of gay men and women out there who struggle with their lifestyle daily and have grown up in the church with a huge conflict. I struggle and toggled back and forth for years. I have been celibate but not disengaged with the lifestyle meaning I do have friends that are gay. I don't have a desire to live this very displeasing lifestyle.
Your comments and article reminded me of Donnie McClurkin's book Eternal Victim, Eternal Victor because the message is equivalent. My struggle was being a Christian and accepting that I can not have this relationship with God and partake in the life. It's not a struggle anymore. I accept that this lifestyle was not meant for me.
I disagree with your comment about homosexuality being a choice. I think it is for some people and I think it is innate for some as well. I grew up in a heterosexual environment and I remember when I was very small having a level of 'interest' in boys watching old Tarzan movies and Batman and Robin. The attraction and curiosity was there since the age of sexual awareness. However, my Christian belief is that God created man and woman for procreation thusly homosexuality is not his calling.
As a result of your stand I'm sure you have received a lot of negative backlash from the gay/lesbian community but sacrificing your magazine touched my heart because you were willing to give up a huge part of what you have established for God. Bless you. But on the other hand you have also reached many folks like myself who are not happy with this lifestyle.
I wish I was as loyal in my devotion.
-Rodney

Thank you so much!
I have declared my deliverance and now I will walk in it!! I will walk in the spirit so I won't fulfill the lust of my flesh. God is even making ways of escape for me!! And blessing me simultaneously and
unconditionally! I love him and I thank him so much!! I know that your freedom road has been so much more fulfilling than the road of sin and I hope that I can continue to meet people who have been delivered...
I go to a church where the pastor calls people who are struggling "sissies" and "dykes." I kinda find that discouraging for people who wanna come out cause what if they would wanna talk to the pastor about it?? U know? But I have found some other people to talk to but most importantly I talk to Jesus. He understands better and knows more about me so I have no other choice. Thank you for being one of the examples I can look at.
Love Your sister in Christ,
Jessica

Publisher's Note: Thank you so much!
Dear Jessica,
Praise God for FREEDOM! I love your powerful proclamation! That's it! We must DECLARE our freedom! You are a powerful witness! I understand exactly what you mean about the 'sissie' and 'dyke' sermons. I have confronted many clergy about their abusive language in their sermons. God is all about crushing sin, not people. Although clergy who use terms like 'sissie' and 'dyke' are attempting to intimidate the SPIRIT of sin IN the person, they actually end up crushing the PERSON who is trapped IN that wrong spirit. For this cause many gays will not go to church or have turned away from the true God and created a God's of their own who tell them what they want to hear. I believe in calling sin what it is but describe a person in a way that might draw him to Christ.
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.org


You are weakening the souls of the most oppressed people
I would like to respectfully point out that the change in scope of your magazine from affirmation to evangelical criticism is and will be a huge detriment to the black gay community and the gay community in general. I am extraordinarily offended by your decision to extend your personal experience to all people of a similar sexual orientation, and by your willingness to pander to the stronghold of religious conservatism that has taken over this country. It is interesting that your decision to become a born-again Christian has led you to change your message to people of your community from one of strength to one of degradation. You are weakening the souls of the most oppressed people in this country, claiming privilege for yourself in the process.
Signed
Rosemary Harris
You never were really truly gay in the first place
Since your life has been turned around by the Lord, have you had encounters with gays/lesbians/bisexuals/transgenders who tell you that you never were really truly gay in the first place?
Of course I am not asking this because I feel this way, I am greatly encouraged to read your story, as I am involved in a couple of very small groups on myspace of people who have renounced the gay lifestyle, but I have a friend of mine who is saying she is a gay Christian and that after 23 years of being celibate, she finally made peace with the fact that God has "left her gay" for a reason. She said for twenty three years she pleaded with God to remove the desire, and finally gave up. I asked her last year had she "renounced" the life and made the decision to live for God in all that she does including admitting that the gay life is sin, but she said that being gay is not a sin, and that people who use the story of Sodom wrongfully, announcing that the angels did not destroy the town because of the two men that went to Lots house, but rather for all other kinds of sin, that the word homosexual was derived by man, not God.
She has said to me repeatedly that I never was gay, but in fact bi-sexual, and a "true gay person", can never lose the desire. I will send you my testimony as soon as I hear back from you. I so enjoyed reading yours, the link was sent to me by a friend.
 God bless.

Publisher's Note: You never were really truly gay in the first place
I get the 'you were never gay in the first place' statement from gays all the time. I simply refer them to the scriptures. There was a blind man who met Jesus on a road and Jesus touched his eyes and his eyes came open. The Pharisees then asked his parents, Was he REALLY blind??? Maybe he just had some temporary condition on his eyes. He couldn't have been really blind! His parents said, he's of age, ask him yourself. So they did ask him; Were you REALLY blind? and this Jesus is he REALLY the son of God? The man answered, I don't know if Jesus is the son of God or not, all I know is I ONCE WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE!
This is the same thing that modern day Pharisees are asking us now, Were you REALLY gay? Then they ask, What about the bible being used to support slavery for centuries, what about the bible being used to keep inter-racial couples apart? How can you believe in something link this? My answer, I do not know why or how people twisted the Word of God for evil causes, all I know is I ONCE WAS BLIND, I ONCE WAS BOUND, I ONCE WAS LESBIAN, BUT NOW I'M FREE, all because Jesus touched me.
I recently preached on this very subject during my initial sermon titled "Walk After the Spirit." This sermon helped believers understand how to STAY FREE from bondage. Romans 8:1-14 says that it is the spirit of Christ MAKES us free, but walking after the spirit KEEPS us free! The sermon offers sound biblical principles on how to maintain your new salvation and NOT fall back into the sins of the flesh. I share many of the question that gays and lesbians ask and answer them with the inspiration of the Holy Ghost.
 
God Bless you!
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.org
I never thought that I would find myself writing these words...
I among many others in the Atlanta area who knew and loved Venus thought that you were blaspheming her name and using her legacy for your own personal and professional gains. I cannot tell you about the number of emails and telephones calls that ensued when you changed the direction of the magazine.
I, for one, personally thought that I had been born gay and that homosexuality for me was as natural as being black or female. I personally did not see anything wrong with my lifestyle and was not seeking "deliverance.''
 Over the next couple of weeks God began to deal with me about my past, present and future. I realized that I was not living an authentic life and though I had submitted parts of my life to God that I had not surrendered in entirely."
 Once I consulted with God and asked his forgiveness and totally surrendered my will I quickly understood the difference between "abstinence" and "deliverance." Today, I don't know what the future holds but do I know that my life has been forever changed. I have a peace now that I never had previously.
In retrospect, I know that if Venus were here today she would be saying, "Well done, Jr. (her nickname for me) Well done..." Thank you again, Charlene, for your efforts and please let me know if there is anything that I can do to be of assistance to you in the future.
Sheila

Publisher's Note: I never thought
To God be the Glory! My heart is leaping with joy! Of all the old gang, I would NEVER have thought I'd get a message like this from you! God, you are so amazing! I know that Venus is also celebrating that we have found and now articulate the truth about this life. I especially celebrate because you knew Venus as well as I did! Your testimony serves as a witness that truth changes lives. I don't care what people have to say about me, all I ask of God is that SOULS to be delivered. All the same folks who called you about me will now call each other and talk about you, but don't worry. This is 'light affliction' and nothing to be compared to the peace and joy we have and the promises of God we have inherited. Also, many of those now talking will someday come to you [by night, the scriptures say] and ask how they too can get free. We'll be there for them, not judging but presenting the truth with the love of Christ.
Sheila, stay in the Word. You can't make it without a strong prayer life and the Word. I'll be in touch soon!
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.org
I'm a 24 years old pastor's son,
an architecture and theology student, and the worship team leader in my church. I have been a secret gay all my life.
Some of my church friends discovered my internet records and knew I was gay. They try to help me and in a way did but they don't understand. Tonight I was crying my eyes out, I have many friends but I feel so lonely, and afraid. I'm very afraid of the rejection.
I have try many times to get out of the gay lifestyle but I CAN'T. I had lost all hope until searching YouTube, I found Charlene E. Cothran with the Club 700. I kept viewing all the clips I found about Miss Cothran and my faith was built. I pray and cry and shake and after all I have so much joy and peace, I'm embracing life now. I know there is a real life out there. The gay lifestyle is just torture and fake. Please keep your testimony rolling we need more people like you. I could truly say that I'm an ex-gay. If you changed I can change too.

I LOVE U CHARLENE AND ALL THE VENUS STAFF.

Sincerely,
Ken from New York

Publisher's Note:  pastor's son
Ken, We love you too! Praise God for you! Now in order to hold on to your new 'YES' [commitment to Christ] you must remember to pray often and early. Read Romans 8: 1-14. Once we give Christ our whole heart, we must learn to Walk After the Spirit and NOT after the flesh. You can make it. Christ is walking WITH you. I'm walking WITH you. You are in my prayers always.
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.org
God is delivering me out of this lifestyle
I just read your "Redeemed" article, and I must say your encouragement and in-depth findings came straight from God.
God is delivering me out of this lifestyle as well, and it was His divine will that led me to your article. Your
article offers so much hope and love. I know that through this storm in my life, God has something so great and much
more than I could have ever imagined in store for me. I cannot wait for him to use me because of this, and I am
reminded that through our suffering we become complete and mature (James 1:4). When I feel tossed around and confused because of the devil, I am reminded when God said to me clear as can be, "I have something so much better for you!" It is in my faith in Him not only to deliver me from this lifestyle, but use me beyond my wildest dreams for his
kingdom, that I find the strength to fight the fight. Thank you for your testimony, and I pray that God will continue to
use to reach out to the gay community.

God with us,
B. Sanderson
Oxford, MS

I tried to stop being a lesbian 8 yrs ago
A friend recently emailed me your story about how you have gotten out of the lesbian lifestyle.  I just want to say a big thank you for writing about your experience. I too am a lesbian who has stopped this lifestyle for almost half a year now.  I have been a Christian for 25yrs.  I tried to stop being a lesbian 8 yrs ago but failed because my walk with God was not close.  This is my second attempt and I know that I can be successful because I am walking so much closer with God now.  Please pray for me though cause it is a struggle nevertheless. You will be in my prayers too.
Publisher's Note: I tried to stop
My sister, I thank God for you. I want to encourage you on your journey. Know that you have NO power, on your own, to stop any sin of the flesh. BUT, through the power of Christ, and WALKING AFTER THE SPIRIT, you can overcome. Read Romans 8th Chapter. People always want to know how I was able to stop being a lesbian after 30 years and mostly how I now maintain...By WALKING AFTER THE SPIRIT. If you BELIEVE God, then you can hold to the power GIVEN by BELIEVING that you are SET FREE. I chose to BELIEVE God and He rewarded me with deliverance! I'm not special. He'll reward any sinner with deliverance based on her measure of faith.
God is reaching people beyond the gay lifestyle
A friend sent me the link to your site to read about coming out of the gay lifestyle. It is rather ironic because I am a 44yo straight male who has been recently divorced. God spoke profoundly to me through the testimonies of Charlene E. Cothran and Dawn J. Douglas about the sin and poor choices in relationships I've made in my own life. The light has really begun to shine in my life as I learn to give everything over to God and let the Blood of Jesus Christ wash me clean.
Know that God is reaching people beyond the gay lifestyle through you. May HE richly bless you and keep you.
Your Brother in Christ,
 GW
Thank you. The article is Holy ghost and Word powerful.
The presentation of the Gospel shall transform lives.  I AM SEEKING JESUS. I AM LOOKING FOR HIM TO BE REAL IN MY LIFE. HE DOES GIVES SECOND CHANCES. I GOT A SECOND CHANCE. I ASKED HIM TO CHANGE ME. I CRIED OUT TO HIM IN MY MESS AND HE HEARD ME. I AM REAL WITH GOD. I AM WORKING ON A MASTER'S IN COUNSELING. I AM FROM MICHIGAN. I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO BE THE WITNESS. PLEASE KEEP TELLING YOUR STORY.

I watched you last night as you spoke on the 700 club
I had read about you and your testimony on several sites and was actually so taken aback as someone had felt the same way as I did. I was raised in the church, a Christian with a strong belief in God. I have been attracted to men for as long as I can remember though. This was always a source of inner conflict for me. I believe what the word of God says, so I struggle. Please know that your testimony was one that moved me and pray for me as I seek direction and guidance…

Publisher's Note: I watched you
Father in the Name of Jesus, Lord send an angel of release to my brother's inner being. Unlock the lie that keeps him trapped in this when he knows the truth.  Shine a light in him that can be seen across the globe, as you have done for me. Call his name so loud in his soul that he cannot rest until he completely surrenders to your will. Lord show him who he is truly is in your mighty Kingdom. Set him free by the blood of Jesus. Amen.
Brother, it is done, if you believe that it is done. Now walk as though it is done. I'm sharing with you how I got free. Don't wait to 'feel' different. You've got to claim it and start walking toward it, with determination to let NOTHING separate you from this great salvation. Contact me anytime. I will walk out with you if you want to be free. Do not let Satan deceive you into thinking, 'only once more, I can't resist...' its a lie. I am free and I do NOT struggle because I gave God my whole heart. If you only had a clue as to how sweet this intimate communion with Christ is... you simply cannot compare it to any fleshly pleasure. It just doesn't measure up. I wouldn't give up trusting God, peace, joy, true worship, having my needs miraculously met....not for the lust of anyone. Satan knows its too late! So now he's lying to anyone else who'll listen. Don't let it be you. Walk out and into FULL and TRUE fellowship with God. Its the best decision you'll ever make. This will have a profound impact on the rest of your life.
Keep in touch,
-Charlene
 
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.org
 
 I stumbled across your article
called "Redeemed! 10 Ways to Get Out of the Gay Life, If You Want Out." It really made an impact on me. I'm not emailing to give a testimony though, but rather for some help. I am 21 years old and I've struggled with homosexual feelings ever since the 3rd grade. I've also been a Christian, but have had obsessive compulsive thoughts constantly running through my head about whether I really was gay and whether it was really right or wrong. Now I know, after 21 years that it's wrong and I had to experience two things before I could come to this conclusion; a serious lesbian relationship, and reading this article/coming closer to God.

Right now, I am still in this serious relationship with a 24 year old girl and I do love her. We began dating about 8 months ago, and right away I could notice that those obsessive thoughts became more prevalent. I was confused for a long time. I thought that she made me happy, because she was someone I could cuddle with, talk to, and who understands me. Yet, for some reason, I felt more depressed as well. I was spending all of my time with her, losing friends, and feeling like I was drifting away from God. The first time we had sex I balled my eyes out the next day. Gradually though, I have began to enjoy it with her, and we are like two peas in a pod right now. I can do anything around her and feel totally comfortable. This is the first real relationship I've ever had in my life, and so I've never felt so loved before.

Yet, this summer I've been spending more time away from her. See, I work 2 hours south in __ and only see her once a week. I'm starting to become closer to God, and in the midst of this, I read your article and have felt more distant from her. I'm writing this now, because I don't know what to do. I mean, of course I should just break up with her, but it's not that easy. See, we are supposed to move in together in 3 weeks, and I have no other place to go and she has no other roommate lined up other than me. Also, her home is in__, and she is staying in __ working full time until I graduate from college so that we can eventually get married and spend the rest of our lives together. I would be moving in with her and taking her roommates spot, so her lease doesn't end until February.

She knows of the problems I've had with peace in my mind about being gay and Christian, and she knows that one day I may break up with her for it, yet she is still with me because she is in love with me. She's had plenty of girlfriends before me, but has never felt the way she has with me and thinks I'm her soulmate. She is not exactly a Christian, and so that hurts me. Although, she told me that she'd start going to church with me and she has already read "Blue Like Jazz," which is a great Christian book and she felt moved. My question is, do I break up with her now and leave her miserable and hanging to find another roommate, stuck in __ where she has no family and friends and without God? Or should I move in with her and try and bring her closer to God, take her to church, so that she will understand when the time comes, why I'd break up with her?

There's just so many reasons as to why I'd like to move in with her though. See, before I had a relationship with her, I thought I could still be gay, and now that I'm with her, this experience has actually helped me realize that being gay is wrong. As much as I love her and she loves me, I still feel sad when she tries to hold my hand in public, when I think of telling my parents, when I think of having kids with gay parents; it's disheartening. I'm just so attached to her though, and maybe I need some more time with her until perhaps we get on each other's nerves living together and she realizes as well that it won't work. I tried breaking up with her in the beginning of our relationship 3-4 times, but she said she'd be crushed the rest of her life and that I ruined it and would never want to talk to me again. If i live with her and break up with her, she is forced to see me and she has to eventually understand why and hear more of the Word of God. Also, when the lease will be up shortly after I'll break up with her, so she could move back to Minnesota with her family and friends to comfort her.

I'm really worried about her, and myself. See, the first couple times I tried breaking up with her, I had this sick, horrible feeling of utter loneliness when I did it, as if I had made a horrible mistake. How can you explain that? She's so perfect for me in so many ways, and if I were to have one relationship in my life, she'd be it. I love her, I love spending time with her, but I still don't feel at peace with God. And so, I ended up getting back together with her immediately and I know I need to be strong enough this next and final time to not do that and I honestly don't know if I can yet. Please help, as I have prayed about this many times to God and wish for Him to do His Will with me.

Publisher's Note: I stumbled across your article
You have poured out your heart so sincerely and been very honest about your feelings for your mate and your distance from God that this false relationship creates. Half of the battle is won in that you KNOW the truth, that gay life is NOT pleasing to the Lord. But here is what you may not know, spiritually. When we KNOW the truth yet continue to sin against God, this creates a deep seeded confusion to the soul, heart, mind. You can't tell the real thing from a fake when it comes to genuine love. The enemy, Satan, is very cunning and able to work through our flesh and emotions. So he will have you thinking that if YOU don't stay with her, she'll do this or that. Or that you'll become so sad and lonesome that you just won't make it.  Its all a lie. Satan's job is to keep you trapped in this and trust me when I say it will only get worse, in your soul, if you stay. No one is worth missing heaven over!
I don't know you personally but, I can feel the enemy fighting for your soul. He wants to KEEP you under a veil of deception...["maybe I need some more time with her until perhaps we get on each other's nerves living together and she realizes as well that it won't work...If I live with her and break up with her, she is forced to see me and she has to eventually understand why and hear more of the Word of God.]...this is pure deception. Don't fool yourself into believing that God needs or wants you to live in sin in order to have His Word heard. You know better than that. I feel you...you have become so emotionally attached that you are AFRAID of the pain that may be caused by the separation. This tells me that although you have believed on Christ, you have not yet learned to TRUST in Him. You simply won't let yourself trust Him. I want you to know that heaven is waiting for you to give Christ your WHOLE heart. Only when you are willing to risk it all, like He did for you at Calvary, that's when the peace comes to replace the loneliness and pain caused by sin. I know that walking into holiness and closeness with God can be a time of being alone, but its only for a short while. God takes this time to feed you, build you up, encourage you, love you and speak to you, reveal His plans for your life- plans of peace that you may come to an expected end. If you do not break it off now, this root of sin could deepen into a situation from which you may not recover. That's what happened to my friend VENUS. Venus knew it wasn't working with her mate in the first two months. But the woman clung and Venus needed somewhere to live so she stayed. When Venus finally got it together to leave, the woman--heart broken and depressed--shot Venus then killed herself. While they were together, everyone thought they were such a 'sweet couple'. Don't let Satan fool you. You have the truth in your belly. Now use your head. God is calling you to come home and work for HIM. He's got so many GOOD things in store for you! Things you can't even image!
I am praying for you to be strong. We will walk out with you. She will be FINE, not matter how it looks or sounds at first. You both will be just fine. TRUST God for courage and peace of mind.
 
Father in the name of your Son Jesus, I ask you to cover my sister. Help this young sister as she struggles to break free. I rebuke the bonds around her mind and soul. I come against everything that would have her blinded and confused by the enemy. Lord I ask you to touch her right now, give her a deep desire to seek YOU.  Take away her fear of loneliness and rejection. The enemy has lied to her heart to make her believe that this 'love' is all she'll ever experience.  Lord, manifest yourself to her right now, that she might know that YOUR love for her is greater than any love and better than a false relationship. Lord, help her to draw nigh unto you so that you can softly speak to her soul. Lord let her know that you know her name! That you know all about her, that you care for her and love her. Lord, reveal to her who she is in your Kingdom, how you plan to use her life for your glory. Show her your healing power, bind up that sore ache in her soul that appears when she thinks of leaving sin. Show her what JOY & PEACE and ABUNDANT LIFE awaits on the other side of walking through this break. Let her know that you are with her every step of the way and that YOU will keep and care for her ex. Anointed her head with the oil of encouragement and strength, in Jesus' Name, I pray. Amen.
My sister, be strong in the Lord and in the power of HIS might, not your own, but HIS might.
Keep in touch.
 
-Charlene
 
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VENUSMagazine.org
-Charlene
I hope that you still remember me 
I still have you on our Board of Directors. I also wrote an article for the "First Annual Family issue" [in VENUS years ago]under the "Nubian mothers". You also gave me an invitation to go to the South Africa Consulate Aids events.  I just got my hands on your magazine "Redeemed! 10 Ways to Get Out of the Gay Life". I am very happy for you. I have also found the GOD again five years ago, am married and a Deaconess in my church. I have read some of the negative comments in the articles and I wanted to tell you, that GOD is still in your corner and in the miracle working business. There is no shame in finding the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  We  have just passed through some things that at the time seemed right to us. But as the scripture said "there are ways unto a man that seems right, but it leads to death" Prov 14: 12. Please hold fast to that which is good.    
The organization has started back and has been doing well. I have picked up my missionary work and we still travel to take care of the poor. We have some good volunteers and some that did not stay (I realize now that this is something that your heart needs to be in it). We have begun to recruit again for new people and new board members. I hope to see you soon. Please keep in touch and GOD bless.  
  
Glenda White- Hills, MHS ADS
President & CEO
Millennium Sistahs Inc.

Publisher's Note: still remember me
Glenda, yes, I remember you and your enthusiastic participation in that 'family' issue. Isn't God grand, to have brought us safely to a new place where we can now say, 'I once was blind but now I see!' We DO NOT publish every email sent, in fact we only consider publishing those marked 'Letter to Editor' however I am publishing your note because I feel in my spirit that it is essential for the world to know that God IS changing lives. He did it for you, He did it for me and many others. YES, CHANGE IS POSSIBLY!!!
God bless you my Millennium Sistah!
-Charlene

Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.org
I am 25 years old living in Hyderabad, India
Yes, I am a born-again Christian believer. I was browsing through the CBN newsletters I've subscribed to when your story got my attention. I read your testimony was truly amazed at the way the Lord has worked in your life. Besides that, I also happened to read the testimony of Dawn J. Douglas. I was immensely touched after reading her story. Wow, I've fallen more in love with my Lord and Savior! I'm amazed at the way He has brought her back to Himself through all the trials she's been through in life and the awesome way He's restored her. Wow, He is truly awesome forever! I've benefited a lot with her testimony and I've learnt so much from it. I love the way she's positively went through her bad marriage and also the way the Lord restored her womanhood. I'm so in awe of Him! It also helped me overcome this fear that I might be a lesbian although I've had a relationship with a guy whom I loved. But somehow from time to time, I had this fear somewhere at the back of my mind that I might turn lesbian. But after reading it, I've been able to overcome that fear and it has increased my faith in my God. Its my prayer that the Lord will bless Dawn with all the things she needs in her walk with God and that she'll continue to inspire and touch people's lives.
I love the cause that you're committed to in your new life in Christ. Its just awesome! I pray that the work that you've begin for the Lord with flourish and it'll help in bringing back all those lost souls back to the Lord. Continue to inspire people! God bless you loads.
 -In my loving Christ

This past Saturday God asked me…”would you be my child?”
I ventured into living the life I wanted for years…and now I’m 26 and 4 relationships later and many other situations…let me to see the reality that you also have seen…I cannot have a fulfilling growth in the Lord if I hold on to something He is asking me to leave behind. So I’ve been hurt and I was trying to cover my fears, I was trying to heal “my way”.
This past Saturday God asked me…”would you be my child?” and I said “Lord I don’t know how…I fear men” and the Lord said “but I love you and I long for you…” I said “Lord, I’ve been through so much though, how could I forget?” and the Lord said “I am your Father, you will be safe with me” and the question still came back once again…”would you be my child?” and I finally answered “Yes, I’ll be your child Lord, I’m your daughter”…and tears in my face were rolling down…and I don’t cry often, maybe once a year, but I had no control of it anymore.
Sister Charlene, He has higher purposes for all of us, why waste more time? Why would we try to put together the missing pieces of a broken heart when He has it all?

So, I said yes, and He says yes to me everyday!
I’m leaving a lesbian life that is all I knew for years and I’m sure I’ll be alone for a little while and I’m not even sure that I’ll be able to have company again, but my heart has seen enough and experience enough to know that God has something better for me. So my eyes are focusing on His call and my heart longs for His embrace. As I die to myself I want to live for Him, for what I count as lost (like our brother Paul said) is a gain in Christ our Lord who is, was, and forever will be our one and only Hope.
I don’t know what I’ll do on the weekends, since I can’t go to the bars/clubs anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever have anyone to hold me at night again. I don’t know if I’ll ever know what is like to be truly loved by human being without forsaking God’s will. I don’t know if family will ever understand and know where I’ve been. I don’t know how I’ll walk out in the days where my Spirit is all that seems to be alive and I can barely breathe…I don’t know how I will learn to die and live day by day…
But I know this…that He is faithful and He told me that one day we will fly like eagles…and He walks with me near the ocean and carries my baggage while holding my hands…and He says that I’m not Fatherless…He calls me His child…and He reminds me that I’ve never ever been unloved.
Publisher's Note: ”would you be my child?”
My sister, isn't God amazing? He's such a wonder in my soul and YOURS! I am rejoicing with you! You said YES! That's it! That's the key! When you hear God's voice, do not harden your heart. Say YES to the Lord and He will give you so much beauty in exchange for your brokenness. Be encouraged my sister! God is planning to use you. Your saying YES to Him has released a new light into a dark world, but yours is a very bright light. Someone trapped in gross darkness can see YOUR light shining right now. Someone reading this had been wondering if God truly speaks to a person's heart. Someone is standing on the edge of saying YES to God and your testimony is just what they needed to move.
My sister, you will spend time alone but I want you to cherish every minute of it, because its only for a season. Learn how to worship God and discipline yourself toward prayer. I asked myself the SAME questions after I said YES; Who, on earth, will love me now? But what I've found is that the more my prayer life deepened the less concerned I was about someone holding me. The Lord has strengthened me through praising Him! My Saturday nights are filled with joy, rest, creative thinking, cooking, music, studying the Word, organizing my wardrobe, planning and executing a community festival, reading more, publishing the programs for my church [get in a bible-believing church and get to work!]
Remember to protect your YES like your new born baby. Don't let anything or anyone bring harm to hurt to your YES! Don't let any false doctrine turn your YES into a 'maybe' or a 'not any more'. HOLD ON to God's unchanging hand.

-Charlene

-Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.org

 
It's too bad that you have bought into the religious right propaganda
about the gay "lifestyle", it is a LIFE, not a lifestyle. Do we hear people talking about their straight lifestyle? No, they talk about their straight LIFE. I was born gay along with many other people that I have met and they are perfectly happy being gay. They have successful careers, great social networks and various interests. Some have been married or in straight relationships trying to fit into a narrow minded way that they had to live their lives. And they were miserable. As soon as they came to terms with their true sexuality they began a process of being truly happy.
I am sorry if you had bad straight relationships in the past You were probably never a lesbian at all but found a kinship with women. This happens whether you are gay or straight. You say you were raised in a Christian household, was it repressive as many are? Many are and the parents end up doing more harm than good with all the fire and brimstone teachings. The scene at the ditch in Brokeback Mountain would scar any child, gay or straight. Do not condemn those who are happy being gay or lesbian. The religious right is losing power and influence and using this issue to get some of it back.
Their mentality is slowly dying out as younger people accept what they can not. Remember how inter racial marriage was once out loud as being unnatural and against the Bible? The Bible has been used to justify many wrongs in the world, let this be not one of them. Its really funny how 10% of he population has scarred the pants off the other 90% on this issue. Many people are afraid to admit to themselves that they may be attracted to the opposite sex.
You are a great people but you have to get over your problems with dealing with race and sex. You are too puritanical for your own good. The rest of the world is dealing with and moving beyond these issues, do you want to be left behind?
 
Robert Caughell
Dunnville ON Canada


I too was in the lifestyle for 30 years
I thank God for your strength....Like yourself, I too was in the lifestyle, for 30 years. My coming out to Christianity wasn't the easiest process... Demonic influences were allowed by God. But, initially, I was told to Get my house in order, and that someone was to die. Unknown to me at that time, it was my Spiritual Death. I do know that when God chooses someone, he surely makes His point quite clear, and I also know that, yes, we have choices......
I think one of the hardest parts of my conversion into Christianity, is the Who Am I ?, after living the lifestyle all of those years. It has been a difficult road, but I continue to press on for Christ. I am part of a group called Living Waters. I attended it for 2 years, eventually got training in it, and now assist in a small group within my church, for those who are struggling with homosexuality. I pray for your continued Strength and Courage.
Your Sister in Christ

I am too familiar with the lifestyle
Greetings to you my sista, in the name of our Lord, and Savior Jesus Christ! I am very thankful to our Lord for what He has done for you and thankful to Him for what He will do through you in order to help the mass of women, men and teenagers regardless of nationality that are searching for true love, acceptance and forgiveness that genuinely sometimes is not shown towards them. I am too familiar with the lifestyle for I to lived it for a season and am very thankful to our Lord for delivering me from it's grip of self destruction. My heart truly goes out to our brothers and sisters still living the "life" because they do not fully understand the seriousness of how destructive mentally, physically, and spiritually that lifestyle is, any lifestyle for that matter which is contrary to what our Lord wants for everyone to live in order that we may be healthy, etc.
May the grace of our Lord, the Almighty Father give you wisdom and strength through His comforting spirit in order for you to love, share His message of love, hope and redemption to our brothers and sisters that are struggling in the "life".
 -Love in Christ


I am a 18 and have been struggling with homosexuality for the past 4 years
Lately I have been feeling rather hopeless and alone about it, and questioning my own faith. I was raised as a Christian and profess that Jesus is the lord of my life as a young age I have always know I am saved and covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. During my freshman year I began to struggle with homosexuality and my struggle grew thought my high school years. I never wanted it I have been trying to get rid of it for years, I have been questioning Gods will and wondering why he allowed this to come in my life. Lately the struggle seemed to be almost hopeless I felt so alone, I have never told anyone out of shame and fear (In fact this is the first time I have ever told anyone). Today I came across your website through [CBN.org] and was so overjoyed to find that there is hope, and that God can to anything. I know that I am saved by his grace and that God designed me to serve him, not to circum to an evil life style. Thank you for your testimony is so encouraging.
-God Bless
Make up in your mind that you want to be delivered
I am 18 years old and am currently on my way to attending bible college. I want to thank you for you ministry to the homosexual community. I truly believe in the power of the Holy Ghost to overcome homosexuality. I too have struggled with it for a long time and I remember a sister from my church who I confided in told me "this is such a small thing in the hands of God. He is able to deliver you!" and the advice of my spiritual father and pastor "Son, If you want to be delivered you have to first make up in your mind that you want to be delivered and then take the steps to get there". I too have a joy and peace about it. GOD is able to exceed the abundance of any thing that we can ask or think...all we got to do is ask and get it in our mind and allow God to do above and beyond. He said He is the I AM that I AM which says to me Because He is a deliverer anyone can be delivered. Again thank you for your ministry and allowing God to use you. 
I was born this way
After reading your article, I agree with all that you said, with one exception. I was born this way, but that acknowledgment is in no way a knock on God or a condoning of the lifestyle. Rather, it is a burden I must carry, with reasons known only to Him. God has His reasons for allowing people their crosses to bear, be they physical disabilities, medical malformities, or homosexuality. I was not born perfect, but I am perfect in His sight -- only because I accept Him and am covered by His blood. Does that mean I can live my life guided by my own desires? Certainly not, which is I why I choose celibacy. I will not be with a man -- it goes against my nature; it would be unfair to him, as I would not want to be with him in a "normal" marriage setting. No, the right thing to do is to accept the Lord as He made me, and deal with the challenges He presents to me as a person. I cannot question why, but I must recognize that, despite the challenges, I am still so very blessed beyond measure.
May He richly bless you as you go about changing the hearts of others. I just think that the phrase "you weren't born this way" will turn people from the message because, for so many of us, that's simply not the case. Something to think about!
Publisher's Note: I was born this way
My sister, I thank God that you acknowledge God as God; the one and only sovereign God who does not accept homosexuality as a holy state of living. We disagree on one point. No, you were not born a lesbian. There is no scripture to support your claim. However, we were all born in sin. It is in our DNA, its in our very nature to sin, but we each choose what sin to act on/in/under. At some point, perhaps through some set of circumstances, we chose this life, but thank God you and I also chose to acknowledge it as sin and turn from it. You mentioned that being with a man 'goes against your nature'. Your nature and God's nature are NOT the same thing. Our thoughts are NOT His thoughts. We are all on a journey to become MORE like Him. Perhaps God's nature--the natural and holy desire to become interested in and attracted to the opposite sex-- will prevail in our lives at some point. Until then, lets keep living for Him.
Love,
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.com

I want to thank you for standing for Jesus
I saw your testimony on the 700 Club today and looked your article up on the internet. I was in the lesbian lifestyle for over 20 years. I attended the gay church in San Diego and was a member of the choir there many years ago. At the time we had no permanent building to meet in and met at a Methodist Church in the area. Our choirs would join together for specials and one member of the Methodist Church would witness to me and tell me that he was praying for the "scales to fall off my eyes". I started to read the Bible and got convicted the lifestyle I was in wasn't going to lead me to heaven. I gave my heart to Jesus in 1978 and haven't looked back since. At the time I witnessed to everyone I knew but I don't know what good it did, only the Lord knows. Praise God for what you are doing.
Hope towards redemption
I had a good friend of mine call me this morning to catch Charlene's testimony on the 700 club. Charlene's testimony was so powerful, I decided to go on-line and read more about it. She is so brave to stand up for what she believes in. For someone like me who has struggled with homosexuality, Charlene gives me hope towards redemption. Thank you Charlene, thank you for sharing your story. Wishing you all the best on your journey to freedom!
People are boycotting you here
Your job is cut out for you as I am inviting you home to Africa also to continue your work that the Lord has mandated you. When I saw you today on the 700 Club for the first time, I was moved and I believe that the Lord has really touched you. I was urged to reach out to you and bring you home to Africa-Nigeria. Although people are boycotting you here, I promise your magazine will do very well at home as men and women are in bondage and don't know their way out. You will be a great example. Remain Blessed and best Regards.
Do you still struggle with being attracted to the same sex?
I followed a link from CNN to an article that you wrote about finding Christ and leaving a lesbian lifestyle. I admire the fact that you have done this and I wish you best in your life as a Christian woman. I did have a question if you don't mind...when you became a Christian did your desires change or do you still struggle with being attracted to the same sex? Either way, do you have anything that has helped you with that part of your life? If this is too personal I apologize, but I know that is one of the concerns I have heard from gay and lesbian friends before.
Thanks again.
In Christ,
PW

Publisher's Note: Do you still struggle?
I have no struggle with same sex attraction, SSA. I know that many gays say they have prayed for deliverance and struggled for years but still have the attraction. I cannot say that this is not real for them, however, I am of the belief that our willingness to completely surrender to Christ with our WHOLE heart is the key to having the anointing break the yoke [cut the chain of sin, in this case SSA]. I didn't ask God to save me from being a lesbian, as some pray. I asked Him to save my soul, period. I asked Him to take away ANYTHING that is not like Him and He did. I understand the attractions others have but I do not, personally, struggle with it. I do not give Satan room for growth. I use the Word of God against ANY ungodly thought that may enter my mind the moment it appears.  'Old things are passed away, behold ALL things have become new!' That's not struggle, that's victory in Jesus! I pray and speak to ANY ungodly thought like Paul, 'I leave those things behind me and I press toward the mark of the high calling in Christ Jesus.'   I instantly and continuously speak victory over sin and now Satan leaves me alone because He cannot stand against God's Word. The Word also tells us not to be foolish and to take heed, lest we fall [watch your step that you don't fall back into sin]. I am very watchful. I keep my prayer life active. I ask God always to search my heart that I not deceive myself.  I am also accountable to my mentor, who cuts me NO slack in making sure I lay before God daily and be made a clean vessel for His use.

-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
www.VenusMagazine.com

 
I hardly watch TV
but late one evening Pat Robertson on CBN mentioned you and coming out of homosexuality, so I immediately tuned my eyes and ears in. I too came out of homosexuality, back in September of 2005. I had some of the same feelings that you mentioned and in fact, I felt God putting thoughts in my head during Gay Pride events and when going out to bars. A friend invited me to go to church with him and that's what got the ball rolling,,,,,,,to return to Christ and turn my life around.  Yes, there are days when it is tough, but my friend Jesus stands beside me and gives me the strength to go on. Fight the good fight. Thank the Lord for your testimony as it strengthened me and encouraged me as well. I will pray for you tonight and even though I do not know you, I will in heaven.
 
Thank you and love you from a brother in Christ.
 
 
I knew the normal Evangelical hawks
would come exploit this story but CBN, history only bares a most unfortunate outcome for those who fall from their grace. Perhaps, I’m still not clear on the motivation of ex-homosexuals because they spend the rest of their dying days, prostelyzing other homosexuals about their sins. It’s quite an interesting psycho pathology, in fact.
DL Foster, too, seems to have the same emotional attachment to keep this energy going to maintain the charade, since there an overwhelming religious counterculture going on in this country and around the globe that’s going to leave you and this relic of a religious discourse in the annals of history, along with the likes of the women’s suffrage movement and slavery.
Clearly, sitting around in a gay pride parade contemplating the meaning of one’s homosexual existence has only scratched the surface of a larger contextual framework of the influences of Christianity in the African American mindset and theoretical worldview.
Unfortunately, there are groups of homosexuals who have lived their lives without the influences or religious underpinnings, economic uncertainty, and ideological stalemates. But have lived very productive and holistic lives and all you really have conveyed, even with all your accomplishments, is a limited perception about the world and humanity.
Ms. Cothran, I’m sure I’m not the only one blasting you with email periodically about all this and I guess - it’s to continue to challenge misconceptions about who we are as human beings. Challenging our understanding of God, because there are books, from enlightened authors and theologians who have confronting these ideas we wrestle with currently.
But if slavery and women’s rights haven’t taught us to do, is to challenge Holy Scripture in ways that demonstrate our inability, as human beings to bring an awesome God to manageable portions for us to understand. The scribes couldn’t do it in scripture, then why are we being challenged by authors who believe in a heliocentric world, where slavery was honored and women and children were abused?
Growing up Pentecostal, I can’t even imagine why we believe the scrap our slave masters taught us without any critical analysis and its impact on our lives? However, one thing I had to confront is to stop blaming God and my sexual orientation for bad or poor decisions I’ve made in my life. That little reality changed my life forever…The devil we fear is the mirror we seek.
 
Blessings,
Rev John Garlington
 

I have been living a secret life
I am a 19-year-old man from Kentucky. I have been living a secret life, a double life if you will, and a few weeks ago I was at the point of coming out of the closet. I was raised a Christian, Southern Baptist, and I have always accepted the fact that homosexuality was a sin. However, I was willing to give my entire Christian tradition up to indulge in sexual immorality.
Yet, God found a way to break my cold heart with your amazing story. I have always watched the 700 Club…begging God that Pat would speak a word of knowledge that I had been set free from my homosexuality. However, God had a different way of showing me the way “out”. As I listened to your story tears flowed from the corner of my eyes. I had always been taught by society that homosexuality is not a choice. I even started to believe that I was born that way…thank Christ that now I know different. (I prayed with Pat for deliverance.)
I am e-mailing you because I need your support. I know you must receive thousands of e-mails, letters, and calls a day. However, I am asking for your friendship…someone I can talk to and pray with. I would love to become a “pin-pal”. I want you to know that I have been set free by the blood of Christ…the chains have been broken…and in the name of CHRIST I will never be the same.
My prayer is that somewhere down the road of life you will have the opportunity to respond to this e-mail. If that moment never comes I want you to know one thing. (A prophetic word) “You will be greatly used.” Your story has changed my life…let it flow out and change others. Many souls are still out there being held by the devil. You have the key to set them free. This key has been given to you by God himself. (Venus Magazine)
Your Friend in Christ Jesus
 
Publisher's Note: Secret Life
My Dear Brother,
I am typing through tears of joy that you heard God's voice, not mine. He has called you unto Himself and plans to use YOU for such a time as this. I can't answer all emails but I am compelled to encourage you to keep the faith. Stand with me on the Word, Ephesians 5:1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty where with Christ has set us free, AND be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. It's been a year since God saved my soul and I have no desires for same-sex, no desire to even look back, and I feel like RUNNING to heaven! God is teaching me patience and building me in several areas for His work. We're not going to have many friends who understand this walk, but that's O.K. Its our reasonable service to suffer on His behalf. People around you will not understand your choice to walk this 'straight' and narrow path. Not many ministers are teaching the 'old way' [living holy, no longer being a slave to sin] but know that its the ONLY way that leads to everlasting life.

Your Sister in Christ!
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
 
 
I’ve been a loyal reader of your magazine for years
and despite those negative emails and commentary you will received, you have found a peace that cannot be matched, period.  I can totally understand where you are in life now and you also made a valid point when you said that He allows us to go through these life changes because He is only building us up for the real challenge.  I, like you was out there doing “tha thang”, living it up and then around 32 I met a interesting lady through work that I said, “hey, I could get with her”, to a co-worker. I had never ever thought it would come to past and a year later we spent a magical night together and from there we started a relationship. The relationship did not last but I also knew I could not do the “man thing” on a full time basis any longer. Fast forward a couple of years, I met this lady on a blind telephone date, we ended up getting married and now have two wonderful sons and we’re building a life together with God as our cornerstone.
 
Some of my “friends in the life” could not relate but now I realize they were not friends but people I thought I knew.  I’m not mad about it because I feel that if God can forgive you then I have to forgive you.  My wife and I continue to work on our relationship with God, putting our trust in Him, not marriage counselors or people not truly living the word.  We are normal in that we have those arguments but that is a part of life, it’s just that with God being involved it only gets better.  However, I’m not one to have any regrets about my life; like you said, it’s prep time.  I commend you on the changes you’ve made and your spiritual growth will only continue to excel as long as you keep the faith.
 
Thanks for the great article and I will continue to support you all the way to the top!!!
Sincerely,
M. L. H.
Bueno antes que nada mil felicidades
por su pagina es una de las pocas paginas que pude contenrr un texto formidable. y mas cuando se la pasa vagando por internet te concentra tanto estar leyendo temas de interes como lo que es la Homosexualidad ya que es un teme muy visto pero que aun encierra muchos misterios. cambiando de orden de ideas quiero comentarle con el devido respeto que se merece que yo tengo un caso en lo particular,soy bisexual pero mi familia no lo sabe ya he buscado las formas de decirlo pero aun me da miedo, tengo 22 años y creo que ya es hora de empezar a decirles que soy bisexual pero como mi familia aun esta muy tabue, osea tiene principios morales que no les permiten ver mas ala de la realidad, una ves le comente a un amigo lo que me pasaba, mi amigo es de ambiente gay el es mas liberal su familia ya lo acepto a duras penas pero al final de cuentas termino por aceptarlo, el me dijo que cuendo yo quiera salir del closet tengo que enamorarme primero pero usted sabe que encontrar una pareja en este rol socila e smuy dificil de que sea fiel , usted digame que es lo que puedo hacer o qeu em erecomienda hacer se lo agradecere mucho, si me responde este mail.
de antemano un gran saludo
Translated...
Well, first of all I want to congratulate you
for you homepage in the Internet. It is has so many amazing articles. I have spent some time surfing on the net and I like to read about homosexuality because it is controversial issue, although this is a so mysterious subject. There are so many different ideas about homosexuality!!!
Carefully, I want to tell you that I have a "special" story: I am bisexual and my family does not know about it. I have tried to tell them about my bisexuality but I am very afraid about their reactions. I am 22 years old and I think this is the time to show myself off (to let my family know about my sexual condition) but I think my family has not an open mind to accept it because they have a strong moral background that does not allow them do see reality clearly.
There once was a time I told to one friend of mine about my double life. He is gay and his family is very liberal and accepted his "gayness" after many fights. He told me that if I want to "get out of the closet" I have to find a lover and fall in love with a special person but you (Charlene) know it is hard to find a loyal  partner in the gay community...
So, tell me what should I do... what are your advices for me? Please answer this e-mail. Your answer will bring so much joy to my life.
Thank you so much for hearing me.
 
La Nota del Editor: Hola Mi Hermano
He leído su correo electrónico y no quiero que usted sea aturdido. He sido cambiado después de muchos años de ser con amantes y yo gracias a Dios ya que ahora sigo a Cristo. La Biblia dice en 1 John que 'si decimos que tenemos el compañerismo con Él [Jesucristo], y paseo en la oscuridad [vida de una vida double/bi-sexual], mentimos, y 'no hacen' la verdad.'
Me gustaría presentarle en un amigo mío. Su nombre es Claudio. Su historia le ayudará a ver que Cristo le ha conducido a este Internet a situar para ayudarle a realizar que la homosexualidad no le complace. Por favor permita que Claudio comparta su historia de la vida con usted. Le guardaré en mis rezos que Dios de la Luz revelará Él mismo a usted vía las palabras de verdad.
¡Permanencia en toque! - Su Hermana,
Charlene
VenusMagazine.org

Publisher's Note: Hello My Brother
I have read your email and I do not want you to be confused. I have been changed after many years of being with lovers and I thank God, for I now follow Christ. The bible says in 1 John that 'If we say we have fellowship with Him [Jesus Christ], and walk in darkness [living a double/bi-sexual life], we lie, and 'do' not the truth.'
I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine. His name is Claudio. He is a co-laborer in the ministry with me. His story will help you to see that Christ has led you to this internet site to help you realize that homosexuality is NOT pleasing to God. Please allow Claudio to share his life story with you. I will keep you in my prayers that the God of Light will reveal Himself to you via the words of truth.
Stay in touch! Your Sister,
Charlene
VenusMagazine.org

You said you'd like to hear if your article has helped
It helped my girlfriend to end our relationship and I am having a terrible time trying to understand why. She was raised in a Christian home. I was not.  She has the past experience and knowledge and I do not. I found my greatest happiness in life with her. Now I am heart-broken and sad and fearing a depression coming on. I only found out on the day she ended our relationship that she has been struggling for a while trying to let her two worlds coincide with one another. She says she was happy with me, she says she is still in love with me, and this is the hardest choice she's ever had to make. My question is, why must it be a choice? We had something so wonderful, so beautiful, we laughed and had so much fun together, we felt a strong connection, we had an attraction for one another, making her smile was the highlight of my every day. So why is this so wrong, who is this hurting, how can this be wrong if it feels so right. Why would God instill this feeling in me if it is wrong?
 
I'm trying very hard to understand but it just doesn't make sense to me. We had a life together and a future planned out. I moved here from another state to be with her, now I love her so much that I will say good-bye to her and hope she finds the acceptance she is looking for. My life took a drastic turn in just one day, I must find a new home, say good-bye to the two dogs we have together, cut all ties of things we share. And I don't want to. I can't believe I don't get to spend the rest of my life with her. I feel broken and empty. Is there anything you advise to the partners of the people who claim to be changing their ways?  Do these people really change or do they just find the strength to deny inner feelings of what they are told is wrong. I don't want to go on loving someone who will not let themselves love me back even though they want to inside. I certainly cannot compete with God but I don't feel that He is against me on this issue.
 
I need help understanding and coping with this loss. I don't want to see it end but I know there is nothing I can do. I don't know where to go from here. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Publisher's Note: Dearest Sister,
I heard your heart's cry so deeply that it kept me up most of the night. I spent the time asking God to give me the words to express His love and compassion toward you. And for you to be open enough to hear Him speaking to you. You mention that you were not raised in a Christian home, so I want to try to establish a foundation before going on:
1. God is real and we must supply enough FAITH to believe that He is.
2. He created you and loves you just as you are but He won't leave you the way you are. 
3. God became flesh, in the person of Jesus Christ, came to earth, suffered and died on the cross and rose again because He knew that we as sinners could not save ourselves.
4. ALL men and women need a Savior.  Its in our very nature to sin. Even those who feel that they are basically good people have sin in their nature. Thus we cannot change ourselves without the the blood of Jesus Christ.
5. In order to please God and boldly proclaim all the rights to His kingdom,  God requires that we acknowledge HIM and turn away from sin, which we cannot do on our own.
6. Through a simple 'sinner's prayer' we ask Jesus Christ to forgive us, cleanse us, and to live within us.  The Lord instantly accepts this prayer from the heart of the person who truly means it.  
7. We must then 'go and sin no more.'
8. This is a FAITH walk, not at all based on 'feelings' [emotions].
 
I want to try to help you understand the strong 'feelings' you have for this woman. There is a space within each person that is reserved for God. Only His spirit can satisfy the longing in the soul. He will not allow anything or anyone to fill HIS place in you.  Until we acknowledge God and turn away from sin, we search for and cling to emotional experiences that seem powerful enough to fill that capacity. But it never is. The scriptures say that God is a rewarder to those who diligently seek HIM. But we spend our entire lives diligently seeking everything but HIM.
 
You, my sister, are spending all of your energy seeking HER which has left you feeling broken and empty. I urge you to turn that energy toward seeking God, seeking to know more about Jesus Christ. Even if it is only for a few minutes a day, I want you to talk to God, just like you talk to me. He knows all about you, every hair on your head.
 
You asked how God could allow you to feel this way for someone if its wrong. The truth is that as sinners, we have done things our own way for so long, we have ignored God's intended way of life for so long, that He literally gave us up to the lust of our own hearts to willfully practice sin, [men with men, women with women] AND we even enjoyed it!But the consequence of freely basking in sin is that our 'feelings of love' will surely turn to 'feelings of emptiness' or 'feelings of darkness' or betrayal, loneliness, etc. These 'feelings' now rule your life. Can't think, can't eat, can't sleep, all you are left with is the deep desire to more diligently seek after HER. Without acknowledging and seeking God and turning to Him, your 'feelings' could lead you to a very dark place. You do NOT want to go there.
 
I believe with all my heart that God has allowed you to meet this particular woman, knowing that your emotional attachment to her, would serve to LEAD YOU OUT of homosexuality and LEAD YOU INTO a loving relationship with HIM.
 
Pray with me. Lord I believe that you died for my sins and that you hear my prayer right now. I need you. Help me to understand who I am in YOU. Help me to know you. Please forgive me for all that I have done that did not please You. Lord come into my heart and live in me. I will seek YOUR presence each day, I will seek YOUR healing for my heart, I will seek YOUR will for my life and for my future as a new Christian. I now hand all these 'feelings' over to YOU for you Lord are the master of healing and transformation. Thank you Jesus for saving my soul. I will now walk with you in FAITH.
 
I am praying with you, thousands of brothers and sisters in Christ are also praying with you. Read the Word of God each day. Come back to this website to read and be encouraged by others who have given their lives to Christ. As you begin to grow, God will reveal things to you and you will see many changes in your own life. I hope you will be willing to share your testimony to help others some day.
 
I want to hear from you.
Charlene
 
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
VenusMagazine.org

 
Publisher's Note: You said you'd like to hear
I'm so glad to hear from you! And I'm thrilled to hear that you did go to church Sunday, even if you did it to please her--anything to get back into her good graces, Huh?  ;) Here's the part that you don't want to hear--your loss of zeal for the future might be prolonged if you and she continue to prolong the inevitable--moving on. You made a profound statement when you said that you cannot compete with God. I have never had contact with your Ex, but I can tell from your description and reaction that her commitment to the Lord is real.
    Later, I'll email the story of a woman who gave her life to the Lord and SO DID HER EX! After some time God has allowed them to renew a friendship. They are saved and living HOLY and they can share the joy of the LORD. God's Word says, I came that you might have life and have it MORE ABUNDANTLY. I'm not saying you guys can't be friends, but it is prudent to put some distance and time in between yourselves to give God's plan time to be revealed in your lives. Eventually you should sincerely want to turn your will, your deepest desires, over to the will of God.   Right now, you are still in the 'how can I please her' mode.
You both need time alone with God. Trust God, its all going to turn out well. Read Jeremiah 29:11, 'I know the thoughts [plans] I have for you. Thoughts of peace, not evil, that you might come to an expected end.' God is expecting GREAT things from both of you.
Love, Charlene
 
I Was Looking for a Woman's Love
Sorry, my English not good. I need your help. Please pray for me. All life I was looking for a woman's love until I become a Christian. I am 16 years as a Christian but still am not free and unfortunately I deeply fall in love with a Muslim woman. I have got new job and I have been trained by that women. She was very [caring] person and I found myself [liking] her more and more. She is a lesbian but not open. Then I fall in love so deeply. I stop praying, stop reading the bible. What I wanted was only [her]. When she achieved my love, suddenly [she] left me. I know I am on the way to hell because I still want her back. Why God did not help me through 16 years when I was faithful to Him? I don't want to be a lesbian but I cannot change my feelings. I can't eat, I can't sleep and I am nearly to kill myself. I don't want to live without her. Why God who is LOVING GOD let [this] happened to me? I hate life and all I want is to die. You [are] my last hope. If nothing change I can't stop suicide thoughts. We still working together. She still ignores me and I still have deep love for her. I want to die...

Publisher's Note: My friend,
Your English is just fine. You MUST understand that God loves you and you WILL NOT DIE. You have studied the bible and therefore you know that it is Satan's job to convince you to die. Satan will search, all day long, for someone to destroy, then he sits back and laughs. BUT he is no longer laughing at YOU. Once you stopped reading the bible and stopped praying, you let Satan steal your joy and strength in God, BUT God has NOT abandoned you. You MUST repent [change your mind for good] and you must do this right now. Please, stop everything you are thinking and doing right now to pray with me. Say out loud, 'Lord Jesus, I know you still love me.  I made a mistake leaving the safety of your divine covering. Please forgive me, take me back to when I first believed in you. Take this pain from my heart as I give my heart and soul back to you Lord. I believe your Word. In Isaiah 61, you said that if I mourn, you give beauty in exchange for these ashes [feelings of deep loss] and you will give the oil of joy for mourning and I will wear the garment of praise in exchange for the spirit of heaviness that is on my heart. Lord, I mourn the loss of this person I loved. Every emotional attachment to her, I give it up to you. Heal me Lord, and I am healed; Deliver me Lord; and I am delivered; Reclaim me again, Lord; and I am reclaimed, redeemed, and saved by your blood. Thank you Jesus for saving me, Amen.
 
God reclaims backsliders [those who make the mistake of returning to--and literally becoming a slave to--their old sinful ways] through His son Jesus. Jesus is MARRIED to the backslider. This means, no matter what you have done wrong, He will take you back and forgive you and you still have all the rights to His name! You are just as much His bride as before you wronged Him. That's how much He loves us.
 
Never allow your feelings of love for the 'creature' [a person] to become greater than your love for the 'creator' Jesus Christ. The key to your success here is to develop a consistent prayer life. How often are you praying alone at home? Pray early in the morning before any distractions. Pray until you KNOW God has heard you, then settle yourself and quietly allow the spirit of love to speak to you. Learn, again to rebuke, [say NO to] Satan. When he says, 'kill yourself' YOU SAY, 'NO! Get behind me, Satan! I WILL LIVE! And I will live under the shadow of the Almighty God. Read Psalms 91. It will help you to feel God's protection around your soul and mind.
 
You need to consider rather working with this woman is a good idea. God has given you many talents. I am certain that if you ask God, He will open other doors for a new job. The bible says to lay aside every weight that so easily besets us. [Get rid of or change anything that causes us to stumble or sin against God.] This is very important to your survival. Don't allow your heart to deceive you. The Word says that man's heart is so deceitful, that he many times cannot tell for himself whether he is right or wrong. We must ASK GOD to examine our hearts and to judge us [our thoughts, true motives, and desires]. We must then be willing to accept His judgment [findings of the true intent in our heart] and accept His loving correction [which He will reveal to you in prayer or by a minister of the gospel.]
 
You are not alone! I know that you are going to successfully and joyfully make it through this difficult time because God has directed you to seek spiritual help. Now, begin the work of walking, with Christ, out of this storm. The Lord is with you and I am with you in prayer, each morning. Come to this website when you need encouragement. Many others have experienced the same feelings and have given God their whole hearts. Now they have great testimonies of God's goodness. Stay in touch. I want to know that you are well.
 
In the love of Christ,
Your Sister-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries

I Was Looking: I AM ALIVE!
Thanks GOD for you! Since I send a message, the power come upon me. I got up, had something to eat and went to work. That evening I was working with that woman. It was not so easy but I went through this with smile and confidence in my heart. I can't say everything finished and I feel free. No. I can't say I am crazy in love. What I say, I still have feeling for her. It is bothering me badly. I'm still distressed. When I have read your e-mail I was crying and crying for understanding that I am not alone and for yours prayer for me. That is real help. I don't want to kill my self anymore. But I still don't have desire to enjoy my life. We often together on duty at work. I afraid, have stress, panic. It is all about I feel for tonight duty. But I start my prayers, read bible, watch God TV, often on your website. And I have hope with you and GOD help I will come out from this sadness to victory in JESUS CHRIST name. Please don't leave me. Don't forget me, send me e-mails, pray for me. I want to be free from SSA and if it happens, I ...don't know. I will be happiest woman in the world! (sorry for my English, I am from north Europe, but live in UK) I am waiting for e-mails from you.

THE LORD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU
  THE LORD MAKE HIS FACE SHINE UPON YOU
AND BE GRACIOUS TO YOU
THE LORD LIFT UP HIS COUNTENANCE UPON YOU AND GIVE YOU PEACE!

You just don't know how your testimony and your help is going to change millions life! Thanks to GOD you was listening to GOD voice, that is why millions of broken life can find help and fresh start into the new peaceful life in GOD'S hands.
I Was Looking: Hello! I have not been in touch with you
for nearly one month. It is that I could not stop my feelings for her and went back to relationship. It was like honeymoon for us. I was fighting with myself and with God. Yesterday I have made the decision to end it. I said to one I love that I want to end it. You don't know how it is cost me until now. I can't sleep, can't eat, can't get up from bed. I can't stop crying. I can't go anywhere. I feel very ill, dizzy. I am angry to God. I don't want to pray or read the bible. I can't kill myself but I don't want to live. What I have got it is a permanent pain in my soul. I ask God to help me. When I will end it to take that pain from me. But pain is growing up. I love her. I want to ask you to pray for me please now. Ask somebody to keep prayers for me. Give me please local adviser. I live in west London. I don' t know what is going on with me. I can't get up from bed, even I don't know if will be able to go to work tonight. I can't stop cry. Please pray God to take that pain from me otherwise I will hurt myself physical. If it is possible please send me email back as soon as you can. I need your words, direction, prayers.

Publisher's Note: Father in the name of your son Jesus,
I ask for your mercy and strength for my sister. The enemy desires to destroy her life. Father lift the cloud of confusion and remove the blinders from her eyes. Father, bring healing to her broken heart. Give her new direction in you. Lift her from this pain. Lord, she desires to serve you but she needs you to speak to her right now. Lord, I now stand in the gap of salvation for her, a place where she once stood, and I will STAND and pray for her to receive the power to stand here on her own. Father, the enemy has taken on the form of a beautiful woman at her job and has presented himself as a 'lover'. We know that Satan is a destroyer and seeks to deceive my sister. Father help her to know in her heart that she must stand on your WORD now or risk a deeper and more painful heart break, later, after Satan [in the form of this woman] LEAVES HER. Lord, speak directly into my sister's spirit. Remind her that you LOVE her and that you Lord are right there with her, that she is never alone.  Remind her that though she is angry with you, you are longsuffering and merciful and NOT angry with her. You Lord are patiently waiting for her to turn her complete will over to you. Touch her right now, Lord from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet. Lift depression from her and heal her mind and body. In Jesus Name, Amen.
 
My Sister, I have been praying for you, because I could feel that something like this would happened.  Every time we pull away from someone, suddenly they want to come closer to us, but its all a lie. I thank God that you had the strength to end it. YOU WILL HEAL. This pain is temporary. Please contact this group for help.
http://www.re-alignment.net/ They are Christians in London. They are wonderful people and you are in good hands with them for Godly professional help. You must contact them on your own to get the help you need. I am always here for you. Write me anytime. I love you with the Love of Christ. You are going to be just fine.

-Charlene
 
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
VenusMagazine.org

I Was Looking: PAIN GONE!
Yesterday about 4 pm (UK local time) the pain gone! Yes, I had something to eat and was able to go for night shift. If no other choice do not to see her at work. I don't know what happened to me (IT IS GOD!) I was laughing, enjoyed charts with other workmates. She finished shift and gone home not very happy to see me happy. I finished my night shift and feel difference. I am eating, laughing, was shopping, have energy. GOD YOU STILL LOVE ME.
Thank you very very very much. Could you please tell to prayer team what a wonder happened to me. Other good thing. Tomorrow I am going for holiday to my country for a week. My nephew getting married. When I will come back to London I will contact your London team. Other thing, I have got application form for new job! When I will come back I will post it and will wait for the answer.
Thank you very much again in JESUS CHRIST NAME! If not for your prayers I just don't know what I could do. Thank MY GOD you are with me and GOD still with me.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

Publisher's Note: All Glory be to God!!!
I am praising God with you, tears of joy flow for you this morning. God is so faithful to answer our prayers. He just wants us to come to Him with our whole heart! THANK GOD for you. God loves you so much! His has made is favor shine upon you and He will NEVER leave you!! ENJOY your nephew's wedding! God is already working to open the door for your NEW JOB!
Live for Him!!!
-Charlene
Thank you sister for this site
I am 35, been in the life for years and I want out! This lifestyle has destroyed my soul and my relationship with my family in the process. My family was very understanding when I came out, even going to gay pride parades with me, my church and community supported my decision. The problem was not with my family or my church but with the gay community itself. The community with it’s obsession with good looks and underground sex parties, racist hierarchy, I just could not go on. This life is not for me, I just want out. Thank you for starting Venus!
Publisher's Note: My Brother, I Thank God for You
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Those were some of the SAME thoughts that ran deep in me during the last gay pride event I attended in Chicago 2003. I felt that if this is all there is, if this is what I am to be 'proud' of, I need to find something else, another way. Thank God, I've found the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE in Jesus Christ! Have you found Him? Its not enough to come out of 'the life' [or desire to]. You've got to come IN to complete and whole fellowship with the Lord. Walking with Him is so sweet! Ain't nothing like Him! There is a divine purpose for the call that you have heard. Draw near to Him. God's has a lot to say to you. I can feel it. He's going to restore EVERYTHING the enemy has stolen from you: the years, the family relationships. When you repent [change your mind for good] you position your soul to stand strong and wait on God. As you STAND on His word and trust Him for all your needs, you are in the PERFECT position for Him to pour out His spirit, His oil on you [release special blessings into your life that you couldn't dream up, even if you tried!] Seek Him. You'll find all that you need. When you diligently seek Him, He will answer BEFORE you call.

I'm praying with you.
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries

I have read your testimony and it is inspiring..
I am a 38 y/o ex-lesbian (for about 4 months) I left my ex-husband for a female that I immediately broke up. I then became involved with another woman for the past 3 years. I have heard God's call, but it is hard. I live 2500 miles away from any friends or family, there is no church where I live that I feel comfortable attending. I am lonely and discouraged. I know deliverance doesn't happen over night. I have been searching for an ex-lesbian/gay African American support group in Phoenix. There are not any, I can not afford to fly across country every month (I have a responsibly to be a good steward). I'm looking for help on this road, the desires have not gone away I remain close both female ex's. I just want to find a support group that I can talk to. My best friend is great and I love her for all her support no matter what orientation I declare she still loves me. I don't want to dump this on her its not her problem or issue, it's mine.
 
Any advice or direction that you can offer will be greatly appreciated.
Struggling in AZ

Publisher's Note: Be Encouraged My Sister
You are near your break through! I have done a little research for you this morning and I hope Denver is close enough for to you to make this program worth the drive for 8 weeks. It is not an African American centered program but perhaps in your looking closer at what they offer, it might not matter. [link provided]
I totally understand your feeling isolated and lonely. But you must realize that God is standing by waiting to answer your cry, if you call on Him with your whole heart. Ask Him, right now, to come into your heart and change your mind. This is how transformation begins. You are correct, it does not happen over night for most people, although some experience immediate change. God will immediately forgive you, and He will also FORGET all the wrong you have done in the past, when He knows you really mean it.   God will accept you in your present condition and begin to walk you out of your old 'self'.
The scriptures say that when we are obedient to God's Word, we die [to sin] daily, this means we must read the Word, obey its instruction and you will begin to see changes in your 'self'. Those things that are of no use to God's plan for you, will literally dry up and drop off.   Begin reading and applying the Word of God to your personal thought life on a daily basis. You are going to be amazed at the growth in your spirit. Do not allow the enemy to make you feel alone. You are NOT. You have your Savior Jesus Christ, whose love is a warm blanket around you. You have thousands of sister and brothers who have been there [lonely and discouraged by the results of sin] now praying with YOU via this internet ministry. Also, I am here for you. Reach out anytime you need to talk. Please keep me informed about the group sessions in Denver, if you decide on them. I want to know that you well cared for by the ministry leaders. I'll also do more research on African American ex-gay groups in your area.  

Stay in touch! We LOVE you!
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries

He led me to you right now 
As you read this just know that you've helped me tremendously. I lived the lesbian lifestyle all of my adult years too. It started when I was about 9 years old, maybe even before that. I have been into the internet for 3 days now and I finally think my search is over. I found a home and a family with your site immediately when I saw it. Yes indeed. I'm 40 years old. I am writing a book now and it's almost finished but the funny thing is that I know God's will for me now. I knew it was to begin with the book but now I'm convinced what my job is now! I know it will happen very soon. But I live in Tempe, Arizona and my mission will begin here! There are so many people right here in the Phoenix area who need to here my story but first I need to get me some support. I moved out of my home to get away from a relationship that was detrimental to my health and well being. For my sake and my child, my son age 16. I need some help. I'm not going back but I still own the house and still making the payments on it, and living in an apartment too. I miss her but it never fails. I end up getting mad every time we talk. So far I've only gone a few days without talking to her. She's not where I'm at with God's calling. I haven't had a drink or smoked in nearly 9 months and that feels good. I need to talk to someone or find a support group. God bless YOU.
My Sister;
I am here for you. I am praying for you daily that God will light your pathway during this difficult time. Breaking up is very painful and also confuses the emotions. I know. I've been there. You miss her, but you KNOW its over.  But here's the reality check; inside you really don't want HER to let go of YOU. Your fear of her letting you go is why you are still so confused internally. I am praying for God to release this fear in you.  You already know that YOU must let go, but you need to trust God to provide protection around your heart and mind that you will survive the transition of HER letting YOU go. When I finally said, O.K., I know this is not working, but she may actually begin to date someone else, that was a painful reality. However, I FACED IT and over time the Lord settled that feeling of loss in my heart.  God saw my future, and began working all of this out in me even BEFORE I finally yielded to His will for my life. Wow! Now all that seems so long ago! Like the pain was never there. TRUST God to bring you through. It won't be as bad as you think.
BEGIN YOUR WALK WITH CHRIST, even in the midst of coming apart from your ex.  Focus on HIM. RE-FOCUS when you feel your emotions carrying you away from what is right. Keep your mind on Jesus. To focus on Him;
1. I want you to write down three things that have happened in the past that YOU KNOW if it had not been for the Lord covering you, you would have died or been seriously injured [physically or mentally]. Or you would have been homeless or suffered complete devastation. Glory Recall is an amazing way to keep your mind on the goodness of the Lord.  It also builds your faith and makes you less afraid to walk toward an outcome that you cannot not see.
2. Find an inspirational song that reminds you of who God is in your life and who you are in God. Once we have repented, [changed our mind and committed to follow Him as He intended], the Holy Spirit causes us to KNOW that we are the righteousness of God! This is not a 'superior' or 'self' righteousness. This is spiritual confirmation that we have been adopted by GOD. You are royalty and NO good thing will He withhold from you.
3. Read the scriptures daily. Even when there is so much going on in your life, you must find time to focus on God's word. He will feed you daily, directly from His word.
I am looking into a support group in the Phoenix area to refer you to.  In the mean time, let us pray each morning at 7AM for God's protection over your life, your heart, your mind, your finances and your son. I am in agreement with you that peace in the midst of this storm, deliverance from gay life, and a new settled life for you and your son through the blood of Jesus is already done. 

Your Sister in Christ,
Charlene 

Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
VenusMagazine.org

He led me: U R Right
I DO know it's over with my ex and so does she but there is that lil attachment that lil piece that don't wanna let go but it will eventually break off....selling the home will be the finality of it I do believe. But mother's day she wants to see me...we don't touch but is it wrong to be around her or does of course, that make it more difficult and tempting as well? I get jealous and angry and I act like the lil spoiled brat around her and she lets me.
insane....sighing...
My Sister;
I'm going to refer you directly to God on this one! Ask God what you just asked me. So, she wants to see you and you want to see her. What is that really about? Ask God in prayer, then quiet yourself and listen to what He is saying to you. Then act, obediently.
-Charlene


Estoy muy confundida
Miren lei su editorial por internet , yo soy mujer y amo a una mujer, he tenido relaciones con ella.. la adoro.. daria mi vida por ella...pero necesito saber si estoy en lo correcto, o estoy pekando. La verdad no lo se, espero y me puedan ayudar.
Translated...
I am very confused
Look, I read your story on the Internet. I am a woman and I love a woman, have had relations with her .. I adore her .. I would give my life for her ... but I need to know if I am in the correct thing, or I am pekando. [I need the truth. I now wait and hope that you will be able to help me.]

La Nota del Editor:
Entiendo. Usted es una mujer que adora a otra mujer, usted vive para ella. También sentí el mismo camino sobre una mujer. Habíamos estado juntos durante 10 años. Yo no podía ver mi vida sin ella. Yo no sabía ningún otro amor más fuerte que su amor por mí, hasta que yo encontrara a Jesús. Su amor no es sólo más fuerte, pero curación, incondicional, y sobre todo Su amor es REALMENTE ETERNO y santo. Elegí a Jesús, y mi excepto ha venido para entender este, aunque nos hubiéramos roto tres años antes. Ella es O.K. sin mí y creo el ella vendrá finalmente a Cristo debido al cambio verdadero y felicidad que ella ve en mí. Amamos el uno al otro, pero nosotros ambos sabíamos que había un lugar vacío abajo en el alma que no podíamos rellenar el uno al otro. Sólo Dios puede llenar aquel espacio creado por y para Él. Rezo para usted para recibir la fuerza y la claridad para hacer un cambio para Cristo. Realice que Dios le llama de esta clase de la vida. Él tiene tanto más para usted. Usted será tan bendito en su nueva vida. Su excepto será fino sólo. Ella se recuperará y con esperanza afectará por su compromiso de Cristo.

Amor,
Charlene
Translated...
Publisher's Note:
I understand.  You are a woman who adores another woman, you live for her. I also felt the same way about a woman. We had been together for 10 years. I could not see my life without her. I did not know any other love stronger than her love for me, until I met Jesus. His love is not only stronger but healing, unconditional, and most of all His love is truly ETERNAL and holy. I chose Jesus, and my ex has come to understand this, although we had broken up three years earlier. She is O.K. without me and I believe the she will eventually come to Christ because of the true change and happiness she sees in me. We loved each other, but we both knew that there was an empty place down in the soul that we could not fill in each other. Only God can fill that space created by and for Him. I am praying for you to receive the strength and clarity to make a change for Christ. Realize that God is calling you out of this kind of living. He has so much more for you. You will be so blessed in your new life. Your ex will be just fine.  She will recover and hopefully be impacted by your commitment to Christ.
Love,
Charlene
VenusMagazine.org


The dirt you espouse as "Christianity"
I have never read more vicious and anti-Christian garbage than the dirt you espouse as "Christianity" in this magazine. Christianity is about love. I have a very deep, personal relationship with God and He would never condone any group whose claim to fame is to attack other groups on any basis, be it gender, race or sexual orientation. WE ARE NOT THESE BODIES! WE ARE ALL SPIRITUALITY EQUAL! God does not care if I am in a woman's body, a black body or if my sexual orientation is gay or straight. He only cares that I try to serve Him, try to love Him and try to love others! All this other stuff you attribute to God is just your stuff! You can bet that you are not worshiping GOD when HE hates all the same people you hate!


Saved two weeks ago
What a blessing you have and will continue to experience. This is Lenore Rivers, formerly a member of NBLGLF [National Black Lesbian Gay Leadership Forum] and freelance writer/photographer; perhaps you remember me. I read all the articles regarding your coming out and the responses from those in the same gender loving communities. I am happy for you, as I walk my own spiritual journey, just having gotten saved two weeks ago....how ironic, huh. I believe whole heartedly you are called, as I am, to minister to others who want to break the cycle of the bondage of themselves. I am actually making some very important life decisions right now! I too am severing ties from the same gender loving community. I began to re-think my life style commitments years ago, when I was employed with NBLGLF, working with Keith Boykin. My journey has been very painful to say the least and now I have finally determined what I need in my life. I've turned my will and my life over to God and I am willing to do God's will. Please keep in touch.

Lenore, PRAISE GOD Almighty!
THANK YOU JESUS! You are such a wonderful soldier! I am typing through tears of joy at what God has done in your life. Are you kidding me? Of course I remember you! All the conferences we attended together, the awesome work you did, your photos we published in VENUS for years! Hallelujah!! I want to dance, right here in my office! The angels are dancing in heaven over you Girl!!!
Lenore, the most important thing we must do now is remain in constant prayer. The enemy is SURE ENOUGH angry now! Always remember that prayer is the key! Pray early and often! I'll be in touch. We've got work to do!! Glory to God!!!!!!

Your Sister in Christ,
Charlene

I was engaging in more sex with women than my own fiance
I am heartened by your willingness to be completely truthful with yourself and with others about the difference between living under the Grace of God and using the existence of that grace as an excuse to behave any way we please. I've read through many of the posted letters to the editor here that show how helpful your submission to truth is going to be to the thousands of homosexuals who know they're suffering in an illegitimate lifestyle, foundering in feelings of helplessness, desperately confused by the chorus of approval around them that doesn't match the unrelenting sense that something isn't right.
My own story is not unlike many that are to come as a result of the drumbeats pounded out by VENUS since her resurrection. I began living a bisexual lifestyle as a teenager, gradually becoming more and more one-sided in my relationships. Even as I was about to marry I was engaging in more sex with women than my own fiance. But God, in His infinite wisdom, used that to remind me who I am when one night the woman I went home with began talking about Jesus. There was a moment like a supernova going off in my soul as "TRUTH" was fully revealed to me and I realized who I was, who made me, and who it was that deserved my love and praise. I nearly left my fiance because he was a practicing Wiccan at the time. This event lead to his own conversion - but that is another wonderful, interesting story.  
 
When I became a Christian my own feelings of appreciation for women did not end. To this day it would not be difficult to allow my own mind to lead me back towards the lesbian lifestyle. Indeed, when I encounter lesbian couples in public I've occasionally felt an anxiety, a need to connect with them. Now I know that this is part of the beautiful lie that is homosexuality. Many would say that I'm denying the way I was created. But I know too much now to accept that. It is like any other addiction - any other attempt by mankind to satisfy the soul's ache with anything other than Jesus' blood. It is filled with false promise of unconditional acceptance, but once we get there we realize that the relationship with the same-sex partner is like any other relationship: made up of humans with human drives and desires and weaknesses and failures. Only the relationship with the Most High God is perfect in its completeness because He cannot fail us. So many of us mistake the answer of "No" or "Wait" to our prayers as God failing us. It is impossible for human beings to fully understand God's plan, but it is not impossible to come to understand that we are a part of that plan and that it is GOOD.  
 
Your part in that plan is to be on the front-lines of the battle of truth. I do not envy this for you! It is a trying place for any person to have to live out their faith. But I know that the greater the struggle brought down upon you, the greater God's strength will be proven in you. You are blessed like all who suffer persecution for His name. I will continue to pray for your ministry and for all those who will be touched by it. Many who read your encouraging words will be touched in ways you will never know about. And many who speak out against what you are doing here will also be touched, even though they will not know right away. The seeds of truth planted will sprout and grow as God nourishes them in the hearts of all those who need Him.

In His Name,
JM - Collierville, Tennessee

 
I don't know how!
HELLO...I AM UNSURE OF WHAT I'M DOING. I WANT TO BE FREE FROM ALL GAY LIFE STYLE BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW. I'VE ONLY BEEN WITH ONE PERSON. I JUST NEED HELP.... SOMETIME I WANT TO TAKE MY LIFE AND OTHER DAYS I AM JUST CONFUSED...HELP.

Publisher's Note: My Sister,
Please let me tell you that you can so easily be free from ALL things that make you feel out of control. The voice you hear saying to 'take your life' is the voice of Satan. His job is to seek, all day long, who he can destroy. Today, his luck just ran out! He will NOT destroy YOU! Recognize that you are precious in God's sight and God has provided a way for you to connect to Him. God has placed wonderful gifts in you and has a destiny of greatness for you, all to glorify and beautify His kingdom. He wants you to see that all of His wonderful promises for you are only two steps away.
1. Confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and 2. believe in your heart that He was raised from the dead.

Its this simple: I want you to stop whatever you are doing. Get serious about this. This very moment can bring forth a monumental life change. God is drawing you. You have already heard His voice in that you have reached out for spiritual help.  If you are serious about real peace, God will come into your heart right now and change the confusion to peace, change the darkness to pure light.
 
Pray this prayer with me, out loud, right now: Lord, I believe, with all that is within me, that you lived, suffered, and died on the cross, then rose again all for MY sins and the sins of the whole world. Lord, I surrender my ALL to you right now; all of my hurt and confusion, and all guilt from my past. I believe that ALL my sins were nailed to the cross with you on that day, so that now, I DO NOT have to carry them one step further. Lord, come into my heart, give me a new mind, and give me new cleansing thoughts. I am so sorry for everything that I have done that did not glorify you. Please forgive me. I accept your loving mercy and forgiveness in such a real and serious way that I will not allow anything or anyone to separate me from you, Lord, ever again. Lead me, teach me how to pray everyday, what to say, how to walk with you. Father, I thank you, today for you have saved my soul! Amen.
 
The word of God says that if you have said this simple prayer and believed it in your heart you are a NEW creature, with a new mind! Now, starting this very moment, begin to live for God. Many changes in your life will be evidenced and necessary. We are a work in progress. As you walk with God, many of your old habits will be joyfully replaced by God's grace. Know that this is a FAITH walk. Don't look to FEEL different at first. Use your new MIND to combat negative thoughts. Replace each negative thought with a positive and affirming scripture or thought. When the enemy says, die, YOU SAY, "The Lord of my soul says I WILL LIVE and I will live under the shadow of His almighty power! Read Psalms 91; Meditate on it.
 
I want you to type and print out [really BIG ] each of these 5 positive thoughts and post them on your frig or mirror. Hang a new one in front of the other each week, or as you feel led.

GOODNESS AND MERCY FOLLOW ME
I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR
NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME
NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR GOD
 
You belong to God's family now. He offers protection to His children under the wings of His love. You have a mighty work to perform for God. Although I don't know you personally, God knows exactly who you are, where you are and what He intends for you to accomplish for His kingdom. This is why the enemy wants to end you. But you are now empowered, not only to feel better, but to LIVE in the abundance of peace and happiness that only the grace of God can offer. You will soon help others do the same. Image how many souls just like you, that are going to be helped by hearing the testimony of your deliverance. Find a good bible fellowship. Get up early in the morning, BEFORE any T. V. or other distractions, to read your bible and pray to the Lord DAILY.  Watch the amazing growth in your beautiful soul! When you need encouragement, feel free to contact me and/or visit our website to read the testimonies of others, like you, who are answering the call of God in their lives.
 
With the Love of Christ,
-Charlene
Charlene E. Cothran Ministries
VenusMagazine.org


God loves me this way
I am a born-again Christian and a lesbian in a committed relationship. My experience has been the opposite of yours. I attempted for 20 years to live as a straight woman and regarded the scriptures literally. Then I realized that I was born and created a lesbian and God loves me this way. Further, I devoted myself to intense study of the scriptures and found that the Bible does not address homosexuality as we understand it today. In fact, much of what I was taught about the Bible was incorrect, given to me by biased, well-meaning people. I am now of the opinion that people who say they take the Bible literally have never really read the Bible.
 
Sister, I hope you have found happiness. I hope you will allow gays and lesbians to find freedom and not hate, in the church. The Bible has long been used to justify injustice against blacks and women. Please read it carefully and use it for good, not for evil.
 
Laura Mansfield
Publisher's Note:
Laura, the one thing we agree on is that God loves you just the way you are. However it is not enough to say, 'I want to live like I want to live' and still receive all that God promises, without sacrificing ones old 'self.' As sinners, we all seek after our own will, our own way, cling to habits, etc. but God loves us, still. God gives each of us choices to make. Yes, He loves us as we are, but He is patiently waiting for us to make the choice to love Him the way HE is, and to choose to live the way HE intended. In order to love Him the way HE is, we must choose to move toward the state of holiness that God is. The only way to become more like Him is to become LESS like ourselves. In other words we must be willing to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This 'self' we cling to and feel we cannot live without, doesn't amount to much more than a bowl of ashes. But God will give such exceptional beauty in exchange for those ashes. Just trust Him. Give it to Him. Change your MIND and see what God will do. To change your mind, one might think, 'I know this is wrong but it is too hard to change my 'self' so Lord I'm giving this to you and I'm asking you to change my MIND, to transform me through new thoughts and patterns [a new heart] that YOU intended for me.'

God will not to force His ways on us. He wants us to look over our lives and realize that He has been so wonderful to us, He has parted seas for us, yet we still walk after the lust of our own hearts. He is so merciful, that He extends His grace another year, then another year, and continues to protect us and meet our needs, just waiting for us to choose His way. But instead we somehow get comfortable and begin to believe that God's grace, mercy and patience toward us, while we remain in sin, is a sign that He's just fine with our sins. He is not. It grieves Him, after all He gives for us, not to choose to love Him as He intended.
-Charlene

Charlene E. Cothran Ministries


Brainwashing retreat
I am so glad that I got a chance to read Ms. Cothran's testimony. So much of it mirrored my own experience of leaving the lesbian lifestyle behind and putting Jesus Christ back into my life. When I re-dedicated my life to Christ, it was if my eyes were opened for the first time, not only about the issue of homosexuality, but about so many other things that happen in life and how all of that has lead me to where God wants me to be. I didn't go to some "brainwashing retreat" as some people think you should do to somehow rid my brain of homosexual thoughts. I sat in my bed, and poured out my heart to God about all the things that were going on in my life and He touched my heart right then. Thank you so much, Ms. Cothran, for putting your testimony out there. I actually used to be a subscriber to Venus several years back when I was still "in the life". I will definitely re-subscribe under this new mission! You are definitely a blessing!
 
Katrina Gilmore
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
 
I am a gay Christian man...
...who, like yourself, decided several years ago to "leave the gay lifestyle", which really just meant to become celibate. So I understand your struggle and your desire to be closer to God.

What I don't understand is your connection with radical conservative Christians who promote ex-gay issues as a political way to undermine the gay community. Many of the groups you now seem to hold in high regard have hurt, probably unintentionally, an untold number of gay youth, as well as gay young and older adults. I hope you understand that while many in the Gay community may not seem to be Godly, there are many conservative Christians who put on a Godly-veil, but are anything but striving for righteousness themselves. Many, Many conservative Christians put politics above Truth in order to promote their own particular agenda - the only difference oftentimes is that they do it in the guise of God's work, which to me, is worse than simply not acknowledging him at all in your walk yet.

God be with you, but don't forget, there are many Christians, gay and straight, who will disagree with you, and we have to make room for their beliefs as well - otherwise all we do is have each side call each other names, all the while we claim to be putting on Christ.

Jason

What I need to say
I read your last issue of Venus and as usual it was thought provoking. I must admit that it also caught me off guard. What I need to say to you is this, if you are core deep happy with your life and your God, then I am happy for you, I think that you are a wonderful lady.
Love,
Doris Harris your friend in Seattle,
BackBone Productions


I'm saddened by your testimony mainly because in many ways I understand it so well.
I'm a 37 year old male and spent all of my teens and twenties as a fundamentalist, Bible-believing Christian. I had my born again experience my senior year in high school when I was driven to the brink of suicide because I had a girlfriend and a best friend and I was in love with one of them. It wasn't my girlfriend. I grew up in Texas so being in love with your best friend is enough to drive any boy to the edge.

I knew at thirteen that something was different; the first time in a locker room as a seventh grader, an eighth grader walked by without a towel. It terrified me and I declared war on my body determined to change so I'd never have to tell my mother. Throughout my twenties, no one knew of my struggle with the exception of my pastor, my "ex-gay" therapist (Joe Dallas who I'm sure you're familiar) and the guys in the numerous bible studies I was involved starting with Campus Crusade for Christ while in college at Penn State and UCLA and Promise Keepers throughout my twenties.  

While working at a Hollywood production company in my late twenties, I was convinced that God had led me there to lead my own "ex-gay" crusade as I had never been exposed to so many gays and lesbians. I maintained a straight identity and never revealed by own struggle, but would always try to speak the truth in love; gently reminding them that there is a way out, although I was still secretly struggling to heal my own "sexual brokenness".

I had always embraced a fundamentalist world view where I was convinced the Bible is the inerrant, holy Word of God as it seems you have as well.  Over the decade spent studying the Word, I could no longer ignore the inconsistencies. In the circles I belonged, even questioning the Word of God was blasphemy. What I could no longer ignore is that the Bible was written by Middle Eastern men with a Middle Eastern world view two to three thousand years ago; the 66 books in the Bible were written over a period of more than a 1000 years; from 1000 B.C.E. to 135 C.E, written in Greek and Hebrew by human hands.  

 I used to counter this by saying that is was inspired by God which gave me more wiggle room when defending my literalist interpretation of the Bible.  What I could also no longer ignore are the ways that human beings have used different translations and interpretations throughout history to justify all sorts of evils from segregation (Jerry Fallwell used to use the Bible to clobber black people) to slavery and is still being used to justify treating women as well as gays and lesbians as second-class citizens.  
 
If we’re gonna take the Bible literally, then we have to take the whole thing literally, we can’t cherry pick to single out the "sins" of gay people. I challenge you to study the Bible in context. I start with the Bible because you are building your new crusade on sand when you adopt a literalist interpretation of the Bible. (This is when you may stop reading my words because it's offensive to even suggest that the Bible is not inerrant and to even suggest that the words of Paul are actually the words of Paul, a human being incapable of the inerrant or holy. Interpretations abound regarding his words to the Romans, but it's at least clear that he wasn't referring to two human beings of the same gender who love one another)  

Which brings me to the whole point of my writing you.  How are we as mere humans be so bold as to call the love shared between two people of the same gender "sin"? If God is love, how can their love be a "sin"? I've never lived a "gay lifestyle", so for me there was no "coming out of homosexuality". I fiercely maintained a straight identity and lived a straight lifestyle until I was 31 and my love for Charles was a secret I could no longer hide. I spent the first 31 years of my life hoping that one day it would all make sense, being with a woman will be "natural"; praying desperately that the "ex" part of being an "ex-gay" sticks.
 
Despite my support of Focus on the Family and the American Family Association, being active in my church, counseling with my pastors and my "ex-gay" therapist, I knew that playing it straight didn't make me straight and when I was on the verge of marrying a woman, I met Charles who has been my partner for the last six years. We have a healthy, monogamous, loving relationship defined by respect and commitment.  
 
I'm taking the time to write you because I don't think you realize the harm your new mission is having on the gays and lesbians with whom you've help liberate from their prisons of shame over the years. I know you believe that what you are doing is the truth. I know that you are convinced that being gay is a "sin" and that the Bible is the Word of God and backs up this claim. I know you are "sold out" for God. I just fear that you are leading people away from the truth and toward a path that promises a new life that is really nothing more than a dead end.  
 
I pray that God will lead you on a new mission to truly liberate gays and lesbians not from their "lifestyle", but from the judgmental rhetoric of those in the Church who use the Bible to tell lies about gays and lesbians and justify their hatred and discrimination.  You of all people should know better; and perhaps one day you will see God is using you as a mediator, not to change gays and lesbians, but to change the Church.
 
God bless.
With love,
Chris Keller

You are Being Used
While I do not agree with your latest exploits, I respect them. However please be advised as you claim to look towards Heaven that you do not allow yourself to be deceived by those with an agenda. Already some folks are using your story in attempts to deny those of us who are comfortable with our orientation our basic rights.
You see that is the paradox involving those claiming to be "ex-gay." Many of us gays have no problem with your decisions. However, groups like Focus on the Family, etc try to use your experiences to keep job-protection ordinances and the like from being passed.
Your situation reminds me of Angie and Debbie Winans. First, they wrote a song criticizing homosexuality called "It's Not Natural," then they begin speaking in legislative committees against laws that would protect gays and lesbians from discrimination in employment and housing.
 
Where is the line drawn? Please remember my point as you go about your days. Don't allow yourself to be used to deny me my rights as a gay black man.
 
Alvin McEwen
Columbia, SC
 
Publisher's Note
I am acutely aware that many on the 'right' want to use me/my story for their own narrow benefit. In many interviews I remind them that every gay or lesbian person...every PERSON deserves basic HUMAN RIGHTS. The right to NOT be fired from their jobs for being gay, the right to declare whom ever they please as their 'next of kin' for medical emergency, property exchange, insurance privileges etc. [I am NOT seeking 'forgiveness' here. I believe its just right.] However I DO NOT support the push of the gay/lesbian agenda in the K-12 school systems. Where do GAY ACTIVISTS draw the line? NO ONE is born gay, which makes the recruiting of children--by inviting them to explore whether or not they might be gay--a very sad situation. Leave children out of this.
I should also remind you that I was 'used' by gay activists in the exact same manner when they found out that a black lesbian with a gay magazine existed. They cared less about me or my career in publishing. It was all about what I could do to help push the gay agenda of the hour. After the push--march, article, lobby effort, speech--I was discarded like yesterday's newspaper. Yep, I'm talking gay activists, mostly white males during that time. I appreciate your writing.
Charlene E. Cothran
Much Could be Forgiven
Fortunately, not everyone in America feels a need to live his or her life based upon religious dogma. Therefore, I will not join an other-worldly discussion about a non-existent god and phantom plans for heterosexuality. Nor will I debate ancient writings that have been used to justify slavery and racial inferiority for African Americans like yourself.  
Frankly Ms Cothran,  under other circumstances, I wouldn't care less for your supposedly empty life, one now filled with a self righteousness that includes the "right" to "save" others who you mistakenly think to be as miserable as you were or are. But, given your public profile among lesbians, the damage you might do is not inconsiderable, as the coverage given your "redemption" by Christian fascist outfits shows. To cite just one example, the loathsome Peter LaBarbera of "Americans for Truth" gloated in your supposed "redemption." This is a man who seeks to deny gays equal civil rights since he claims we can "change," a fiction now backed by your betrayal of people you once called sisters.

But much could be forgiven if you were to back equal civil rights for LGBT people.  Do you support legislation baring discrimination in employment for gays, equal access to the contract of marriage? Do you back gays openly joining the military?
BOB SCHWARTZ
Gay Liberation Network, Chicago


I'm shocked, really.
I apologize if my English is not so good, but a long time has passed since I have spoken this language the last time. I do not know what I can tell you, but I'm shocked. What is about the way of thinking? Ok, your right. Gay people will never go to heaven, but in fact of one simple thing. Heaven does not exist, also like Hell. And if, why should Jesus or God or somebody else does not like homosexual people? Why? In reason of which fact we are sinners? We love! And this is the one thing that's important in believing, isn't it?

I stopped believing in God a long time, before I became homosexual. Why is our gender or something like this a important thing to be as worth as other people. In my opinion it is a kind of racism. Excuse me, but every day, I have to fight for, that I'll be accepted like I am. I love my life, I love my girlfriend and nothing can come between us. And if God will be something, if he tries to come between us, I think he's more a demon!

Thank you for listening.
A lesbian girl from Germany

Gay-bashing, blood-stained hands
Curiosity led me to your website via an e-mail link from a fundamentalist Christian organization. Congratulations to Charlene Cothran! Her reverse “coming out” has gifted a huge propaganda coup to the red-neck “moralizing” Christian right. She has played right into their grubby, gay-bashing, blood-stained hands.
As if that in itself were not bad enough, she has also apparently “come out” herself as a fundamentalist believer in the mind-poisoning, mind-numbing Judeo-Christian Jesus mythology. Together, these actions will cause untold misery and uncertainty for the tens of thousands of homosexuals (both male and female) who can now expect new, intensified rounds of persecution and more fear and hatred—all fuelled by, and “justified” through 3,000-year-old biblical phobias and nonsensical beliefs.
Many homosexuals will be thrown back into doubt and wonder if there is some “truth” in the ancient nonsense that their condition is a “sin”—an “abomination to the lord”—and that their lifestyle is “sinful” instead of accepting that it is NORMAL and just a case of their naturally being ‘wired’ differently from the majority in their sexual orientation. It will also provide prejudiced heterosexuals who are not religiously active the excuse to ask the same questions and reintroduce discriminations all over again. Which is of course what the religious right would love to see happen!
Does Ms Cothran believe that a supposed almighty, omniscient god would be so stupid or blind not to see through such a charade? Too bad he/she/it made Ms Cothran a wicked gay sinner—and now a dishonest one, too. (Come to think of it, why would such a god demand its created creatures constantly to repent of being made the way it made them? It seems like a case of a nasty, psychotic deity projecting its own anger and frustrations at its own failure to make the perfect beings onto those very less than perfect beings—i.e. us! But, as with all ‘theological’ issues, this line of questioning is hypothetical, silly and irrelevant.)
I feel very sorry for all the extra hardship and misery Ms Cothran’s actions will cause the homosexual community not only in your own country, but throughout the world. I also feel sorry for Ms Cothran for apparently betraying and abandoning the rationalism which had enabled her to promote her (and others’) sexual difference in an honest, positive way which has also helped most of the heterosexual majority become more tolerant and civilized. Instead, she has chosen the retrograde step of sucking up to ‘conservative’ Christianity, which, like all religions, is based upon irrational beliefs in the supernatural and, as such, has always opposed rationalism and reason. There is not a single, rational justification for mistreating homosexual people anymore than there is one for mistreating the mentally disabled, the elderly, children, or people of a different skin colour to one’s own. If someone can give a justification other than a circular argument quote from Judeo-Christian mythology—sorry, “scripture”—then please let me know.
Regards, (Dr) Tim Nelson,
Devonport, Auckland, New Zealand.
Your So-Called Conversion
I read your "Redeemed" article with disgust. I want you to know that it does not fool anyone in the informed gay community. We are well aware that you changed Venus magazine because it didn't make any money...further - most of the income of Kitchen Table News is generated from the black churches and those who support them. Hence it is perfectly obvious that you are playing to your grandstands. You clearly know your market and have decided to tailor your life to fit your economic necessities. Your new found "religious" position only serves to reinforce the already entrenched homophobia of a large part of the black religious community and to make life that much more difficult for the people you have the temerity to refer to as your "gay and lesbian brothers and sisters." Let me assure you, you are certainly no "sister" of mine. Far from being a sister, you have made yourself an enemy of the queer community by publicly reinforcing the primitive theology of a religion built on grotesque mistranslation, contextual error and a plethora of wholesale borrowings from earlier religions. It is my personal opinion that you have done so for money - for business advantage. For this your own religion provides the best one word summary - JUDAS.

I have no doubt that you will insist your conversion is sincere - indeed, how could you say otherwise? Protestations of sincerity do not alter observable facts and it is easily observable that your conversion is, shall we say, most convenient. Let me also say emphatically that you have become a racist. In your article, point 2 says the idea that we are born gay is the product of the "white gay establishment." This is flatly racist and you should be ashamed of publishing such an outright lie. I have been involved with the struggle for gay & lesbian rights ever since Stonewall and GENUINE black brothers and sisters were shoulder to shoulder from the very first moment the very first beer bottle was thrown at a police bigot in the Stonewall bar. Maybe because you weren't there, you are not aware of that but you should be aware that people of color - all colors - have been leaders in this movement from the beginning. Further, the genetic predisposition to homosexuality is a matter of science, not of race. Surely you are sufficiently educated to comprehend that. I conclude that you are either very deluded or very venal. In either case, you are pathetic.
Members of New Jersey's LGBT Community

PUBLISHER¹S NOTE:
Just a note to let you know that your conclusions are way off. Venus has managed to pay for itself AND Kitchen Table News. In fact, we are considering closing Kitchen Table News because after four years it simply is not paying for itself. As for support from black churches, we have been and continue to be avoided them financially. Support given usually comes in the form of an ad, here or there, but they are few and far between. We have sought support for KTN from professional black clergy associations in New Jersey but have gotten not one official or unofficial, public or private endorsement to this day.
As far as being a racist is concerned, it was [and is] the blatant racism WITHIN THE GAY COMMUNITY from coast to coast that made VENUS necessary and instantly embraced by Black Gays who could not, after Stonewall, get into a gay club without being harassed, [had to show five picture IDs while white patrons walked by with one]; could not get coverage in the local gay press, neither were we invited to sit on gay boards [in most cases until AFTER critical decisions were already made. Certainly you are informed enough to know this as fact.
I don't usually feel a need to respond to letters like this but I feel it is also an opportunity to minister to you. If it is possible, with your own logic, wisdom, education and experience, TO BE SO UTTERLY OFF BASE with regard to your conclusions about my publishing efforts, then isn't it possible, using this same logic, that you could be wrong about salvation & where you'll spend eternity?
Charlene E. Cothran

Pure Blood
I am amazed at the pure blood people are seeing because the publisher of VENUS has now committed her life to Christ. It's as if there's an inward fear or something. Her piece/testimony is not condemning, but as she shared it's something she knew all along....homosexuality is a sin. If she made it up I think we would have a right to cry "homophobia". But, as a Christian she had to reconcile her personal beliefs with what is said in God's word.
She has that right and freedom.
No matter how it's twisted and turned, it's there. People leaving the homosexual lifestyle have just as much right to share their stories and offer help to those wanting to leave the life as much as a homosexual has a right to use the tools of the civil rights movement.
What I am seeing is God moving on the heart of some very prominent homosexuals. Is that the fear...that you may be next to open your heart to His love and healing? That your hatred towards committed Christians may one day turnaround?
I don't believe that homosexuality is a orientation one is born with.
That myth has already been debunked. I do believe that people who practice it, have successfully walked away. And there are some who practice it that are perfectly ok with it. So to the homosexual that's at peace, I say continue to be at peace with your life. To the ex-gay, I say continue to be at peace and reach out to those that want the same. Don't let the anger of some, quiet your testimony of God's love and power in a person's life.
denise, New York


What Do I Do?
The craziest thing about this article is that it was emailed to me the very moment I realized God was trying to regain my attraction to men. I have been known as "the gayest woman on earth." I have always felt a strong male quality about myself and I would like to hang to it but, I gave my life to Christ and have told Him and prayed to Him to control my body for His doing. He wants me to have a child. I know this in itself does not make me straight, but He is putting in me a weird attraction to black men. What do I do?
I don't have a girlfriend but I do have a woman who I love deeply. We are sexual with one another and I see us being life partners. She is my soul mate but to have a child I must procreate with a man. Does God want me to be straight or just bear His holy fruit? I can only continue to be open to my Lord and trust the path He puts me on is to His love and righteousness.

Publisher¹s Note:
My dearest sister, I feel you on many levels. My advice to you is to do nothing, with anyone, until you have had a chance to submit yourself in prayer, search the scriptures and receive an absolutely clear instruction from the Lord. You mention in your comment that you have given your life to Christ and asked Him to 'control your body for His doing.' Several questions come to mind with regard to how you are understanding the body's 'doing' once we become committed to Christ.
a. Do you believe the Word of God?
b. How much time per day are you spending reading and studying the Word on your own?
c. Have you developed a consistent prayer life? Have you reserved a certain portion of each day solely for communion alone with God?
I had also felt a strong male quality about myself. I probably was not the 'butchest' woman in town but I enjoyed the control I felt in relationships, and other areas of my life. However, once I gave complete control to Christ and began to relax in my walk with Him, I no longer felt a need to be in control of everything or everyone in my world, which is the perceived male quality that I was holding on to.

I also realize that for me, the 'butch' thing was about rebuking male advances. I no longer have a need to protect myself from men [from the fear of becoming sexually promiscuous, like my pre-adolescent teenage years, when I last fully embraced my femininity.] When I need protection, the Holy Ghost does it for me. Thus my suppressed femininity now freely blossoms. Once we truly give control of our lives via our hearts and minds to Christ, our thoughts and desires have the opportunity to progress toward the state of holiness that God intended for us.
The body, or flesh, however, has its own agenda. It wants what it wants all the time. This is why we must be careful as new converts not to be deceived by the enemy. Can you honestly say that sleeping with a woman [or sleeping with a man you are not married to] is a spiritual or 'one-in-Christ' experience? It is not. It feels good to the flesh but the act is VOID of spirit. God is NOT in it. The fact that lots of folks are doing it [including preachers and pastors] does not change the fact that it is sin, nor does it change the consequences. For those who have a stubborn will and who continue to walk against what you know to be the truth in your heart, there is ultimately a price to pay.
I also know that it is painful to think of giving up the woman to whom you feel so deeply connected. I, too, loved a woman deeply. We were committed to one another for 10 years. However I was able to release her in my heart when God asked me to consider how much greater a sacrifice it was for Him to give up His only Son for a world of folks who hated Him.
Your sacrifice in this walk is great, however the rewards are even greater. Take note that You CAN live holy in this day and age if you believe that GREATER is He that is in you, than He that is in the world. God is indeed calling you, but not as you stated, for the purpose of being attracted to men for procreation. Just as homosexual relationships are not all about sex, full repentance is not all about becoming heterosexual. God is calling you to become completely devoted to Him. For now, let that be enough.
Charlene E. Cothran

Heavy Heart
My heart is very heavy today. I found out that Lesbian publisher Charlene Cothran, who gave me my first chance to write editorials for a magazine, has renounced her sexuality and is now an enthusiastic spokeswoman for "ex-gays." In the latest edition of her (erstwhile) LesBiGay publication VENUS, she tells of being converted to fundamentalist Christianity. She says she is convinced as to the utter infallibility of Bible scripture.

How odd that just yesterday, I purchased a book called MISQUOTING JESUS. It tells a shocking tale of how original manuscripts for the New Testament were subject to a myriad of changes: Additions, deletions, mistranslations and substitutions of words, done both accidentally and deliberately. The author stresses that there's ample evidence of tampering with Bible scripture, and we can never be sure of the degree of tampering because the original documents no longer exist....The way I approach scripture (Gnostic and otherwise) is with both my intellect and my senses. I look for wisdom. I look for love. I look for inclusiveness.
D. C.

Publisher's Note:
Dear D. C., Let me make it clear that I am NOT a spokesperson for any 'ex-gay' movement. If I am a spokesperson at all, it is for Jesus Christ and Him crucified. My question to you is, Did we create ourselves? Are not we all the product of and controlled by a greater being? Our very lives are ³subject to a myriad of changes: additions, deletions, mistranslations...done both accidentally and deliberately, yet God made, owns and controls each one of us, down to our every heart beat; whether or not we acknowledge Him as God, whether or not we have been delivered from sin. Hence, He was indeed in control of every scribe who translated biblical text from the original document, delivering with finality and power His Word.
Charlene E. Cothran


Deeply Hurt
I'm just hurt deeply at the remarks made by Charlene Cothran. Having worked with Charlene on many activities both in Atlanta and New York. I can't believe how quickly she has become a gay basher. We all know the Lord for the most part, and believe in our hearts and confess with are mouths we shall be saved. It doesn't take a church or a collar wearing person to give you that.
Charlene, if you read this, do us all a favor don't forget those that helped you in that past. Never good to burn bridges, you may have to cross again.
Andreas, NYC

Publisher's Note:
Andreas, Yes, I do remember all the work that you and many others did to help build VENUS. First of all, I'm wondering if you have read my testimony for yourself? Please do so, Redeemed! 10 Ways to Get Out of the Gay Life If You Want Out!". Hopefully you will see that I am not bashing or condemning anyone.

I know this is hard for many to comprehend, but my submission is to Christ alone, not to the gay-bashing preachers who have used the church to hurt gays and lesbians for so long. In my church and travels, I let people know how many wonderful people I've met, who happen to be gay; who have taken care of the sick and destitute, and raised well-adjusted children from their own families who would have had no other parent. I believe that this is why God has called me and others who have actually lived this thing; to plant seeds, water them and use our gifts to loving help those who are now, will be or should be looking for a way out.
Andreas, I know you to be a spiritually focused man. That is why we connected at heart. Trust that I love you and have not forgotten you. It is because of people like you, who are like family, that I have to offer my testimony. If you were suddenly rescued from a sinking ship but your family was still on that ship, wouldn't you try to do all you could get them off that ship? Andreas, I feel in my spirit that if you were to get alone and truly search yourself, you'd discover that you believe the same thing I do.
Still Your Sister, Charlene


Arms Too short
Good for her! It takes courage to be open about the change in her life, just as it took courage to be open about her sexuality. I'm not going to judge this woman. I think gays all too often want to cry "homophobia" when someone no longer wants to throw Skittles off the rainbow float with them. I'm in a SSA, but I'm not going to say her spiritual awakening wasn't real for her. I know of others that left the life, but I still love them and they me.

I have a feeling we're going to hear more of these "coming out" stories. Your arms are too short to box with God when He moves in a person's life..... For a community that is supposed to exercise "love and tolerance" there's a lot of spiteful hatred. I read the publisher's story of her testimony and she is addressing those in the community that WANT TO find a way out through a relationship with God. There's no where in her piece that I even picked up on the same hatred I'm hearing. She never condemned anyone to hell. Now we have a "poll" trying to discredit her personal experience in a sneaky way? As I said before, good for her. How God moves in a person's life is one of the mysteries the finite wisdom of man will never understand. I wish her the best in her new endeavors.
At times, I think the anger and hatred I hear from some of these so-called gay leaders when someone does give their life to Christ is non-productive. Leave that woman alone, she can do what she pleases and if she wants to run commercials or write a book about it, that's her business.
Ramsey

Blinded Heart
As one who spent over 22 years living in darkness and wholeheartedly believing from a blinded heart that gay-Christianity is a valid lifestyle, I must say, to God be the Glory! Great things He has done in the life of my brave Sister, Charlene E. Cothran. Thank You, Jesus - and hat's-off to you, Girl! Remain encouraged in the Faith, always believing in the One, the Truth, the Living God, and in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Most Sovereign! We once were blind, but now we see! How good and pleasant it is. May the Wisdom, Knowledge, Understanding, and the Peace of God rest with you and yours always, Sister Cothran.
K. Godfrey Easter,
Kingdom Servant, Author
kgodfreyeaster.com

Greetings
Greeting and Salutations In the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ, I wanted to tell you how moved I was about your article '10 Ways to Get Out the Gay Life.' One of our deacons brought the article [reprinted in a community news paper owned by Cothran] to our Bible study last night and we had a very "energetic" discussion on how the "church" has dropped the ball on this issue. Continue to be bold in the Lord, our prayers are with you. GOD Bless
F. A. Johnson, Jr. New Jersey